March 2005

The Homosexual Agenda

Daily Dose, GLBT /

I know that many of you have heard Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, and others speak of the “Homosexual Agenda,” but no one has ever seen a copy of it. I have finally obtained a copy directly from the Head Homosexual. So we’re all up to speed, it follows below:

The Homosexual Agenda:

6:00 am Gym

8:00 am Breakfast

9:00 am Hair appointment

10:00 am Shopping

12:00 PM Brunch

2:00 PM (Here’s the really important part)

1) Assume complete control of the US Federal, State and local Governments as well as all other national governments
2) Recruit all straight youngsters to our debauched lifestyle
3) Destroy all healthy heterosexual marriages
4) Replace all school counselors in grades K-12 with agents of Colombian and Jamaican drug cartels
5) Establish planetary chain of “homo breeding gulags” where over -medicated imprisoned straight women are turned into artificially impregnated baby factories to produce prepubescent love slaves for our devotedly pederastic gay leadership
6) Bulldoze all houses of worship
7) Secure total control of the INTERNET and all mass media for the exclusive use of child pornographers.

2:30 PM Get Forty Winks of Beauty Rest to prevent facial wrinkles from stress of world conquest

4:00 PM Cocktails

6:00 PM Light Dinner

8:00 PM Theater

11:00 PM Bed

ARghhhhhhhh I don’t think I’ve managed to complete a single task on my agenda today! Oh wait, I took TW for HER hair appointment this afternoon and I did have a slice of pizza while I was working around 6:30pm. I need to get with the program before they take my membership card away from me!

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Ask a Teen

Daily Dose, Family Funk, Kid Talk, Religion /

My daughter (the 15 year old) will be having her Universalist Unitarian Coming of Age Celebration this weekend! Yippeee!

As part of the weekend long celebration, there will be a dinner for the Coming of Agers, their mentors, their parents (or other worthy adult in their lives), and the youth group leaders on Saturday night.

The adults were asked to bring two questions that they’ve always wanted to ask a teen and I’m having some trouble with that. I can’t come up with a single question that I’ve always wanted to ask but never have!

Are all parents like me? Are you all short of questions? Or do some of you have things you haven’t actually asked your teens?

If you have a question for a teen, (whether you’re a parent or not), feel free to post it in the comments section – I’m getting desparate and may have to resort to asking Zobmondo or sweet meme questions and that’s just silly!

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Guys are hurting us

Daily Dose, Women /

Burningbird – Steve Levy, Dave Sifrey, and NZ Bear: You are Hurting Us

I know, some people are tired of this topic, but saying you’re tired of this topic is like saying you’re tired of hearing about gay rights or women’s rights or any other topic where one majority group is minimizing the needs and issues of another. Face it, the guys minimized the issue and the guys just keep linking themselves and each other and so it goes. Patriarchy is alive and well and thriving in the Blogosphere just as it does in the “real” world.

If you missed the first part of this, here’s a link – it’s well worth a read, comments as well.

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