Shit Freezes

A few nights ago, Jake wanted to go outside so I hooked him to his chain and nudged him out the door. I sat on the hope chest in the bedroom with my book while he “went”. Time passes. I look up from my book, wondering why he hasn’t been scratching at the door or hasn’t nudged it open to come back inside.

He’s sitting on the ground with his left paw on the bottom step, just looking at me through the door.

I patted my leg, indicating he should come up the step and push the door open. He didn’t move.

I called him, which is idiotic since he’s deaf. He’s also almost blind so I doubt he could read my lips. But whatever. He just sat there.

I stood up, yes I was cursing. I opened the door. He stood up but did not make a move to come in. I admit it, I yelled at him to come in. He tensed like he was going to and then he sat back down. On the ground.

WTF? Is he stuck? What could he be stuck on?

I look behind him and sure enough, he’s stuck alright. Not wrapped around a pole or the slide, which is common behavior when it’s not freaking freezing. Instead, his chain is stuck behind…

a frozen piece of dog poop.

I put a foot on the first step and tug at his chain. It doesn’t budge.

I curse again and put a second foot on the very cold, frozen, slippery, disgusting step and yank that freaking chain as hard as I can.

The frozen poop flies off the ground, hits the dog in the ass and the dog bolts into the house.

He stops. He sits. He looks up at me, completely defeated.

Sigh.

I know how he feels.

Shit freezes here.