GLBT

I don’t really DO National Coming Out Day. I don’t like the concept. There seems to be an awful lot of pressure on people to do this “thing” – some “thing” related to “coming out”. And that pressure can weigh pretty heavily on people causing them to take some action, make some grand statement and “come out” when it isn’t really in their best interest TO come out.

Oh sure, some of you might think it’s always a good idea to be OUT, it isn’t. Not everyone has a support group, a safe working or educational environment, friends or family who will support them. Some people live in exactly the opposite situation where coming out means pain, suffering, physical violence and emotional violence.

It would be nice if this wasn’t the case – but then we wouldn’t really need a “Coming Out Day” because folks would just immediately BE out, wouldn’t they? It’s all so complicated and I am not a fan of complications.

Don’t come out if you aren’t in a good place. Don’t feel like you HAVE to come out or else someone may judge you as “not gay enough”. Don’t feel like you need to have some big event to be out, you really don’t. Just be yourself and do whatever you have to do to stay safe.

I wonder how many people came out today – and got teased at school, got beat up, got thrown out of their homes, got fired…. I’ll like National Coming Out Day a hell of a lot more when we don’t actually have to have it.

Jodie Foster makes me laugh when she does this stuff. I think if she ever answered these questions head on I’d be disappointed. On the other hand, I just told TW that Jodie Foster is annoying. I wouldn’t be happy hung with a new rope. 😉

Let’s talk about your ring.

This one? [Proffers left hand] It’s Tiffany, an eternity ring.

You’re wearing it on your wedding ring finger.

I am. I’ve always worn a ring. Even taking photos. Even on magazine covers. I don’t take it off.

Don’t you think wearing a ring like that raises questions?

Well, but that’s my life. I thought about this recently: I had a nightmare the other night. Well, anyway. . .

C’mon! Let’s hear the nightmare!

I was being interviewed by somebody, like an innocuous [press] junket thing. They were asking me questions about food I liked or whatever. Then they said, [in a high, innocent voice] “Have you ever written any homemade anti-Semitic cards?” And I was like, [horrified] “No!” Then she said, “Come with me,” and I realized to myself, “You’re so stupid. Haven’t you ever seen that 60 Minutes thing where they ask you a banal question? You’re not supposed to say yes or no. You’re supposed to go, ‘Well, that’s interesting.’ Because if they ask you the banal question, it’s because they have some kind of document on you. And now you’ve got to go! And now the camera’s going to follow you!” Then my dream was over. [Pauses and reflects before continuing]

My life is my life. I’m not going to change my life for anybody. I don’t have any problems with it. I just don’t talk about my health, my dad, who I voted for or what I think of the death penalty, because that would be trivializing my life, selling it for a magazine. I don’t have any problems with anybody reporting on my life. It’s just that I’m not going to bring my family into that. The number-one reason for that is: Why would I invite — encourage — more people to sit outside my door and wait for my children to go to school? I don’t have any desire to participate in it.