Reading in June

Lol. This is getting ridiculous.

I read three books in June. THREE. THREE. How can that even be possible? Remember when 13 was a not great month for me? Whatever, I’m going to have a better reading month in July. Seriously.

1 was an aduiobook
1 was non-fiction
1 was HORROR

(Interestingly, two of the three books were written by blogger friends. Funny how that worked out.)

Vicki Beautiful

My friend Somer wrote a book. It’s horror, which makes sense because Somer loves to be scared and loves to scare people. I also enjoy reading horror novels so I was extra excited to buy Vicki Beautiful.

Until chapter two.

Good grief, Somer! Did you have to go there? REALLY? That was the most horribly awesome chapter, EVER.

It was so horribly awesome that I wasn’t sure I could continue. But I did — and then I couldn’t stop reading because OMG, really? REALLY???? NO WAY! OMG.

And as I got closer and closer to the end, I was more and more afraid about what was going to happen at the end.

Yep. That’s what I thought would happen.

OMG, Somer. REALLY?????

Totally awesome but shudder. It still makes me queasy just thinking about it.


I wrote this a long time ago, on BlogHer, and since the formatting is broken and the content type isn’t one that’s used any longer, I decided to republish it here. People still ask about the history of “#fakecat” and “#fakehusband” and it’s so much faster to just point them to a post than to try and explain it.”

Lots of people are wondering why @sassymonkey’s husband is called the fake husband (or #fakehusband, since hashtags became a thing.) Since I’m the one who started this madness, I should be the one to explain it.

It’s a long and complicated story and it’s a bit of a joke. It’s also not something you should feel left out for not knowing. So, now you’re going to know.

Way back, years and years ago, @sassymonkey started talking about a cat. Her cat. Her cat named Piper. She talked about this cat constantly. She was beginning to sound like a crazy cat kid (not lady because lord, she was young back then.) She talked about this cat on message boards, on blogs, and possibly in chat rooms.

Some of us (me) asked to see photos of this cat that we heard so much about. No photos appeared. No photos appeared. No photos appeared. Thus… fake cat. She was LYING about this cat just because, well, just because people online sometimes lie about stuff. I know, shocking, right?

Finally, after YEARS and YEARS of hearing about this fake cat, she produced a picture or two. Well ya know, anyone can find a picture or two of a cat. We (I) was sure this was just some fake cat she’d made up and found photos of. No matter that she has since produced dozens and hundreds of pictures of aforementioned fake cat, and some video. The cat remains fake. Once fake – always fake.

Flash forward a few years and suddenly, @sassymonkey starts spewing stories about going away. On vacation. To foreign countries that aren’t Canada or the US with some man. Named “L”… who eventually became “Lee.”

Well ya know, people make this stuff up all of the time on the internets. And who in their right mind goes on vacation, to foreign countries, with a man named Lee who she’d never met before the day she told us about this trip? Because lord knows, if she had not told us (me!) about this man before announcing this trip, he was not freaking real.

Again, she is making this stuff UP. No matter that there were photos of @sassymonkey with a man in foreign countries. You can get a guy to do anything, pretty easily, when you’re a woman like @sassymonkey (or any woman actually.) So… this man, obviously a FAKE boyfriend.

And when they bowed to the freaking patriarchy and tried to kill me… he became the FAKE husband (#fakehusband.) And so he shall remain. Once a fake, always a fake. If she starts spouting stories about fake kids… well that might really kill me. But they’ll always be fake, no doubt about it.

Home is Where My People Are

Look! I finished a book! It took forever, which is ridiculous because Home is Where My People Are should have been a quick read, just like reading through the archives of a blog — because that’s pretty much what the book felt like. (Probably because I read BooMama’s blog for years and years.) But, my life is still not “normal” — did you know I have a new grandson? And, a new house? And, we’re having a housewarming party? And, and, and…

Anyway, I enjoyed Sophie’s book. This might surprised you because I’m not a religious person AT ALL but I do enjoy a good memoir. I sure wish our library had this in large print because I do believe TW’s mom would love Sophie. Maybe I’ll buy it for her for her Kindle. Yea, I’ll do that. Someone remind me.

Hyacinth Girls

We were in desperate need of audiobooks after we got to Florida so I just plucked one randomly from the shelf. Hyacinth Girls.

Oh boy, depressing.

Teen girls, man. Teen girls. And, teens in general.

Reading in May

Just when I think it can’t get any worse, it does.

I read six books in May, which is a lie since one of those books I actually read in April and didn’t blog it in time for the end of month recap. Another one of those books we listened to on audio and had about half of the last disc to go before the end. So, yea. Reading in May sucked as much as all of the other months — probably more since one of the books this month was really crummy and I should have just quit it.

I cannot wait to get into more of a normal routine so that I can start reserving books at the library that I actually want to read rather than just grabbing any old thing from the shelves at our libraries.

Total: 6

1 audiobook
1 Cybil Challenge
1 Ya
1 Middle grade fiction
1 non-fiction

The Photographer’s Wife

I should have quit The Photographer’s Wife. I didn’t care about a single one of the characters. It moved so darn slowly that I just couldn’t stick with it for more than a chapter at a time. Ho hum.


When it was time to leave Chicagoland, we were on the last disc of the audio version of Dumplin’. Grrr. So frustrating, particularly since it wasn’t available on Overdrive or Hoopla. HMPH.

But, we got lucky because the first thing I did when I picked up my Alachua County Library card was to head for the audiobooks and guess what was there waiting for us? DUMPLIN’!


We finished it today. It was awfully cute but it kept giving me Dolly Parton earworms. (Also, I would have liked to know who won, darn it.) And, I’ll be honest and say that I didn’t expect the Willowdean in the beginning of the book to be the Willowdean in the middle of the book. And, I can’t decide if that’s good or not good.

I really don’t like it when teenagers have their acts TOO much together. It doesn’t ring true. So when the book started and Willowdean had her act together, I was skeptical. And for awhile there, I thought maybe the shift that seemed to occur was too big of a shift. But, as I thought more about it – it made more sense to me that she would have started to struggle more, or admit the struggle, with her body image as she got older, had to deal with changes in her friendships, relationships with boys, and the loss of her aunt. Makes total sense. I think.

The Forever War

Remember when I said we didn’t have any books because they’re all in boxes and because we didn’t have library cards? And also that TW bought some books at Wild Iris on Independent Bookstore Day? Well one of the books she bought was The Forever War which is amusing because I’m pretty sure we already own it. I also highly supported the purchase since Unca Joe was at Wild Iris to sign books and now we have a signed copy. Woot!

So TW immediately started reading it because she was desperate for books and because Unca Joe, obviously.

When I finished with a couple of books, it was my turn to reach for The Forever War at which point TW said, “Why are you reading that, you won’t like it.”

Yes, she actually said that.

My response was to remind her that I’ve already read it before and her response was that I still wouldn’t like it.

It’s at moments like this that I have to question why it is that we live together. I mean really? I’ve read it before. It’s Unca Joe. It’s THE gd FOREVER WAR. You’re really going to tell me I won’t like it? Whatever. (And I’m still rolling my eyes almost a week after she said this. I’m rolling my eyes so hard that I now I have a headache.)

So anyway. I re-read The Forever War and thoroughly enjoyed it.

Except, I don’t really like Science Fiction hahahaha, and this means that when there’s a lot of stuff about physics and math and shit that makes absolutely NO sense to me and can cause me to question why in the hell I’m reading this damn book… I skim ahead. Because while I can suspend disbelief and enjoy the make-believedness of Fantasy, I can’t quite do that with SciFi because of the damn math/science. Because math/science is real and yet the kind of advanced math/science/lord-help-me-physics that’s in SciFi just freaks me the hell out.

Which is probably why TW tried to tell me I wouldn’t like The Forever War.

She was wrong, obviously, because I totes did. I was really glad to have re-read it since it’s probably been 25 or 30 years since I first read it. But, she’s right — I don’t like SciFi. (lol)

PS. Joe Haldeman can really write. Seriously. If you don’t like SciFi either, you should still read this because really – the writing is stellar.

Memories Flow in Our Veins: Forty Years of Women’s Writing from CALYX

TW bought Memories Flow in Our Veins: Forty Years of Women’s Writing from CALYX at Wild Iris on Independent Bookstore Day. Thank goodness because, as I previously mentioned, we had no books to read. Heh.

I really enjoyed this collection. The poetry was particularly good.