I’m going to share a really important Denise Rule with all of you folks. That rule is: Do not read your kid’s My Space, Live Journal, Xanga, [insert blog platform of choice]. That rule has a sub-rule that reads: Do not read the My Space, Live Journal, Xanga, [insert blog platform of choic] that belong to the friends of your kid, either. I’ve had this rule for a very long time and it has served me well. It will serve you well, too. I promise it will.
USA Today ran a nice little article about teens and blogging/journaling. It seems a lot of parents are surprised at what they’ve found when reading their children’s “blogs”. And once they’ve read the blogs, they don’t know what to do about it.
Hellooooo folks, if you are surprised by what your kids are writing in their blogs then you aren’t paying attention to your kids or you are in denial about your kids. That’s not the fault of My Space, Live Journal, Xanga, or [insert blog platform of choice], that’s YOUR fault.
Would your parents have been surprised by what YOU wrote in YOUR paper diary/journal when you were 15? Would they have been shocked at the words you used when interacting with your peers, away from prying parental eyes? Would they have been appalled at the things you did behind closed doors, while someone’s parents were out of town? If they would have been, then they weren’t paying attention either. Maybe it is an inherited trait?
I do not read my children’s journals, paper or online, and I’m rarely surprised at what they do or say. I don’t read their friends journals and I’m pretty good at knowing who the problem kids are and what their problems are. I do not read my children’s blogs and they have been known to simply carry on conversations with me regarding their friends’ blogs because they realize I already know what goes on in the world of teens and young adults and I’m not naive enough to think that they are immune to the dark side.
I cannot believe there are adults using the excuse “They put this stuff up for strangers to read so why are they upset when their family reads it?” as a valid reason for reading a blog without permission. Your children would not want you following them to the prom and lurking behind fake palm trees and crepe paper to see what they are doing, even though they are out in PUBLIC, would they?
The world has changed, mommies and daddies, and it is time to change with it. There are things that you (or people just like you) put up in a public forums everyday and you consider them private and anonymous, even though you are looking for answers and feedback and support from perfect strangers. I spend 12 hours a day reading message board posts from adults who would definitely NOT post half of the messages they post if they thought someone they knew was reading over their shoulder. Our children are doing exactly what adults have been doing ever since listserv and bulletin boards began.
Give your kids some publishing space and pay attention to what is going on in the world around you, and around them. If they trust you, they’ll tell you in one way or another what they’re writing and reading and who they are talking to out there in the blogosphere. And if you’re paying attention, you won’t be the least bit surprised by what you hear.
Technorati Tags: livejournal, xanga, myspace, teens, blogging, privacy