TW finally did it and I’m beginning to wish I hadn’t teased her into doing it. Let this be a lesson to you people, teasing your partner can lead to serious consequences. You’re wondering what I teased her into doing, aren’t you? It’s the 101 things in 1001 days list. She made one. Finally. And no you can’t see it because it’s private. Well it isn’t really private it just isn’t completely public. If you are dying to know what’s on her 101 things list, then I’ll tell you in private because like I said, it isn’t completely public. (Hell would you make your list public if it had stuff on it like "brush my hair before work everyday for 2 weeks"?)
Anyway, she made her damn list and besides that brushing hair thing and some really frightening items related to cosmetics and giving up coke, she put walking on her list. Walking everyday. For a month. Around the block. Twice a day. Everyday. For. A. Month. She’s been talking about this whole walking everyday thing for an entire freaking year. I have just smiled and nodded my head, knowing she would never actually do this because, well, she doesn’t exercise. It isn’t her thing.
Apparently hell froze over yesterday because I joined her on the first walk. I strapped on (get your mind out of the gutter, people!) the pedometer and joined her like a good and dutiful girlfriend. I complained the entire .21 miles and 10 minutes. I felt like Prince J, I complained so much!
Five minutes after finishing a very large dinner of hoppin john and greens, she started putting on her sneakers again. What! We have to walk again? Tonight? In the dark? Damn, she’s serious about this list. So I make her wait til I finish my chapter and I join her with the pedometer and again, I complained. All of the way.
She tried to reassure me that this would get "easier" – umm easier? It’s already easy, that’s the problem. There is no challenge. It is boring and a waste of time. If it gets any easier … Then she tried to say it would get more relaxing. Huh? Walking is relaxing? Oooooooook, I would like to know what drugs Dr W slipped her that I don’t know about. Because walking isn’t relaxing. It’s just plain boring.
Well guess what. This morning at 7am, we were out there again. Walking. In the dark. In the cold (it was only 58 degrees!) And apparently we are going to walk again this evening. Can you believe it? The woman who never follows through and really doesn’t DO exercise is going to walk again. Geez. Can’t she follow through on spraying febreeze and scratching that off the chore chart everyday instead?
So, Nuthinfancy is addicted to routine. More specifically, she is addicted to the routine of cupcake toppers on Friday. Well heaven forbid I screw with her routine! Since I was in the process of reserving a hotel room in a prison when she emailed me to gripe about the lack of cupcake toppers, might I suggest miniature ball and chains? Or better yet, get your own prison hotel room and act out some hot cop fantasies with these miniature handcuffs topping your cupcakes.
