Winging It: A Memoir of Caring for a Vengeful Parrot Who’s Determined to Kill Me

Several months ago, I went to BlogHer Belmont to have some fun get some work done with my co-workers. When I arrived, Lisa Stone handed me a mailing envelope with a book inside that she thought I should read. I laughed and made sure it made it into my suitcase home. When I got home, I opened it up and as soon as I saw the cover… I laughed too.

Lyra aka Gaknar (The Fear Demon) is famous at BlogHer Belmont for her shrieks during my phone calls. She has always particularly appreciated the voice of Lisa Stone. She’s also famous because I so often rant about her and publicly wish her dead. Which is obviously an exaggeration. If I really wanted her dead, she would be dead.

I finally found some time to read Winging It and it was funny and familiar and frightening, all at the same time.

What in the hell was Jenny Gardiner thinking? What was her family thinking? Why wasn’t someone there who could step in and say ENOUGH – this is not healthy for your, your family or the animals you keep bringing into your lives.

Because it wasn’t just Graycie the African Grey who was a troubled pet, it was more than half of the other pets they brought into their home as well. Not to mention one family disaster after another. Not to mention Pierre the French Exchange Student.

Does Jenny Gardiner have a blog because, dude, hers would be one of those trainwrecky types where you cannot really believe that so much can happen to one family, the type where you’re in the background saying NO, DO NOT DO THAT and judging the blogger for making such horrendous decisions, the type where in the end you keep reading because you recognize yourself and your own bad choices and your own ability to get through it, stick with it, and come out the otherside willing to give a parrot who wants to kill you hydrotherapy three times a day for what seems like the rest of your life while taking care of three children under 5, a dog who is allergic to everything (literally) and your own Lyme disease.

I can’t decide if I wish I’d read this book during the first week Lyra aka Gaknar came to live with us. It certainly would have made us less freaked out the day we found the big feather in the bottom of the cage and SOMEONE was sure it was a blood feather and she would bleed to death. Hah. It also would have been easier when Lyra aka Gaknar lost a bunch of weight and we were sure she was going to die any second.

Then again, if I’d have thought I would wind up with a bird who needed anywhere near as much care as Graycie – or was as messy – or as evil… I think I would have had to move out. Or make the bird move out.

After my family finishes reading this, I’ll be sending it back to BlogHer Belmont for Superwoman aka Miriam – it’s sad just how many of the BlogHer Belmont staff have wished a bird dead….

This is also my first book in this year’s From the Stacks challenge – it’s red (with the jacket on.)

Posted via email from Life. Flow. Fluctuate.