Once upon a time, you could write a post about almost anything and be fairly confident you weren’t going to be attacked, ridiculed, questioned, or called out as having completely missed the boat.
I’m not talking about the traditional hot button topics like abortion, circumcision, bottle feeding, religion, alternative sex topics, politics — those always have been hot button issues and probably always will be.
No, I’m talking about things like recipes and family stories and lists of favorite things. Those types of posts used to bring in discussion. People who could relate said so. People who had ideas to share did so. People who couldn’t relate or didn’t have anything to add, either stayed silent or left a comment indicating they’d read the piece but didn’t have a lot to add.
In today’s hyper-active internet, no topic is safe any more.
Post a recipe, someone’s going to have something negative to say about it.
Post a list of favorite things, someone’s going to call you out for missing something.
Misuse a comma and you’re fucked. An apostrophe out of place and you’re even more fucked.
The peoples, they are passionate. And I’m not just talking about other peoples. I find myself doing it, or close to doing it, a whole lot more often than ever before.
It’s so bloody easy to let our personal (or professional) passions get the better of us. It’s hard to read with a gentle eye. It’s hard to stop and look at the individual behind the post. Who is she? Where is she coming from? What led her to post this recipe, story, list, idea? If we stop to look and listen. Stop to think about the person behind the post, would we be less quick to react from a place of passion? Would that allow us to have more proactive and positive online interactions?
We’re not all professional writers, recipe developers, politicians, activists, etc. Most of us are just people who want to share ourselves with others. Our posts aren’t perfectly polished. Our ideas aren’t perfectly formed. Our experiences are colored by our environment. Our beliefs are informed by our histories. We’re also not that interesting in changing others at every drop of the hat, so there’s no reason to get your hackles up if someone posts something counter to your beliefs, opinions or experiences. And, we really do not want to be changed, improved or informed about all of our shortcomings (in your opinion) at every drop of the hat.
I need to remember to use my passion wisely and maybe not always take things quite so personally. How about you?
yeah, you’re right. i was thinking people are like that no matter their passion. they get judgmental when they deem themselves “professional”. it’s not cool to be preachy. or gossipy. or mean.
Oh, I love this. I judge myself enough; I don’t need the help of anyone else.
There is a very lovely post from a local-to-me dad blogger who reached out to people when he was starting to ask what their advice on blogging was and the best answer came from @zchamu and she’s continued so share it – be kind.
I remind myself of this a lot — I don’t always succeed. But I’m trying.
Be kind.
I loved this, too! It really made me smile (especially the part about the misplaced apostrophes, since that’s one of my hot buttons, although I usually just fume quietly to myself). You’re right, though. People seem to be becoming much more vocal, even about the insignificant things (like a misplaced apostrophe). I’m going to remember that a cool head might prevent a rash tirade of vitriol. Thanks for your great post!
“I need to remember to use my passion wisely and maybe not always take things quite so personally. How about you?”
Yes x 1,001 for me, and you already know why!
I infuriated someone the other day about making fun of the people who drive pass the crosswalk with disregard for pedestrians. I may have referred to them as “nose pickers” but I am passionate about getting my kids to school safe. But I didn’t expect the reaction from the post that I thought was written to be funny to get my point across.
I know when I’m reading other posts I try not to take it personally or raise an eyebrow. If I don’t have nothing nice to say than I don’t say it. Well most of the time…
The thing is none of us are perfect, we are all different, we all have different view points, and that is what makes blogging great.
Great job, Denise! Timely issue and NaBloPoMo two-for-one. SCORE! “Reading with gentle eyes.” I just love that and it expresses a wise understanding of the world. Thank you for sharing your love. Everyone has something to offer and a place in the sun. Sigh.
This is my favorite post so far, Denise! A fellow blogger once compared blogging to driving. You’re not thinking of the person driving super slow in front of you. You’re de-humanizing them, making your ability to rage at them over small petty things so much easier. It’s the same with online interactions.
This just may be the best thing I’ve read on the Internet all week. Wait, all month. Um, honestly, all year. This is an amazing post.
It is amazing to see the vitriol that a completely innocent post can bring out from the masses.
Great post and great comments – I often read the comments on blogs and wonder how people get so worked up over what seems to be nothing at all. And Somer’s comment really resonates with me, as I am a totally annoying road-rage-y driver…but when I’m yelling at someone from the confines my car, I am still aware that I’m the one being an idiot. (Unless that fool in front of me is doing something that everyone would agree was obnoxious) I think that’s what people are lacking these days – the idea that they might be the one with the problem…not everyone else. And that everyone else is not specifically trying to annoy them personally.
Unless they’re driving 5 miles under the speed limit in clear, sunny weather. Then they deserve the firing squad! 😉