I tagged this picture as “Chanel’s last Christmas” but it wasn’t. She held on for another 15 months or so. She had some pretty rough days and we probably should have let her go a lot sooner than we did. But man, it was tough to take her to the vet today and say goodbye. A lot tougher than I thought it would be.
And as tough as it was to say goodbye, it’s been just as tough going about our day without her. Who knew a tiny little old smelly mostly incontinent cocker who spent 23 hours of the day on a blanket could leave such a hole when she was gone. But she has.
When we take Jake outside, we instinctively look toward the dining room to see if she’s going to consider getting up and following us outside.
We keep leaving the garage door open, because that’s what we did when she was here – because it could take her ages to make her way from the dining room to the backdoor, even when she didn’t forget what she was doing and stop in the middle of the kitchen to figure it out.
When we’re outside with Jake, and it’s time to go in, we look for her to see how long we will have to stand there with the door open so she can make her way inside.
There are two bowls full of dog food in the kitchen. She didn’t get up off of her bed today until we forced her out at 9am and then she laid back down until we carried her to the car at 9:30. Jake hasn’t touched either bowl, and who knows whether that’s his old age or his confusion over not having Chanel around. Hard to say.
It’s weird to work all day and not have that geriatric mostly incontinent dog smell under your feet as she wanders from underneath TW’s desk to underneath mine and then back to her bed in the dining room.
TW had trouble cooking tonight without her. She’s used to having to do a weird dog dance to avoid stepping on the mostly deaf, mostly blind dog who wasn’t able to avoid getting stepped on. TW doing the dog dance without the dog… just wrong.
If Chanel’s first family (the family who lost a child while living at McGuire AFB NJ in 2000) happens to do a google search for Chanel or Big Jake… we did take good care of her, and we miss her.
My condolences to you all at this time. My heart truly goes out to you.
RIP Chane
letting go just sucks….she was lucky to have had those years with y’all’s family and I know she’ll be missed – good thoughts to y’all
Sending healing thoughts and wishes out to you and your family … I semi-recently had to let go of my old deaf and mostly blind dog, and it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. My sympathies.
The thought of TW doing the dog dance without the dog… it makes me sad.
You’re all in my thoughts.
We had to say goodbye to our 12-year old cat, Mickey, in January. I still see her curled up on the back of the chair or on the end of the couch. Turns out a lot of things look like a black cat sleeping.
As I’ve told others, making the decision to do it was hard. Living with the decision wasn’t as hard as I feared. I know I did the right thing, for her sake. But knowing that doesn’t make me miss her any less.
My heart goes out to all of you.
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I am SO SO sorry.
I don’t know what else to say.
May you find comfort in the fact that she knew she was loved. Sorry for your loss.
I’m so very sorry for all of you. That really stinks.
Can you email me? I’ve got a question for you and lost your email.
Oh man Denise, I’m so very sorry. Such a sad thing to read. If it’s any comfort to you, she did have a great family to love. Hugs to you and TW.
I am so sorry to read this. Our pets can be so special to us, and that empty spot is hard to deal with. Your love for her shines through this post, and I know she was very fortunate to have you and your family.