**Edited to add… click into Dr P’s blog and his comments now. He was linked in Grand Rounds today and I think we have one example of the kind of parent who would do this.**
I never thought I’d be linking to Dr P’s blog. I don’t really have much need for pediatric advice (knock on wood). I’m not even sure why I read Dr P’s blog today. I clicked it by accident and there I was, looking at "God Bless P-Town". Huh? What does P-Town have to do with pediatrics or even Dr P? I figured I might should read it and find out… even if it is really LONG.
I’ve never actually met anyone who was tossed out by their parents because they came out. I have met some teens who are sure they will be. I have one living with me half of the time who insists his parents don’t like his relationship choices (he’s bi) – personally I think they just don’t like his life choices in general but that’s another story – but I don’t think they’ve ever tossed him out for being bi. I can’t imagine kicking a child out of your home, for any reason. It was hard enough to watch Michelle leave when she thought she wanted to live with her dad. Someone suggested recently I shouldn’t let Chris move back in, how could I not? He’s my child. Ya know?
How will you deal with your feelings if your child grows up to be other than you want them to be? Better think about it now, while your children are young – it happens. Often.
Technorati Tags: comingout, parentingproblems, children, advice, expectations, provincetown,
I just read it — and found myself furious at these parents for tossing their 14-year old kid out on the street. Just incredible.
Who they are attracted to does not define who they are. Why would parents do that? And to use the excuse that it’s counter to the “Christian” morals is just nonsense. Throwing your kid out on the street is far more anti-christian than the kid being gay.
About the only thing that would cause me to want my kid out of the house would be drugs, but that would mean I’d send him to rehab, not the streets.
good grief.
I don’t have kids. I don’t particularly want kids. But I can’t imagine banishing a child.
I can’t imagine it either. 14? Sheesh.
I think the only thing that I would not allow would be if they were addicts and stealing from me. But at FOURTEEN it would be to the rehab – not out in the street!
I actually have relatives who have put their kid out on the curb at a very tender age. The kid was messed up in many ways but to put him out like that was just wrong.
I have often looked at the girlies sleeping and wondered who will they be when they grow up? What choices will they make? Of course I have an idea of what *I* would like them to be but I try very hard to allow them to unfold. They surprise me quite often!
I know what you mean – there are some things you can seek help for, homosexuality is one of them – not for a “cure” but to work together to understand each other. Tossing a kid out isn’t a solution at all.
I’m lucky, I had very cool parents. Of their five children, 2 are gay and they were fine with it. I simply can’t imagine putting a 14 out on the street for any reason. Not that I haven’t considering it a few times…. in the heat of an argument.
And what’s with the comment about the drooling 5 yr old? That was random.
TW and I were laughing at that – maybe kids who drool end up being gay? Did you drool a lot when you were a kid? I don’t think I did. All three of my kids did and two claim to be bisexual… my son often wears a skirt. I dunno, maybe someone should do a study?
Probably though it’s just that Dr P is a WebMD health professional and answers pediatric questions on his board so, well, why not ask him a pediatric question on whichever blog post you happen to be reading? 🙂
That kind of thing just makes me so sad.
Yes, I have thought about that possibility and concluded it’s a big “so what?” I just want my daughter to be herself and be happy and have good relationships with people who make her happy.
So if none of us can imagine booting our kids to the curb for this, who are the people who would do this? Where are they? Not that I want them here, necessarily – I just wonder. I do read conservative blogs, sometimes. I do read blogs by those with strong religious beliefs but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a blogger say “If my son told me he was gay at 14, I’d kick him out”. I’d be interested in hearing their thoughts.
I’ve thought about this for a few days and I’m not sure how Santini would have reacted…I know he threatened concerning pregnancy (yeah like that was even a possibility)….military school was thrown around a few times…I definately grew up with people whose parents would have put them out over being gay
I figured Santini would have shipped you off to military school. Not toss you out completely. Interesting. Wanna ask him what he would have done? 😉
yeah – I’ll throw that in at the next family gathering….great dinner conversation
Too bad you didn’t think to ask him when you gave him the Corvair! That would have been great fun. 😉
I was kicked out at 14 because my mothers boyfriend didn’t like me. Silly me wouldn’t let him beat her up. Im not gay.
My brother is gay and he was allowed to live with my mother on and off until moved to Florida with no questions asked. If it came down to my brother or her boyfriend, the boyfriend would have gone.
Nothing could get me to throw my kids out at any age. Not being gay, not being an outlaw nothing. I’d help them get counseling or drug rehab or whatever. If my kids wanted to move back home, home they could come. Because they’re my kids that’s the bottom line.
*Hand waving in the air*
I’m conservative. Christian too – although I’m sure many Christians would agree that I am not a very good one…
Honestly – I don’t know who the parents are that would throw a kid out for being gay. Even amongst the homeschooling families I know (many of whom could be considered proper Christians). That family member of mine – but they didn’t throw him out because he was gay. They just didn’t like him.
I have to think that a parent who throws a kid out for ANY reason just doesn’t like their kid. It’s terrible.
Ack Em – I thought you were older when all of that went down. Not that being older makes it better or somehow ok.
Glad you came back Monica – I almost actually pointed out that you were here in the comments and that you’re C.C. but didn’t seem the type to me to toss your girls out. I don’t think it has anything to do with religion or political/social leanings. I think it has to do with parenting and love.
Your update makes me sad. I’m a Christian and I’m here to say that the worst PR Christians have is other Christians. I don’t know what religion the commenter is but to live life inside of such a narrow, hateful little box is really just..pathetic.
My idealism gets me in more trouble than my Christianity, but I’ll take being an idealist over being a hater any day.