Family Funk

Buster’s Not the Only Butt

4 Comments / Animal Issues, Daily Dose, Day to Day, Family Funk /

All of the dogs have been TROUBLE for the last few days. I guess I could blame the warmer weather? They have certainly been excited about being able to stay out for more than 90 seconds without risking frost bite.

Lola, in particular, has been thrilled to mouth off to all of the squirrels and try to climb fences and trees to catch them. Poor thing doesn’t realize that even if she can climb the fence, she’s still 30 feet too low to reach the squirrel.

Skeeter poodle has barked pretty much non-stop, at invisible things — though TW said last night there were coyotes outside. I didn’t see them so maybe Skeeter just somehow told her they were out there?

Buster butt just runs around madly because the other two are excited by stuff. He has no idea what that stuff is but he’s more than happy to help them cause chaos.

It’s not just the running around and barking though.

I’ve found Skeeter eating several things she should not have.

A shoe.
A book.
Some mail that turned out only to be an empty envelope, thankfully.
And… the big one… TW’s brand new leather iPhone wallet that she’d only had for 36 hours. Her brand new leather iPhone wallet that she LOVES. Yep. Destroyed. By Skeeter. Not by Buster. Though it is possible that Buster retrieved it and passed it on to Skeeter to eat. He does that sometimes. Still. She KNOWS BETTER.

Speaking of knowing better… Buster might be learning something…

One of the most frustrating things about Buster butt is that he has not seemed to learn that we are unhappy with him when he eats all of the things. When we yell or stomp our way toward him or do some other thing to try and stop him from eating what he’s eating, he has always just sat there chewing the forbidden item and looking at us like we’re nuts or even wagged his tail thinking we’re coming to play.

For the last couple of days though, he’s made that ashamed face when he sees me coming to retrieve something he shouldn’t have. A couple of times he’s slunk away from what he was headed for when he heard me tell him NO.

I’m telling myself that this is a sign that we’re making progress. It IS a sign we’re making progress, right?

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Happy Showgirl Is Happy

1 Comment / Animal Issues, Family Funk, Pets /

It’s in the 30s(f) here today. Ice fog and just fog, awaiting the rain forecast for a bit later today. I’m much happier because of it but not nearly as happy as the happy showgirl.

Lola Belle is the puppy who likes being outside as much as possible. And even if she isn’t outside, she likes to sit at the back door and watch for squirrels through the window. With the super-cold the last week/ten days, she’s been unable to be outside and I will not allow her to stay in the cold room for very long because IT IS TOO COLD in the office for me to have the door propped open for her to go in and out.

So today, Lola is one helluva happy showgirl. She’s so happy that she she has spent quite a lot of time teaching Buster butt to play properly. Normally she just kind of ignores him out there or puts him in his place for being stupid. Today though, she tried to teach him to play chase — which is the game that she and Skeeter like the best. The game that Buster butt does not know how to play.

She managed to get him to play properly for all of five minutes and then he went back to being stupid and just trying to pounce her every ten seconds. So, she sent him in the house to be stupid on his own and went about her business of guarding the yard and just being her happy outdoorsy showgirl face-licking self.

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Buster Needs a Water Table

1 Comment / Animal Issues, Family Funk /

Buster Butt likes to play in water. A lot.

Before it got colder than hell, he’d splash around in mud puddles outside.

He’d tap his paw in the water dishes – all of three of them.

He’d drag them, full of water, around the house.

We kept having to pick the water bowls up and leave them on counters, which meant that none of the dogs ever had water when they wanted water.

We’d remember late in the day that nobody had water and we’d fill up a bowl and put it on the floor. Lola and Skeeter would drink. Buster would drink and drink and drink and then decide to play in the bowl. So, the water would get taken away again.

TW researched unspillable water bowls and decided we needed to order Buddy Bowls. I was skeptical but ordered two.

Once they arrived, I was still skeptical but they did seem significantly less spilly than regular bowls.

But, Buster Butt drags them all over the house and chews on them and I can assure you that they are not spill-proof. I wipe up water ALL DAY LONG because he has dragged one around the house and spilled it all over the place.

And once again, the bowls live on the counter and we have to remember to put some water in them and let the dogs have them for awhile — at least until Buster Butt annoys us by dragging them around and spilling water all over the place again.

I think he needs a water table, like the one JMP got for Christmas.

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My Locket

3 Comments / Daily Dose, Family Funk, Filofax, Kid Talk /

Jenn sent me a fabulous opal locket for my birthday — It arrived with the Christmas gifts she sent in December. I didn’t expect it because she’d already gifted me with cleaning ladies so I had absolutely no idea this was coming.

It’s a great locket but there were problems…

I don’t really wear jewelry. I wear the gecko that the kids gave me a zillion years ago in the Philippines and the coffee bean TW gave me for beaning day, on one chain. One chain I haven’t taken off, except to replace a broken chain, in more than 10 years.

This locket came on a very long chain. One I was very sure I’d break. Not to mention it’s heavy — not the kind of thing I can put on and never take off again. It’s also too heavy to put on the same chain with the coffee bean and the gecko.

So it sat here on my desk and I fondled it every day. Opened it and looked at the pictures. Closed it and fondled it again. What to do…?

Of course. I could turn it into a Filofax charm! And when I gifted myself with the A5 Malden, I knew it would be PERFECT as a charm for that Filofax.

We went to Michael’s yesterday and I bought the stuff to turn it into a Filofax charm (along with the two flamingos TW gave me for Christmas) and I love the way it turned out. The Malden is almost always on my desk and I can fondle the opal and look at the photos all of the time, without worrying about losing it or breaking it.

I love, love, love it.

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The Showgirl Is a Delicate Flower

4 Comments / Animal Issues, Family Funk, Pets /

A couple of days ago, whatever day it was that the snow started to really, really fall — the puppies had been outside playing while TW cleared the driveway and when they came running in, Lola slid on the top step and just sat there panting. If another dog got near her, she growled. I thought for sure she’d broken her leg…

I got the other two dogs inside and locked in the kitchen and by the time I got back to the cold room to help her, she was walking around, slowly, in the office.

I sat down with her and looked at her legs and feet and everything seemed fine. She’s a tough little showgirl (obviously, since she survived a skewer through the belly while pregnant) and we all went on about our business.

Today, the dogs were outside playing when Lola suddenly started shaking and walking like something hurt… duh. It’s her feet, not her legs. Her feet are getting so cold that she can’t walk and they hurt. I’ve never seen that happen to a dog before.

None of the dogs have exhibited this problem, while we’ve lived here. When I lived in NJ, I never saw a dog have that problem either, (and lord I saw a lot of dogs when I lived in Jersey, since I worked at an animal kennel… but that could be that they only spent about five minutes, twice a day, out in the snow — the rest of the time they were in their indoor runs?)

We always joke about Skeeter being the delicate flower but it turns out the tough showgirl has delicate paws.

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Lord, I’m Tired

1 Comment / Christmas, Daily Dose, Day to Day, Family Funk /

Cookies were decorated. An iPhone was taken apart and not repaired. Presents were wrapped. Stockings hung. Pizza was delivered, though the vegan pizza I ordered wasn’t vegan. Pajamas were unwrapped. Giggling took place. Lola and Skeeter got into a fight. Buster is still hiding, though he did tolerate pets from Michelle Belle. Packages did not arrive when they were supposed to arrive — even Amazon let me down, sigh. All of the laundry is done. My finger may or my not be infected. There are a lot of baked goods, vegan, gluten-free and non-vegan and gluten-filled.

I really hope the bathwater I hear running is for me… my back is killing me. It was a pretty good day.

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Almost…

2 Comments / Christmas, Daily Dose, Day to Day, Family Funk /

Chris’s flight was right on time this morning. Michelle’s is only an hour delayed, and she’ll be here in a little over an hour.

I wrapped another dozen Christmas gifts. Realized I forgot to buy something that I always buy and will have to do that tomorrow.

Buster is terrified. Really terrified. I mean really really terrified. He hasn’t eaten anything he shouldn’t have eaten all day — but that’s because he’s pretty much just cowering in corners. Poor little guy. There is no yelling at Buster going on right now. Just lots of soft encouraging whispers.

I made my sugar cookies today, in preparation for the kids’ decorating them tomorrow.

TW and RJ baked a ton of things. Skeeter ate a lot of macaroons (not macarons) and Buster took a nibble of one off of my finger.

They demolished a brand new toy and Lola nicely brought each squeaker to me as Skeeter removed it from the toy.

I’ve run three loads through the dishwasher and have another half load ready to go, tomorrow after we eat the yummy cinnamon rolls my brother and sister-in-law (yes I have a brother and no Christine is not my sister, she is my sister-in-law) sent.

All of the laundry is DONE. All of it. It’s even put away – except for TW’s mom’s stuff and the little kids’ things but since I don’t put their clothes away, my work is DONE. Done I tell you. ‘Til tomorrow when I’ll have a load of towels to do.

I think I’ll go read or maybe just watch Chris read. He loves it when I do that.

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Happy, Merry

3 Comments / Christmas, Family Funk, Friends & Family /

In September, right after JMP and Jenn went home, I happened to click in to read Dooce’s blog. That rarely happens now that she feeds partial feeds. I don’t know what it was that caused me to click but I did. And what did I click into? Her post about Paul Ferney’s Commission Project.

I’m pretty sure if JMP hadn’t been here and just left, that I never would have shelled out the money and taken the chance on ordering a painting from Paul but I did it and thought it would make a great present for my mother who often complains that she never has a photo of JMP to hang on her wall or whatever.

And then I mostly forgot about it. I mean I didn’t. But I did.

So when I was ordering gifts from Haldecraft for all of the people, I did not have it in my head that I’d bought my mom’s Christmas gift already and I ordered her some orange yarn. Then, she saw the sock monkey yarn that I sent sassymonkey and said she wanted some — and since I happened to have ordered two skeins of sock monkey yarn, I figured I’d just give her both skeins.

Flash forward a couple of weeks and the portrait I’d ordered from Paul Ferney arrived and it hit me — I have too many presents for my mother. Oy. What to do.

I opened the package, thinking — maybe it won’t be very good and I will just keep it. Or maybe I’ll send it to Jenn and Teddy. Or … and it was good. Really good.

I set it on the grandma cubby in my bedroom and I just loved looking at it. I thought I’d just keep it… or maybe hold it til Mother’s Day and send it to my mother then.

I took a picture and posted it on Instagram/Facebook/Twitter. My mother commented — asking if that was her Christmas present. I ignored her.

Time passed and TW moved the furniture in the bedroom around and her medicines were moved to the cubby — which means every time she opened the cubby cabinet, she knocked JMP’s painting onto the floor. It made me INSANE.

I was either going to have to move it, hang it or… send it to my mother.

I moved it to my desk.

Two days later, I wrapped my mother’s Christmas gift. And Ken’s gift. And as I was getting ready to tape the box closed… I reached over and grabbed the painting and shoved it into a bag. It almost didn’t fit in the bag, and I started having second thoughts… maybe that meant I was supposed to keep it, for at least awhile longer?

But no. Really. I bought it for my mom. I wanted her to have it. And hell, I’ll get it back eventually, won’t I?

When she sent me a text saying she got her box… I told her to just open the bag.

She didn’t answer.

I buzzed her on WWF, she didn’t answer.

I sent her another text. She replied that they were at Haley’s performance…

When she finally got home, TW and I were pulling into the mall parking lot and the darn woman opened the gift that was not in the bag. Sheesh. Which she was happy enough about (no mom, Buster has not eaten my socks or my gloves) and I told her to just open the bloody bag already.

She did.

She said she cried.

Which is pretty much what I wanted because I kind of cried when I mailed her the box. lol.

Happy Christmas, mom.

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Buster Butt Is a Butt

1 Comment / Animal Issues, Family Funk /

Sigh.

This dog.

Have you read Marley & Me? Seen the movie? Buster is very Marley-like.

He just doesn’t get it. Well he GETS everything and I do mean everything. He doesn’t GET that there are rules and things he should not have, do, or eat. He does not recognize the word “no”. He doesn’t recognize tone of voice that might indicate someone is unhappy with him. He does not understand clapping or whistling or can shaking or clicking. Time outs in his crate mean nothing except that he’s lonely and oh, maybe he can just eat his crate pad or the bars of the crate or his food bowl while he’s lonely.

He only understands that there are things he wants to knock over, eat or climb.

He climbed to the top of the metal spiral staircase today and thought the ceiling/floor might be good to eat. And then he jumped from the top of the stairs to the floor. Not a smart dog.

Except that he is smart – he learned “down” and “sit” (for treats) much more quickly than Lola and pretty much as quickly as Skeeter. He can also figure out how to get into ANYTHING.

He’s just not smart in the right kind of way.

He has learned absolutely nothing about what the rules of the house are. Not one thing and he’s making us nuts. Insane. Bonkers.

But he’s awfully pretty.

And he’s very sweet. He loves his people TONS and he loves his dogs. He even loves the prairie dogs in a way that the other two do not. He doesn’t harass them. He doesn’t guard them. He just licks them for as long as they will let him. Lola is a face licker but Buster is a prairie dog licker.

Gah. I hope we survive him. I really do. (At least TW’s method of keeping him out of the trash cans has worked… so far.)

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My Dad Is Such a Disappointment…

3 Comments / Family Funk, Friends & Family /

Just a couple of weeks shy of his 70th birthday, my dad had his first hat trick, (3 goals AND an assist). That’s not the disappointment. I’m always pretty pleased when I talk to him on the phone and he says “yep, still playing but I’m not sure how much longer I’m going to be able to keep playing.” (His new goal is to make it long enough so that he, my brother and my step-brother’s son can play on a team together… let’s hope he makes that goal. That would be awesome.)

The disappointment is that he didn’t manage a Gordie Howe Hat Trick.

Sigh. I thought I taught him enough about slashing other players that he could have figured out how to get into a fight on the ice. Even with my brother’s help he couldn’t manage a fight. Come to think of it, my brother’s a bit of a disappointment, too. What kind of kid can’t help his dad successfully get a penalty for fighting?

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