Daily Dose of Search

It’s that time again because some of you need some serious help with your searches. 

Let’s start with the easy stuff – Melissa Ferrick.  See that little section on the right called "categories"?  Everything I’ve ever posted about Melissa Ferrick is in there.  You may not find all of the answers you are looking for but you will find a lot of them.  Free downloads of her music?  Well you can listen to some of her songs on My Space.  She has a blog there.  You can always find great boots of her shows at Cincheetah’s site.  But really, why don’t you just shell out the money and buy the darn CD?  You want to know if she has an eating disorder?  Ummm, why do you need to know this?  She’s very thin.  She lives on the road.  She has a song about not being able to eat (or sleep).  Isn’t that enough for you?  And to those of you looking for the parody of the Etheridge song – I’m a lesbian – Melissa Ferrick doesn’t sing that.  Give up.  It’s not a very good song.  In fact, it’s pretty ridiculous.  And if you’re a lesbian, is that really a song you would enjoy hearing?  Isn’t Drive enough for you?

To those of you looking for 101 vaginas or a daily nude photo.  Sorry, I only have one vagina and I’m really not planning on exposing it here.  I’m also not interested in posting nude photos.  Naked Jen has a great nude photo blog.  She’s awesome and you should visit her and learn something about why nudity is beautiful and to be celebrated.  If you’re just looking for porn, then apparently Twisty’s is something you would be interested in.

I get a lot of search hits for "Twisty’s" from you European searchers.  Apparently it’s a porn site?  I’m not really sure because I won’t click it.  Twisty Faster’s site is the one I’ve talked about and she’s an awesome feminist patriarchy sucks kind of woman.  She doesn’t do daily porn photos.  She does have amazing photos of her masectomy scars but I somehow think you wouldn’t be interested in those, am I right?

To those looking for Lisa Frank backpacks and lunchboxes – sorry, I can’t help you except to say Walmart and Toys R Us. I wouldn’t recommend you buy them though because they fall apart under regular use by 7 year olds and dogs seem to find them really appealing treats to munch on.   Try a Jansport instead, unless you just enjoy buying multiple lunchboxes and backpacks throughout the year.

I’m not sure who started the 101 things in 1001 days MEME.  Sorry, I just know where I got it.  Click that 101 Things category and scroll to the original post.  Maybe that info is enough for you?

Here’s one that made me laugh and I’m getting at least two searches a day for this… Is Terri Clark Gay?  Umm again I ask – what difference does it make?  Unless you are a woman considering asking her for a date, does her orientation really matter?  And if you are a woman considering asking her on a date, well don’t bother because she is married.  To a man.  So even if she is gay, she’s already spoken for so just enjoy her music and her hats and be thankful for having both in your world.

The biggest and most important big of advice I can give to you folks coming here from search is… pay attention… this is big… The word "DOSE" is not the same thing as the word "DOES".  I understand typos, believe me I do.  I also understand if English is not your first language (you should see me conjugate in Spanish, it is not pretty).  But it really is important, if you want accurate search results, to spell the word "DOES" properly.  "Does size matter?"  "Dose size matter?" — see how they are different?  The answer to the first, well listen to that Terri Clark song called "Girls Lie Too" and the answer to the second would be yes, dose size is important – if you’re giving a toddler tylenol or your g/f her imuran or a person with diabetes some insulin.  Dose size is very important.   Does, Does, Does – get it right, folks.  It will help your search results, I promise.

Now get busy searching, ok?

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