It’s wrong of me to sit here thinking about how I might convince Duncan to bark. Just once. But I’ll admit it. I’ve thought about trying it (sort of how you might think of ways to corrupt an angelic three year old by teaching her to say bullshit…) A dog that doesn’t bark is weird. Don’t get me wrong, I like it. I like it a lot. I’d like it better if I knew she could bark and was simply choosing not to. Which could be possible. She’s a very good dog, after all. Still. I just don’t know. And it’s weird.
And very unlike all of the other dogs I’ve had.
Hell. This dog slept through the dude cutting the grass today. When she finally realized he was here, she went to the porch and just looked at him and looked at me. And that was that.
What kind of dog does that? (Not TW’s mom’s dog, that’s for sure.)
In the morning, she goes out for her sniff (yes she’s really just sniffing the bush), waits til I fix her breakfast – though she is happy to lick the dog and cat food can while I fix it (and my coffee). She wolfs down her breakfast, drinks most of her water, grabs her tin cans and licks those for a bit and only if I say “Duncan, let’s go outside” and walk to the back door does she think about peeing.
Weird dog. I wonder if I can get her to pee on the floor, too. (Kidding, just kidding. Sort of.)
When she carries in the paper or the mail she doesn’t even really slobber on it very much (though on Sunday she did get the Smartsource a little drooly which was weird because she hadn’t drooled on any other piece of mail and hasn’t since. Maybe she was just really excited about the coupons?)
What kind of dog carries in the mail or the paper and doesn’t drool on it?
She doesn’t beg for food, though she will happily come and take it if you offer it to her.
She stands at the open door and waits for you to tell her she can go.
She does NOT walk on the left side like I was told she did but who the hell cares since she also doesn’t jerk my damn arm out of the socket when she’s on the leash.
When she’s in the car, she stays IN the back where she’s supposed to.
What the hell kind of dog does is this?
A mutant dog. She’s cute though. And I like her more than the dogs in Love at First Bark. If TW could find me a dog like Duncan… she could have a dog.