Family Funk

She Made Me Sniff Coke

3 Comments / Friends & Family /

And no I wouldn’t jump off of a bridge if all of the other kids were doing it.  Yes, I do have free will.  Even when TW is involved, I have been known to say no… occasionally.

But she really did make me sniff coke last night.  It was one of the odder moments in bed with her, I can tell you that. 

I was happily reading my book, The Thirteenth Tale, and I was on page 13.  She had already interrupted me on page 6 and page 10 so it shouldn’t have been any surprise when I arrived on page 13 and she put her book down – a sure sign that she’s going to interrupt me with some odd topic of discussion.  I tried to ignore her, it’s The Thirteenth Tale after all.  But, of course, I can’t ignore her.  It’s impossible to do so.

I looked at her and she began to explain the revelation she has just had.  About coke.  About coke and the place we purchase our coke.  And about many experiences with coke purchases in her life. 

She handed me her open can of coke and told me that first, I needed to sniff it.  So I would understand what she meant by the way coke sometimes smells like gasoline.  (Uhhh errr, that is really what she said. I know, it’s weird.)  So, I sniff.  I took a really deep sniff. 

Apparently, to TW, it smelled like gas and a can of coke.  And this has been happening to her off and on for quite some time.  Because we are now buying all of our coke at Daily’s Shell Station (which I have previously said I would not shop at any more due to the ICEE fiasco but have since changed my mind) because it’s the cheapest place in town – and it’s conveniently located on the way home from work. 

Also, TW has experienced this gasoline scented coke at other times in her life.  Like on family vacations when she would stop and get a coke (in a real bottle and before that whole high fructose corn syrup fiasco) from the machine in a gas station. 

I gave her coke another sniff.  And smiled in support of her revelation.  But just between the two of us… I’ve never smelled gasoline scented coke before.  I think it’s just another one of those TW and her imagination things.   The next time you get a coke from a gas station, could you give it a sniff and tell me what you smell?

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Just Lick It

3 Comments / Friends & Family /

Have you ever licked your dryer? Have you ever wanted to lick your dryer?

All of those blog posts where women talk about licking things, I never got it.  It seemed sort of silly to talk about licking your iPod or your new blackberry or whatever.  But today, when the dryer was delievered, it all made sense to me.

I want to lick it.

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I’m glad both dogs are deaf

2 Comments / Day to Day, Pets /

Last month TW started saying Jake was also deaf (Jake is the black dog, his mother Chanel is the old and very deaf almost dead blonde dog).  I didn’t believe her because he mostly responds to your voice and he was barking when people he did not like came to the door.  Stuff like that. 

On New Year’s Eve, when the fireworks started, he didn’t make a sound.  Hmm, maybe she’s right.  But no, he barked at the doorbell on Sunday.  Last night, when the Gator Mania started, he never made a sound.  For 3 hours while the city celebrated (and I tossed and turned and could not sleep due to all of the celebration) the dog never made a sound – except for some snoring and deep breathing.

The dogs, they’re both deaf and last night I was glad – fireworks and horn honking and airhorns are bad enough, dogs barking outside your bedroom door are worse.

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I should get serious about photography?

3 Comments / Day to Day, Friends & Family, Pet Peeves /

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry or tell my mother where she can go.  I’m leaning toward laughing because that’s usually what I do when I’d rather cry or tell someone where to go, particularly when it’s someone I like.  And I do like my mother.  Even when she ticks me off.  Like tonight.

Here I am doing the most ridiculous data entry in the history of data entry, at 8pm at night – after working a full day, just to make an extra $50 when my mother sends mail asking me for a copy of a photo I took.  I open a tab at flickr, copy the photo and send it as an attachment, telling her she could have gotten it herself if she had been logged in.

Fast forward to 10pm and I’m still doing the data entry in order to make an extra $50 and trying to decide if I’m going to work another part-time gig when I’m finished or am I going to finish up a report for my "real job" since the time I normally do that tomorrow I’ll be at the doctor’s office with Michelle or at SFCC with Michelle picking up her books.  Whatever, I’m a long way from going to sleep and my mother emails me again.  She knew she could get the photo off flickr, she wanted the much better quality original of the Heir to the Throne’s feet because she wanted to print it.  And she proceeded to lecture me about saving originals and printing my photos "if I was serious about my photography". 

Umm huh?  Like I have time for that?  What would ever lead her to believe I was serious about photography?  Or had time to even consider being serious about photography?  I work a full time job, 2 part-time jobs and I take contract work as often as I can.  I have a gazillion children (granted 3 are gone at the moment but still) and a gazillion animals.  NO I AM NOT SERIOUS ABOUT MY PHOTOGRAPHY.

And then what happens, TW who has been snoring next to me for two hours rolls over and says "I really like that photo of the girl and the turkey."  Umm what?  What photo? What turkey? What girl?  God, she probably expects me to get serious about my photography too because the almighty sent her a message in a dream.  Denise should photograph girls and turkeys for a living! Get serious about your art.

Whatever.

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It’s another one of those holidays…

1 Comment / Holidays, Pets /

You know, the kind when dogs eat chocolate and people surf the web looking for information about how horrible this is, how quickly their dog is going to die and how big the vet bill is going to be.  While Christmas isn’t quite as big for dogs and chocolate as Halloween, it’s been busy around here with the search engine folks.

There have been more cats ingesting chocolate and candy than in previous candy-filled holidays, (at least based on the numbers of people arriving here via search engines).  So far, none of our cats have had any chocolate.  Megan was eating a plastic bag that held chocolate but she always eats plastic bags, so that’s not really anything unusual. 

Also, it seems some dogs have been getting into the Christmas ham and this is troubling to some people.  It’s troubling to me to see TW tossing scraps to the dogs but I don’t really think a bit of ham is going to be a problem for most dogs (or cats).  It never has been for any of ours.  Jake will sometimes open the refrigerator door and nibble from the ham or turkey if it’s on the bottom shelf and not in sealed tupperware.  He’s still alive and well and here to nibble on RJ’s Christmas candy without any ill effects.

Happy holidays to all of you, and to your pets, too.

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