Kid Talk

KonMari Problems: Scissors

A long time ago, we had a house full of kids and constantly missing scissors. TW, being TW, ordered a gross of scissors from ebay — a mix of all kinds of scissors, probably those confiscated at an airport by TSA or something. It was a glorious thing to see all of those scissors. To have them all inside of this wonderful metal box that belonged to TW. To always know that if you needed scissors and none were immediately at hand, you could just head to the metal box of scissor joy.

box

Fast-forward 10 (or more?) years and we still have the metal box but it’s a lot less full of joy than it used to be. Scissors have disappeared to wherever scissors go. Or, scissors have been thrown away because they don’t actually do the job of cutting any longer. Or, I don’t know. They’re just gone.

boxscissors

Which is fine. Really. We’re no longer a house full of children and we do have more than enough scissors to bring us joy. I cannot see us buying any more scissors in our lifetime. Really. TW’s purchase was a great investment on our future. Truly. If they still sell these huge boxes of scissors on ebay and you have a house full of kids and constantly missing scissors, you should consider just such a purchase. It will serve you well.

But, here’s where I’m having some KonMari joy problems.

1) Some of the scissors in this box really don’t bring much joy. I can’t see us ever using some of these types of scissors, ever. They’re just not the kind of scissors we actually use or need. We definitely need to Kondo these. Immediately.

2) Worse yet, we’re notoriously bad at putting scissors back to the place that they belong. (I’m sure we blamed the kids all those years ago when TW bought all of the scissors, but it’s clearly a shortcoming of the adults in the house, as much as the kids.) Putting items back to their proper place is a clear mandate of the KonMari system. Determine where items belong and put them there. Keep them there. Always return them there. That’s how you prevent clutter and prevent yourself from buying more things that you don’t need. If your things are always in their proper places, you will always know what you have and not find yourself buying more of things that you ultimately do not need.

A few days ago, I rounded up all of the scissors I could find in the downstairs part of the house (again, I’m not touching the girls’ rooms upstairs and I’m not touching TW’s mom’s room.) I’m sure there are more scissors that I have not found but I rounded up dozens of scissors from all over the place. The only scissors I did not remove from their existing locations were a) a pair of scissors on my art table b) the broken kitchen scissors, which I repaired and left in the drawer, (though I suspect these are more broken than I’d like to think and will ultimately be discarded.)

kitchen art

Since the day when I rounded up all of the scissors, during a conference call at work (I’m one hell of a multi-tasker), scissors have found their way back to a variety of places where they’re somewhat useful but… they do not actually BELONG in these places. Or do they?

Is that my problem with scissors? I think they should always live in the big metal box but maybe the excess scissors should always be in the big metal box but other scissors should live in other places?

Some people think that you should keep items where you’re most likely to use them. Marie Kondo says this is wrong. That when we need something, we do not mind the effort it takes to go to the location where the item lives to get the item that we need. The problem lies in the putting the item back. If it’s difficult to return a thing to its proper place, we will not do so. We need to make the item easier to return than to retrieve. Is that making sense? It makes sense when she says it, trust me.

The metal box is not super easy to get to, in its current location. It lives on the bottom shelf of a Billy in the office. There are often things sitting in front of it or on top of it. It’s less than 10′ from where I’m sitting right now, typing this. I can see it on the shelf. Yet, there are three pairs of scissors sitting in the coffee cup on my desk. Why didn’t I get up and put the scissors back in the metal box when I finished using them? I retrieved them from the box when I needed them. Three times! What made it so much harder to put them back?

Is it because I have this coffee cup sitting on my desk that’s full of pens? If that coffee cup wasn’t on my desk, would I be more likely to put the scissors in the box? If I move the box to another location, would I be more likely to put the scissors back?

coffee

How do I explain the scissors that are even closer to the metal box, on TW’s desk? A desk she does not use… as a desk. At all. Ever.

twdesk

Or the extra pair of scissors that found its way into another kitchen drawer?

drawer

Or the scissors that are on the dresser in the bedroom?

dresser

Did someone retrieve all of those from the metal box? Was it me? Or were they “found” not in their proper place, the metal box, but somewhere else and I just missed them on the first pass? And, where should the big metal box live that would make it easier for all of the people in the house to put all of the scissors away all of the time?

Or, should I just stop thinking about this and put one pair of scissors in all of the places scissors are often found and get rid of the surplus of scissors that live in the box, even though they mostly still bring joy (they’ll all bring joy, once we go through the box and toss out the really dumb scissors.)

Surely other people have scissor issues? But if that’s true, why has nobody recorded a KonMari scissors video? Maybe it’s just me? Maybe it’s just us?

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Moon Cleveland

Here I am playing catch up with books — so out of order, let’s go with Moon Cleveland. RJ flipped through the book while she was home on mid-term break and picked out a bunch of places she thought she might like to check out while we were visiting for parents’ weekend.

I went through it after her and then planned our itinerary around her choices — and mine.

Saturday
– West Side Market was fantastic. Unplanned dash into Koffie Cafe — TW is still raving about her coffee.
– A visit to the A Christmas Story house/museum and that was awesome. Even if they over-booked their 12:15 tour and we had to wait in the cold for an extra half hour. Heh.
– Melt Bar and Grilled for lunch was a-freaking-mazing. Vegan chicken wings were excellent. All of our sandwiches were fabulous. I’m so glad I noticed they had vegan offerings because RJ was in heaven with her pierogie grilled cheese.
– Next, we headed to Cleveland Heights and wandered around the shops on Coventry Village. A used bookstore and Big Fun Toys were both big fun.
– We ran over to Eton something or other (a frou frou mall) for the Vegan Sweet Tooth and RJ was very pleased with her vegan baked good.
– A stop in Target for dorm supplies (and junk) rounded out a very full day.

Sunday
– The Root Cafe for breakfast — my huevos rancheros were good, RJ’s friend joined us and her egg & goat cheese sandwich looked excellent. RJ was very pleased with her vegan scramble.
– The Rock n Roll Hall of Fame visit was more fun than I expected. TW was the one who really wanted to go there but I definitely enjoyed it.
– The Free Stamp was on my list but A had to be back to Oberlin by 2 so we didn’t have time to walk over to see it. Luckily, we drove right past it on the way back so that was a lucky break!

All in all, a good trip. Oh, the Moon guide was fine. Not exceptional but it did the trick.

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She’s No Mrs. Futch…

So remember yesterday? When I spent an hour (which was really closer to three, once it was all said and done) getting shit figured out so that everyone (RJ) could do everything she wanted to do today? Yea. All for nothing.

We got up at 5am so that we could have RJ at ETHS to catch the bus for Science Olympiad BEFORE 6:30am and then we were going to pick her up at Oakton Community College at 11am, after dropping TW’s mom off at the nursing home.

Well… one kid was late, so they waited AN HOUR for him to arrive, which means they were late to Science Olympiad.

If that wasn’t bad enough, the adviser demoted RJ from her co-caption varsity team status to JV status and knocked her off of the two panel thingies she was on and put her on another panel team thingy that she’d not prepared for. Which was bad but it got worse when it turns out the team panel thingy didn’t actually have room for her.

She was replaced by people who had not prepared for her events so what are the odds that those teams would perform well? Slim to none, right?

So, to recap… we got up at 5am so she could catch a bus that left an hour later than scheduled for her to go to an event that SHE DID NOT GET TO PARTICIPATE IN.

What the hell, right?

(Mrs Futch was an awesome 2nd grade teacher that a couple of the kids at Littlewood — we like to hold all teachers to her standards because I think some of the kids still quote Mrs Futch from time to time. I know I do.)

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Girl Scout Cookie Time

It’s Girl Scout Cookie Time and I made sure to have some cash in my pocket today when we ran errands — sure enough, the girls were outside of the Starbucks, which is right next to the Robeks we usually stop at after a trip to the Navy base.

While we waited for our Robeks, I asked TW what kind of cookies she wanted. She said, “I dunno, who is the baker?”

Duh, either Little Brownie Baker or ABC, how the hell did I know? I could have walked out there and looked at the boxes and then come back and asked her again which kinds she wanted but whatever. I’ve never tasted a difference between the two, I think TW is just weird.

She’s also annoying and did not want Samoas (Little Brownie Baker FTW!) so I only bought one box of those to send to Sassymonkey and the Fake Husband. She’s also annoying because she likes Thin Mints — I do not. Thankfully she does like Trefoils and Tagalongs — so I bought those and was happy enough.

This led Elly to be completely 100% annoyed. We bought Trefoils for godsakes and NO SAMOAS? What is WRONG WITH US?

I blamed her mother, rightfully so — there are some things I’ll take the blame for but not buying Samoas, nope. That’s all on TW. (But next year I’ll remember and buy a box of them for Elly and we will make sure TW doesn’t touch them.)

Now I’m off to eat a Trefoil. Or 12.

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My Locket

Jenn sent me a fabulous opal locket for my birthday — It arrived with the Christmas gifts she sent in December. I didn’t expect it because she’d already gifted me with cleaning ladies so I had absolutely no idea this was coming.

It’s a great locket but there were problems…

I don’t really wear jewelry. I wear the gecko that the kids gave me a zillion years ago in the Philippines and the coffee bean TW gave me for beaning day, on one chain. One chain I haven’t taken off, except to replace a broken chain, in more than 10 years.

This locket came on a very long chain. One I was very sure I’d break. Not to mention it’s heavy — not the kind of thing I can put on and never take off again. It’s also too heavy to put on the same chain with the coffee bean and the gecko.

So it sat here on my desk and I fondled it every day. Opened it and looked at the pictures. Closed it and fondled it again. What to do…?

Of course. I could turn it into a Filofax charm! And when I gifted myself with the A5 Malden, I knew it would be PERFECT as a charm for that Filofax.

We went to Michael’s yesterday and I bought the stuff to turn it into a Filofax charm (along with the two flamingos TW gave me for Christmas) and I love the way it turned out. The Malden is almost always on my desk and I can fondle the opal and look at the photos all of the time, without worrying about losing it or breaking it.

I love, love, love it.

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Little Blue Car

I’m very very thankful for TW’s little blue car. It has carried Christopher safely to Charleston and back again. I will admit to being worried. It’s an old car with a lot of miles and has not been well taken care of since we moved to Chicagoland.

TW wasn’t worried, even when I reminded her that the little blue car didn’t make it to Charleston a few years ago when they attempted the same trip. I guess she knew something I didn’t, it was her car after all.

That little blue Subaru Forester is a great car. I miss it but I’m glad it’s taking care of Chris.

(Pst! I did it — not only did I post for the entire month, I’ve posted at least one post a day about things or people I’m thankful for. Yippee! Now I can go back to being my normal, bitchy self?)

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You Don’t Suck

I took the girls to Michaels today — a little Christmas shopping, just the three of us. If I hadn’t had to force the child to get out of bed at 1:45 and hadn’t had to listen to her gripe about having to SEE PEOPLE when she didn’t want to SEE PEOPLE, I’d have turned around and gone right back home when I saw the parking lot. MADHOUSE, just in the parking lot. I’m not used to that. Normally when we go to Michaels, it’s pretty much empty. Darn holiday season.

But no, I braved it and by the third aisle I was pretty sure they were going to kick us out. The girls were… wound UP. They were those kids people talk about. The out of control, loud, touching everything, getting in everyone’s way kind of kids. And they’re TEENAGERS. Hell, one of them is an actual ADULT who can VOTE for godsake.

Some people glared. Some people stared. Some people grumbled. I couldn’t really blame them because OMG they were out of control.

But some people were nice. Particularly the man and woman in front of us in line. And we were in line for a really long time because there were cash register problems. I really appreciate nice people who don’t suck. Elly calls that woman my new BFF because she was so nice.

I sure hope I see more nice people who don’t suck this holiday season — she made my day. Go out there and be the nice person who doesn’t suck and make someone’s day!

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“Yikes, I’m In Trouble”

When one of your children messages you saying “Yikes, I’m in trouble!” It can make your stomach do horrible, horrible things.

Thankfully, it can also make you laugh when you find out the reason your child is in trouble is that her son, your grandson, is totes adorbs and she’s in trouble because you’ve sent her the link to the Toys-R-Us Black Friday ad and your grandson needs ALL. OF. THE. THINGS.

I’m thankful for that kind of trouble.

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30 + 44 = Awesome

Last Saturday TW said she thought Jenn would need balloons for her birthday. I didn’t get it. Balloons? Why would she need balloons? It hit me about three days later. Oh. 30. She’ll be 30. Of course she needs balloons.

So we ran down to the Dollar Tree before coffee and grabbed a few mylar balloons and one on a stick for JMP and some birthday candles. Those were a hit, particularly with JMP — he played with them all day long.

Then it was pretty low key for the rest of the day. We all did a little work. TW had a little nap. We played with JMP.

I picked the girls up from school and brought them home where we all sang to Jenn while she opened the magic birthday bag. (TW got a present in her email this morning and she’ll get another present tomorrow when she and Chris go shopping…)

Then we all loaded up in two cars and went out to Chicken & Waffles (TW’s choice) — mmmm, chicken and waffles. We got there too early for the live Jazz but we wanted to beat the storm and it’s a good thing we did. It was bad (brief, but bad) — watching the lightning strike in the field across from the restaurant. Ouch. I’m glad we weren’t out in that. It was a good dinner — JMP enjoyed it, quite a lot.

Then it was back home for a quick blowing out of the 30 birthday candles and a few bites of cheesecake before the little girls had to head back to their dad’s house.

It was nice having Jenn home for her birthday. 30 years. It seems pretty impossible, to me.

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