Day to Day

Daily Dose of Contradictions – Easter

I am difficult to predict.  I’m one small contradiction after another.  I’m nuts.  Ask anyone around here, they will tell you this is true.  Oh don’t bother asking them, I’ll give you two Easter examples and you’ll see for yourself.

I am really not into the whole Christian Easter thing.  Oh sure, I wake up ever Easter morning and say "He is risen" or post it on my private message board and I expect the children to know the proper response and to give it simply because it is Easter.  But I’m not a Christian so I don’t really believe all of that crucifixion/resurrection thing except as a cool story that’s evolved from some really basic facts.  That’s pretty much how I feel about all holidays. 

Knowing this, you’d think I’d be comfortable attending the UU Fellowship on Easter.  Instead, I really hate the UU on Easter.  I hate it on Christmas too.  But mostly on Easter.  I hate it because I think it is ridiculous that UU ministers talk about how difficult this sermon is for them to preach.  I hate it because I think it is ridiculous that a UU congregation that prides itself on its open-mindedness and its ability to embrace all beliefs would feel uncomfortable with the preaching of the Easter story in a more traditional sense.  What exactly are UUs afraid of that they can’t handle sitting through an hour service with a minister telling the Easter story as Christians around the world are hearing it?  Sheesh.

See – a contradiction.  I’m not a Christian but I would rather hear a Christian Easter service than the tripe tossed out by UU ministers.  (I will say that the Reverend Louise, who I generally dislike, made a good attempt at it today – and her sniffling through the sermon was sort of touching.  She should have gone all out and given a good solid telling of Easter instead, though.)

Fast forward several hours to Easter dinner… TW asked the children what they thought my favorite part of Easter might be.  E said "eggs benedict".  Ha! no!  TW explained that I do not eat eggs benedict as I stood in the kitchen giggling.  (this revelation was just more fuel to the Denise is evil fire that we like to feed them)  RJ suggested candy would be my favorite thing.  Umm no, more giggling from me in the kitchen.  TW said "Denise’s favorite part of Easter is the ham".  Prince J said "Denise doesn’t eat ham, she’s a vegetarian"… I stepped around the corner with my plate… which did include ham.  I showed it to Prince J and he just stared.  RJ said "HUH?"

I explained that I do, in fact, eat ham on Easter.  I can’t help it.  Just like I can’t help eating a bit of turkey at Thanksgiving, the occasional horrible cheeseburger from McDonald’s and a Beef n Cheddar once in awhile on a road trip. Another contradiction. 

I do love keeping people guessing but then I have been known to rant about how little people really know about me… (ack, a third contradiction I wasn’t going to share right now.  Oh well, consider it a bonus.)

He is risen… and ham is good.

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Daily Dose of Inspiration – Starbucks

Remember when I was griping about Starbucks and their "The Way I See It" cups #52 and #60?  We only get those cups every once in awhile so now I’m here to gripe about one of the new cups.  Actually I’m not going to gripe about it, I had been planning to do so but now I can’t.  (I don’t think I can even make fun of the cup or wonder aloud about the person who can make the statement on cup #74 with a straight face.)

I can’t gripe about it because I think I almost understand it and I think maybe I am a believer in the wisdom of cup #74

In a time when even our soil and air might not know the truth, the only solace we can take in decision-making about our inner peace is through honest, organic and sustainable farming.

That makes you want to laugh, doesn’t it?  I mean really, who talks that way?  The soil and air might not know the truth?  Ummm I’m all for pagan earth worthip and treehugging but isn’t that a little much?  NO of course not!  Because I get it!  We picked up our weekly supply of fruit and veggies  from a local organic farm group today and it was cool! and fun! and interesting!  and we know the truth!  Even if the air and soil don’t!

Honest! Organic! Sustainable Farming!  Yes!  I’m a believer!

I don’t know the name of the person who picks my peas.  It’s ok though because I don’t have grandchildren yet – I do, however, know Don’s name and phone number and I’m sure my children feel better because of it.

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Daily Dose of Charleston – Confusion

So we went to Charleston last weekend.  I was tempted to say "home to Charleston" but since it’s only me who considers Charleston "home" I resisted the urge.  I wonder if there will come a time when I don’t feel the urge to say "home to Charleston"?  I haven’t actually lived there for a gazillion years, (I hate the word gazillion and am only saying it because of RJ, which is another post so remind me to talk about that another day), and everytime I go "home" it looks less and less like "home".

I did successfully avoid the "bridges" for the most part.  The new bridge jumped into my line of vision at the Meeting St off ramp that looks so incredibly not like "home" that I almost drove off of the ramp because the traffic pattern was so wrong but other than that I avoided seeing any potentially heart breaking changes over there.  My mom found the book I had to have and I bought it in the Millenium Music Store – which is another building so not like "home" thatthe only reason I can go in is  because all of King Street looks so bloody different I can sort of pretend it didn’t exist at all when I was a kid and was just dropped into place after I moved away.  The book is a tiny flippy photo book of a "white car" driving across the Grace.  I love it.  I love that my mom saw it and chased me down across the store to tell me I needed it.  You can see the flippy book in action – go look! (click the books!)

Another incredibly not like home experience was driving through the Charleston Naval Shipyard.  OMG.  I have not been on the Navy Base since before I got married.  How run down.  How different.  How amazing.  I can’t begin to describe the differences or the sameness.  Unless you’ve experienced the Charleston Naval Shipyard in all it’s glory, unless driving through it in the 70’s felt normal and routine, there is just no way to explain the feeling of driving through it now for the first time.  My mom had not been back since then either so she is probably the only one I know who understands just what that was like.

Since I’m talking about this trip "home" I might as well talk about the &%$# airshow.  It was air show weekend and Jenn lives on the airbase.  What horrible timing I have.  There is not a worse weekend to be on an air force base than air show weekend and I can say that last weekend was the worse air show experience I have had in my entire life of air shows – and there have been dozens and dozens, at a half dozen air force bases around the world.  What idiots create a traffic plan to get civillians, military members and military family members TO the airshow but never stop to think that SOME military members and military family members might want to NOT attend the airshow? Or more importantly, that someone might actually want to LEAVE the base at 9am and NOT attend the airshow?  There is nothing more ridiculous than routing people from military family housing TO the airshow parking in order to get them OFF of the base – and then discovering that once you get them to the airshow there isn’t actually a plan to get them OFF of the base.  There’s nothing worse than talking to nice airmen at checkpoints at each corner of the base only to be told something totally different and usually completely opposite from what you were told at the previous checkpoint.  Whoever planned the airshow at Charleston Air Force Base this year should be given an Article 15.  Someone take care of that, please.

On the otherhand, the reservists manning the Pass and ID desk in BLDG 51 on Friday were awesome people.  Thanks for covering for the active duty pukes who blew off their Friday and left you holding the bag.  I appreciate it.

Another positive experience, though other members of my family may disagree, was the discovery of a new restaurant in North Charleston – Sesame (corner of Montague and Spruill – same side of the street as NCHS but right before the railroad tracks, off to the right – for those of you who may attempt to find it).  When I say new I really mean new – it was in its first week of business, I believe.  A rundown looking little concrete block building with a ton of vegetarian options on the menu – and when I say a ton, I mean a ton.  TW and I split a total of 6 different types of "mini" black bean burgers.  We tried three different appetizers (the onion rings, the bruschetta and the wings – the wings weren’t vegetarian) and all three were very good.  The sweet potato fries were possibly the best I’ve ever had.  These folks make their own mustard, ketchup and mayo and TW was in love with the ketchup – which is weird because she hates ketchup.  My girls were making strange moaning noises over their brownie sundae and the lemon iced blondie was reported to be ok but not as good as the brownie.  (Desserts are made by the folks at Five Loaves) There was some not so good stuff that happened during our dinner – a ticket mix up caused the bulk of our party (everyone except me and TW) to have to wait a good 30 minutes extra for their meal.  Then the medium to medium well burgers were not actually cooked to medium/medium well.  My sil ordered the "mini burger sampler" and got 2 of the burgers she ordered but the 3rd one was not the type she ordered.  The manager did remove her meal from the bill and gave her a free dessert, without prompting to do so.  If you visit this restaurant – order your burgers well done or order the black bean burgers instead.  Try the South Carolina burger, it has homemade pimento cheese on top! 

One other Charleston thought – don’t go to the Crap Crab Shack on Dorchester (heading toward Summerville it’s on the right, just past Ashley Phosphate).  We’ve been there twice and nobody except my sister in law and my son in law like it.  (If you do go, order the red potatoes and ask for some of the dipping sauce for the fried green tomatoes to go with – it’s the only thing I’ve found worth ordering).

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Daily Dose of Work – Freebies

Work? For free? – aka volunteering?  Mark Glazer wants to know why you and I "work for free".  It’s a "nagging question" for him. 

Is this such a difficult concept to grasp? Couldn’t you make a list of 100 reasons people volunteer their time, effort and knowledge?  Or am I wrong?  Is it hard for you to figure out why AOL had more volunteers than it knew what to do with? Or why iVillage still has a million volunteer CLs even though iVillage is less than good to its volunteers?  Or why you can’t throw a stone in a suburban neighborhood without hitting a PTA mommy? Or why you can’t wander through a big city without bumping into a soup kitchen volunteer?  Or why women are happily contributing blog posts to Blogher? 

I wonder if people who don’t have a strong history of volunteerism are the ones who have the biggest problem understanding the work for free  concept.

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Daily Dose of Hate – Money

Don’t ask me why I am reading I will teach you to be rich, I can’t answer that question anymore than I could have answered it when I was reading Hello Dollar.  Maybe I can answer it.  Now that I think about it.  I think I am reading it (and read Hello Dollar before it) because it’s almost normal to do so and I have hope that I won’t always hate thinking about money, talking about money, moving money around and spending money.  Being rich is not my thing, paying my bills is my thing and that’s pretty much where I draw the line.  If I’ve got more money around than that, then I give it away. 

Where was I?  Oh yea I was here and trying to come up with things I hate spending money on – like a normal person.  The answer everything is not normal, right?  So I read the post and the comments and then the follow up post and comments.  And I saved both as new and released them and went back and grabbed them and saved them as new and then released them again.  See, even reading blogs about money makes me more nuts than I already am!  What do I hate spending money on?  Here’s my list, and it’s making me nervous to even begin to type it.  Not as nervous as that 101 things list but close….

1) Healthcare.  After 41 years of not paying for healthcare, of never paying for a prescription and of buying over the counter medications only rarely, I still can’t get use to paying for healthcare.  Either the insurance payments or the copays.  Michelle and Chris’s copays I pretty much have gotten use to but my own and TW’s – those make no sense.  I am always surprised by something that either is or isn’t covered and in my head any RX copay should be $9, that’s the Tricare way and I’m finally use to that.  Avmed and Blue Cross should both follow along, it’s the only thing Tricare seems to do right.

2) "Well Car Check-ups".  These make absolutely no sense to me at all.  I hate them, hate spending money on them and have finally, after the last one, refused to ever participate in them again.  Ever.  For any reason.

3) Parking.  I hate paying for parking whether it is a parking meter or a parking garage or airport parking or a field across from a concert. 

4) Service charges when buying tickets or services online.  $3.95 service charge at Gatorfood.  $7.50 at Ticketmaster.  $2 at  Fandango.  Blah. 

And there you go.  My list.  Kind of boring.  I could have talked about how I hate spending money on food and stuff like that but that would scare you, some of you more than others but still probably not a good to scare you for no good reason, right?

What’s on your list?  Weird stuff like food or normal stuff like parking?

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Daily Dose of Advice – Underwear

The only advice I can really give you about underwear is don’t bother wearing it.  I know that doesn’t work for a lot of you and that’s ok.  Maybe in your next life you will have seen the light and found the freedom but until then, I support you.  And because I support you I’m going to send you to my friend the sassymonkey.  She understands underwear and she has ALMOST convinced me that I need to rush out to pantie shop.  That ALMOST convinced me thing is huge!  I don’t do underwear and I do not shop.  That tells you just how GOOD she is with the underwear talk.  And, I know from experience, she knows how to give panties as gifts, too.

Where was I? OH yea, Sassymonkey and underwear, go over there and learn from the mistress.  Just don’t let her get you into trouble.  Along with wisdom beyond her years, she likes to cause a stir… odd, since she’s Canadian… 😉

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Daily Dose of Health – Review

It’s time for a little review, folks.  Feel free to share this with your dumber family members and friends.  Like if you have a brother who is 38 and hard headed and married to a really very nice woman who may not always make really good decisions, that’s a good person to share this review with.  Right now.  Before it’s too late.

If you’re playing hockey and it’s the 1st period and you start feeling these things:

  • Shortness of breath
  • Tightness in the chest
  • Really tired and weak arms
  • Blurred Vision
  • Racing heart
  • You should leave the game immediately, not in the 2nd period when you collapse.  You should go to the emergency room immediately.  Got that?  Go. To. The. Emergency. Room.  If it’s your husband who is 38 and in pretty decent health and not a hypochondriac who loves hockey more than, well, more than anything and he leaves the game in the second period because he has shortness of breath, tightness in the chest, really tired and weak arms, blurred vision and racing heart… Take. Him. To. The. Emergency. Room. Right. Now.  Do not suggest he go home because the ER wait will be long and he can just see his doctor in the morning.

    Got that?  Make sense?

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    Daily Dose of Kids – Paint

    My father and I have something in common, we both hate to paint.  We both agree that the best part of living in military housing is the fact that we can tell our spouses or children – sorry, you can’t paint the walls because the military won’t let you.  I spent 20 years not having to paint bedrooms by simply using that nice little excuse.  Once, I violated those rules and allowed Jenn to put wallpaper border on her walls and then lived to regret it when the time came to strip those walls and get everything back up to "standards". 

    Jenn lives in military housing with her husband, and has since she got married.  She ignored those rules and stenciled and painted and wallpapered up her military housing in NJ.  And then had to repaint everything military off white before she moved to Charleston.  You’d think she would have learned her lesson but no, she hasn’t.  She’s painted and stenciled and wallpapered up her new house.  We always use to tease her about being adopted – this is one of those reasons.  Neither the dirtbag or I would ever do that much work on a house that had to be repainted military off white in a few years.

    So why am I doing it now, in a rental unit??  Letting these kids choose these incredibly dark colors?  Michelle had a mural on her wall for a couple of years that was every primary color plus black.  Her bedroom door is still a combo of black and red.  Now she’s got that deep teal green color, E has a light but incredibly bright blue and RJ has hit somewhere in the middle with a cross between the lighter blue and the deep teal.  And I’m exhausted.

    Paint
    E, RJ and I began painting around 10:30am.  After RJ and I spent an hour taping baseboards and frames.  Within 3 minutes of our project, E had decided sitting on the paint can lid was a good idea.  Then she stepped on it.  They both kicked the drop cloth so there was no drop cloth anywhere near the walls.  They rolled over the tape and onto the baseboard and frame.  No big deal.  Didn’t bother me at all.  But when RJ wiped up an "over-roll" as we call it with a rag we had used to wipe down filthy walls, I got a little tense.  When I looked down and saw she had dropped the filthy rag into the paint tray full of paint, I decided we all needed a break.  I took five.  The girls took the rest of the day.  And the half child wandered in just when I thought I might disinigrate into dust (there goes the plastination was what I was thinking). 

    The boy took over the top half of the room while I worked the bottom.  Within half an hour it was DONE.  (Except clean up, I am always in charge of cleanup). 

    Now we’ve got to deal with some spray painting of bookshelves this week, tracking down a dresser that will fit in her closet because she isn’t willing to get rid of any of her three bookshelves (or maybe an under the bed storage thing would work??) and get that painted her weird perriwinkle color.  Oh and she needs a desk chair.  I’m thinking she needs to paint one herself – an unfinished wooden chair that she can paint a seascape on or something would be fun for her. 

    Now Prince J needs to choose his color and I need a couple of months to recuperate. 

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    Daily Dose of Death – Bodies – Museums

    I guess you know that we went to Tampa last weekend, right?  I didn’t forget to mention it?  Oh good.  It wasn’t all late nights in bars with a lot of dykes and cool stuff like that, it was educational too.  (Not that late nights in bars with a lot of dykes isn’t educational, because it definitely is.  Michelle always learns a lot about how NOT to behave, about why it’s NOT good to get falling down drunk and then there are all of the lessons you can learn by visiting bathrooms with drunk people – those are serious educational moments, important to every teenage girl’s growth and development)  Where was I?  Oh yea, educational.  Right.  OK fine, I cannot tell a lie.  The trip wasn’t about education at all.  It was pure selfishness on my part.  Any lessons learned or knowledge absorbed was purely accidental. 

    The trip to MOSI was for me.  Not for Michelle.  Surely not for TW, she’s been there before.  Seeing the Bodies exhibit was for me.  Because I want to be plastinated or plasticized or whatever the process is called when I die.  I do.  I’m not kidding.  I never joke about death.  OK fine, I do joke about death but in this case I’m not joking.

    We read Stiff last year and it was then that I decided that this was what I wanted to do, or have done, after I die.  No cremation, I want to donate my body to a plastination exhibit.  There’s a problem though, according to the Stiff book, when you donate your body you don’t always get to decide how it’s actually used.  So I have to figure out how to make sure that I’m not donated to a forensic school and left out in a field somewhere.  (the little kids found this idea fascinating over the summer – because I made the mistake of telling them about dead bodies and flatulence and stuff but it’s not my idea of a good time so no – that is not what I want to happen to my body when I’m dead)

    OK so now that you know WHY we went to MOSI to see Bodies, I’ll tell you about the actual exhibit. 

    It was cool.  Smaller than I expected but cool.  As I expected, by the second room Michelle was feeling "ill".  Hypochondria is alive and well.  Though I suspect there are a lot of people who begin to feel ill or at least feel their "bodies" a little bit more while at that exhibit.  She really didn’t like the blood room aka the circulatory system room.  I, however, thought that was pretty cool.  I have a thing for blood though. 

    Here are some things that bugged me about the exhibit.  First, lack of female bodies.  Do women not donate their bodies to this?  Is it not done, for some reason?  The bodies were overwhelmingly male.  Next issue, almost all of the bodies had black lungs.  Does this mean that the only reason people die is because they have lung cancer and/or are smokers?  By the 5th black lunged body I was feeling like I was in some stop smoking organization’s propaganda website.  Weird.

    And somehow Michelle and I missed the plasticized fetus room, I blame a weird woman who decided to tell everyone that her urethra is smaller than the normal urethra – at first I thought she was talking about her clitoris but no, it was her urethra and I got distracted.  I should have gone back inside to see it but by the time TW informed me that I’d missed it, we were upstairs and pining away for the bicycle high wire thing and it felt like too much work to go back down and explain my predicament to the weird guy (who reminded me of Kirk on GG) so I could go back in.   Oh well, another time maybe.

    Now about the woman with the smaller than normal urethra – what is it about that exhibit that made people feel like they needed to share their health history with everyone in the room?  Or the health history of their great aunt ____ who had ____ and this is what it must have looked like? 

    What was also a little scarey were people who don’t have any idea about anatomy or how things work.  People in awe that the stomach was that small or the intestines that large.  Or the fallopian tubes, 50 year old men and women should both know what the fallopian tubes do.  You people scare me! 

    The best best best question I heard while in the exhibit was from a child, probably around 7 or 8.  "Mama, why aren’t there any children?"  The look on mom’s face as she tried to come up with an answer was good.  I wish I knew what she said.  I hope she gave her a good answer.  Not an "I don’t know" or "They don’t do that to kids" or "Kids don’t die" sort of answer.  A real answer.  The kid deserved it.

    Oh and to the woman in the wheelchair who pushed her way through the folks enjoying various displays, your disability does not give you the right to be rude.  Nobody barred your way, nobody pushed past you to get to the exhibit first – they were there before you and when they moved to the next one it would have been YOUR turn.  Quit it.  That behavior is unnecessary and not appreciated.

    Cool exhibit.  Knowledge was gained, totally on accident of course.  And now Michelle has a real idea about what will happen to dear old mom when she’s dead.

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    Daily Dose of Stuff – Meme

    Like Lee, I’m late with my What’s This Doing in My House Monday.  Weird since I’ve been planning this since last Monday!  (Michelle thinks I should put a photo of the 1/2 child up here with "What is THIS doing in MY house" but you all know why he is here, right?)

    Anyway here is my submission… anyone care to guess what this is….or who these people are?

    Stuff

    Photo on the left, my ex g/f.  Her photo sits in the living room on the second shelf with other family photos.  The photo on the right  is my ex g/f’s children and her niece and nephew.  For almost a year that photo was in the living room, on the dresser next to TW’s side of the bed.  Now it is in the bedroom on the cubby next to my side of the bed.

    Do you have photos of your ex and his/her children around?  Relatively common if you share children, but the almighty and I share no children and still I keep the photos on display…

    Do you have a "What is this doing in my house" entry to share?

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