denise

Literary Life

Forgive the title, I like alliteration and I couldn’t come up with a single other title that felt right.  This post is so totally not about the literary life.  It is about how books, their plots and their characters, worm their way into our lives and the language of our family.

Do you know what I mean by that?  Does your family talk in code phrases and secret language that other people can’t comprehend?  Does that code and that language stem from having shared a book together?  Let me share some of the most common examples of how this happens in the Flamingo Family.

"Traditionally Built Women".  Do you know what that means? When was the last time you used the phrase?  Have you ever used it? Alexander McCall Smith’s #1 Ladies’ Detective Agency has br

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Daily Dose of Health – BlogHer

BlogHer has landed!  That’s right folks, the coolest network of women has launched.   This is one of the best things I’ve had the honor of being involved in – EVER.  Involved in?  Yes that’s right, I am not just attending the BlogHer Con, I. AM. INVOLVED! 

Yours truly has the honor and privilege of being one of three contributing editors for the BlogHer Health & Wellness topic.  Go me!  And go mipmup and Amanda too.

I hope you’ll stop by the BlogHer network and click into the blogs and the blogrolls.  And women bloggers, yea you, please add your blog to the blogher blogroll.  The more women we have visible the less likely we’ll be to hear the dumb phrase "where are the women bloggers"!  . 

If you know of a great health & wellness blog written by a woman please bring it to my attention, I’d be happy to visit and give her blog a mention in my BlogHer blog.

Gosh I’m lucky – I guess that Tarot Card on Saturday was right, wasn’t it?

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Daily Dose of Denise – Tarot


You Are The Star


You represent the ultimate in truth and purity.
Insightful and illuminating, you provide guidance for others.
You also demonstrate unselfish, unconditional love.
You posses many spiritual gifts, including the ability to heal.

Your fortune:

Your future is looking brighter by the day.
The near future will be a time of both hope and healing.
Luck is about to come your way, perhaps the best luck you have ever seen.
Life is about to get a lot easier and much better!




Does this mean my washing machine will be working in the morning?


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Daily Dose of Lessons – Laundry

I have learned a valuable lesson. Very valuable. Before you rant about the vast amount of laundry, be aware that the appliances are listening.



The washing machine is unhappy. It tries to agitate, it does not succeed. It won’t even try to spin. It is successful, however, at making a really horrible noise when attempting the agitation and ignoring the plea to spin.


I miss my washing machine. There is laundry to be done and I want to do it. Right now. Please washing machine. Forgive me for complaining. Forgive me for complaining and not taking the time to sing your praises. Pretty please, let me do laundry!


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Daily Dose of Frustration – Phone Books

I’m sick of telephone books.  There’s another one laying at the end of our driveway right now.  The first one of the new year but it certainly won’t be the last.  I threw away two during the last clean sweep weekend.  There’s one under our bed. One in the office on top of the scanner.  One in Michelle’s room.  One on the library cart in the office.  One inside of the little cabinet in the office.  Did I mention I threw two away during the last clean sweep weekend? 

Enough already!

I don’t live in some big metropolis that requires 3 volumes for the yellow pages and 3 volumes for the white pages.  Heck, I don’t even need a phone book for the most part – unless the electricity or the internet is out, it’s faster and easier to just look at one of the yellow page services online.

Couldn’t we have a "do not deliver" list for phone books like the "do not call" list for telephone spammers?  I DON’T NEED ANOTHER PHONE BOOK!  Really I don’t. Now if someone would deliver cigarettes and coffee, that’s a delivery I could use. 

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Daily Dose of Memories – Stray Kids

I take in stray kids.  It’s what I do.  When I say I have 6 1/2 kids, the 1/2 child is the stray currently living here part time.  I’ve always done this.  I assume I will always do this.  Luckily, TW is understanding and a stray kid collector too. 

Tonight I’m suppose to be writing a challenge or finishing a report or writing a Blogher post but none of those are happening because I’m thinking about a stray kid from long ago.  We lost track of her along the way and she’s resurfaced today.

Aud "lived with us" when we were in Panama.  She didn’t REALLY live with us, but she may as well have.  Her mom was in the Air Force and no dad had been in her life for a very long time.  Her mom worked the odd hours expected of those in the AF and she was a single woman who wanted a social life, too.  So she was busy.  And I was a mom.  And Jenn (the oldest of the brood) was Aud’s best friend.  It made sense for Aud to live with us five days a week. Well mostly it made sense.  Sometimes Jenn was jealous because Michelle adored Aud.  Sometimes Jenn was jealous because she thought I gave Aud special favors or attention that she didn’t get.  Sometimes Jenn just wanted some time to herself, without Aud.  But mostly it made sense.

Aud and her mom headed for Germany while we headed for NJ.  We saw her again the next summer, she came to stay with us but left early because Jenn had moved on and she felt left out of the crowd.  Mostly I think she left because she had turned a corner in her life and the path she had chosen wasn’t Jenn’s. 

We lost track of her again for few more years and then out of the blue she called to say mom had kicked her out, she was going to join the Army and don’t worry, she’d keep in touch.  Then she vanished again.  Until today.  Thank you My Space.

Jenn and Michelle tracked her down over Christmas but didn’t tell me in case she didn’t want to be contacted.  She and Jenn have been emailing and calling each other for a few days and Jenn called to tell me tonight.

Apparently after her mom kicked her out, there was more trouble.  Trouble that involves probation and a record and newspaper clippings about "incidents".  Jenn told me where to find the whole story on My Space but you know me, I have "Denise Rules" about such things so I didn’t look.  I looked at her photos and smiled and sent her a message asking her to add me to her friends list.  If she wants me to read her blog, she’ll tell me herself.  Until then, I’ll just sit here and look at the old photos and wonder if things would have been different if we’d kept her with us.  Probably not.  But I still wonder.  And I know I would never have kicked her out when she was 16, not for any reason. 

Mygirls2_3

Aud, Steph, Jenn – B.F.F.

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Daily Dose of Queer – Sex

Darn, I didn’t even have time to rant about UF’s nice new domestic partner benefits clause that forced you to swear you are in a “non-platonic relationship” with your domestic partner. Now they’ve withdrawn that requirement. HMPH. That’s what I get for having so many children and so much work to do that I don’t have time to make fun of Gators when they deserve it. Darn Darn Darn.


Well at least now we can consider the benefit options – we couldn’t before since we’re not only too busy to blog about this issue, we’re also too busy to actually HAVE sex.

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Daily Dose of Money – Taxes

I did my taxes yesterday with Turbo Tax. I’m getting a refund. A really small refund and probably the last one I’ll ever see. Darn it.


Turbo Tax has this interesting little money stealer option that allows you to use your refund, in part or in full, to purchase gift cards for use at places like Starbucks and Expedia. If you elect to do this, you get bonus dollars – you buy a $20 Starbucks gift card for $15. Seems like a good idea, if you go to Starbucks every morning and spend $10 like we do, right? No, not really.


First problem is that there is a $14.99 handling fee applied. So if you buy $100 worth of cards you’re not saving $25, you’re only saving $10. Still, a savings is a savings, right? Wrong. You can only get cards in $20 increments which is less than two trips for me. That’s five of those plastic cards littering up the universe. I mean please, give me the option to get ONE card with $100 and then I might consider.


Now the Expedia option, it’s a better deal. Minimum purchase is $300 which you actually pay $250 for. Factor in your $14.99 and it’s still a nice enough deal, isn’t it? Especially if you’re planning on buying your airplane tickets for Blogher through expedia.


Do any of you think this new Turbo Tax feature is a good idea? Would you consider using your tax refund to buy all of those Christmas gift cards now and get it out of the way? Or is that $14.99 handling fee going to make it less appealing?


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Daily Dose of Parenting – Queer Advice

**Edited to add… click into Dr P’s blog and his comments now.  He was linked in Grand Rounds today and I think we have one example of the kind of parent who would do this.**

I never thought I’d be linking to Dr P’s blog.  I don’t really have much need for pediatric advice (knock on wood).  I’m not even sure why I read Dr P’s blog today.  I clicked it by accident and there I was, looking at "God Bless P-Town".  Huh?  What does P-Town have to do with pediatrics or even Dr P?  I figured I might should read it and find out… even if it is really LONG.

I’ve never actually met anyone who was tossed out by their parents because they came out.  I have met some teens who are sure they will be.  I have one living with me half of the time who insists his parents don’t like his relationship choices (he’s bi) – personally I think they just don’t like his life choices in general but that’s another story – but I don’t think they’ve ever tossed him out for being bi.  I can’t imagine kicking a child out of your home, for any reason.  It was hard enough to watch Michelle leave when she thought she wanted to live with her dad.  Someone suggested recently I shouldn’t let Chris move back in, how could I not?  He’s my child.  Ya know?

How will you deal with your feelings if your child grows up to be other than you want them to be?  Better think about it now, while your children are young – it happens.  Often.

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