Michelle is home. 😉 We know this not just by the scent of popcorn or the music playing behind me while I work or the phone ringing late into the evening. We know this because the drama has begun.
While Michelle was in NJ, she was skateboarding and “hurt her knee”. No big deal, certainly not as big a deal as her Scarlet Fever issue. She came home and didn’t do anymore than the normal Michelle whining about her knee thrown in with the normal Michelle whining about her back, (she is sure she has Scoliosis, thank you school nurses around the world), and I am so use to her whining that I rarely listen.
I’m a bad mom. I’m not all that compassionate in general, except when I’m at work. I’m really not very compassionate when it comes to Michelle and her health dramas. I can totally understand the woman I heard on the radio the other day whose son flunked an eye test at school and she thought he was faking so she sent him to his room without dinner… he turned out to be blind in one eye. Anyway, that’s what life is like here. Michelle is “sick” or “injured” and I only half listen.
So the other day, Michelle was skateboarding here and she came in saying she “hurt her achilles tendon”. OK, let me see… no swelling so stay off of it and would you like some tylenol? Fast forward a few days and she’s limping down the stairs. I ask her what’s wrong, oh remember I hurt my achilles tendon. Ummm Ok, let me see… no swelling, stay off of it, would you like some tylenol?
I head back to the bedroom and hear her at the door asking if we have any crutches. I say no and then quickly say yes, we do from when TW’s sister broke her ankle a couple of years ago… they’re ummm in the garage. Michelle limps off as I chuckle.
A moment later, she’s back. Umm where in the garage. I chuckle some more. TW says last time she’s seen them they were near the workbench. I am really chuckling at this point because there is no way that kid will know where the workbench is – no work has ever been done on it, she may have never even SEEN it. I jump in and say no, I think they are near the bedframes and mattresses. Michelle asks where the workbench is and where the bedframes are. I explain the bedframes are behind the freezer. TW attempts to explain the workbench by telling her what it looks like. Hahaha, you can’t see what it looks like – it’s on the other side of the washer and dryer.
I’m still chuckling and continue to read my blog feeds when we hear a crash in the garage. Hahaha. Moments later we hear Michelle making some high pitched whiney noises and the garage door open and close. Michelle mumbling, high pitched moans. TW says – Is she crying?
I say umm, I dunno, maybe and I keep typing whatever it was I was typing.
TW says – well could you go check?
I say ummm sure, in a minute. (see, I’m a bad mom)
I head into the office where Michelle is mumbling and making these weird whiney moans. I ask her if she’s ok. I ask if she found the cruthes. She moans. She shivers.
I am not going in there ever again. Roaches. Dead roaches. Behind the freezer. Millions of them. (moaning, whining, horrible cringing, shivering accompanied this)
I tried not to laugh. Really I swear I did. I couldn’t help it.
Michelle, honey. Those aren’t roaches. They are… pecans. They’ve been back there for a year. The cats knocked the bag off of the freezer and the dogs ripped open the bag and snack on them whenever they can’t find kitty litter crunchies to nibble on.
She keeps shivering, keeps moaning. She hasn’t found the crutches yet. 😉