Daily Dose of Life – Cold Water Communication
When the older three children were small, they did not like lasagna. (To put it mildly.) They would happily eat boiled lasagna noodles with a serving of sauce on the side and a serving of cottage cheese and mozzarella on the side but put it all together and they would act like you were trying to feed them brussel sprouts. They knew that all of those things that they would happily eat, separate, made up lasagna and a couple of them loved to make lasagna but they would not eat it.
The youngest went further than not liking it, she would proclaim her disdain loudly if she even saw lasagna on a restaurant menu or if she saw the noodles in the commissary (that’s supermarket for you non-military people) or smelled it cooking in the oven. She would tell us how horrible it was all through dinner and how it would probably KILL us if we kept eating it. We’d send her off to eat in another room and she’d still be mumbling about the horrors of lasagna when she brought her clean plate into the kitchen.
Moving right along…
I have some friends who have complete and utter disdain for all things religion. They continually share the horrors of religion with us. They never share any positive stories about the good done in the name of a religion. If you’re lucky enough to be standing in front of them and mention something about your church or the positive experience you’ve had through religion you can see them cringe. If you’re lucky enough to be sharing this information with them online, they do an internet cringe or worse yet, they get snarky.
I’m not really a religious person. I don’t do God or The Goddess or Buddha or any other deity you want to bring up. I do however enjoy attending the local UU Fellowship. When I mentioned this once, in the course of a morning hello post, to some internet friends, one threw cold water on my good feelings so completely I couldn’t breathe for a moment.
And here we are, the point of this…
Why do people do this type of thing? We all do it to some extent but why do some people do it so often and so intensely?
Spanglemonkey suggested that a recent instance of narrow-mindedness was in part due to age, or lack of. The idealism of youth. The ability to see things only as black or white, right or wrong, good or evil.
My children definitely outgrew their hatred of lasagna, (though some love it more than others). But people don’t seem to outgrow the inability to open their minds. Why is that? Why do some of us respond with “If I don’t get this, it’s not true†and others don’t? What causes a person to focus only on what they see and dismiss anyone who sees something else entirely?
Is it lack of identity that causes this type of narrow-mindedness? Are these people so busy trying to protect themselves that they can’t allow themselves to see from someone else’s point of view? Is it fear of the unknown? Or is it all of those things?
My children didn’t eat lasagna for years because it was unknown, it looked like something other than they were use to but they braved their fear, and they tried it. My friends may never step out of their safety zone and look at spirituality in a way that might positively affect their lives but I do hope they learn to appreciate the good feelings and the good work that their spiritual friends have found and do through religion. Or at least be respectful.
All I ask, all I have ever asked, is that when someone presents an idea that is foreign to you, do not give a knee-jerk reaction. When someone shares their good feelings, don’t throw cold water. And, when someone suggests a new form of building community and shows you example after example of how it has worked, do not dismiss it because you can’t see its benefit to YOU. (And oddly enough, this isn’t directed at my new blogging pal, DnW – she was pretty open minded for a stubborn woman!)
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