Fucking Fly

There is a fly in the office. It’s making me crazy.

I’m sitting here trying to work and it buzzes past my head, as close as it can come without actually hitting me. So I stop and grab a rolled up magazine and look for the damn fly. It’s nowhere. Can’t find it to save my life.

So, I go back to work.

30 seconds later, here comes the fly — it lands on my laptop screen. I reach for the magazine and as soon as I’m ready to pounce, it flies away. I sit quietly and wait for it to come back. It does not come back.

So, I go back to work.

30 seconds later, here comes the fly — it lands on my Filofax. I’d hate to have fly guts on my Malden but that would be better than living with this fly. I reach for the magazine and the damn thing flies away. I sit quietly waiting for it to come back. It does not come back.

So, I go back to work.

30 seconds later, here comes the fly. It lands ON THE MAGAZINE so I get up and get another magazine and just as I’m about to slam that fucker, he flies away. I stalk around the office looking for him and CANNOT FIND HIM.

So, I go back to work.

Repeat 857 times and you have some idea of how my morning has gone.

Oh look, there he is on the fish bowl…