I am difficult to predict. I’m one small contradiction after another. I’m nuts. Ask anyone around here, they will tell you this is true. Oh don’t bother asking them, I’ll give you two Easter examples and you’ll see for yourself.
I am really not into the whole Christian Easter thing. Oh sure, I wake up ever Easter morning and say "He is risen" or post it on my private message board and I expect the children to know the proper response and to give it simply because it is Easter. But I’m not a Christian so I don’t really believe all of that crucifixion/resurrection thing except as a cool story that’s evolved from some really basic facts. That’s pretty much how I feel about all holidays.
Knowing this, you’d think I’d be comfortable attending the UU Fellowship on Easter. Instead, I really hate the UU on Easter. I hate it on Christmas too. But mostly on Easter. I hate it because I think it is ridiculous that UU ministers talk about how difficult this sermon is for them to preach. I hate it because I think it is ridiculous that a UU congregation that prides itself on its open-mindedness and its ability to embrace all beliefs would feel uncomfortable with the preaching of the Easter story in a more traditional sense. What exactly are UUs afraid of that they can’t handle sitting through an hour service with a minister telling the Easter story as Christians around the world are hearing it? Sheesh.
See – a contradiction. I’m not a Christian but I would rather hear a Christian Easter service than the tripe tossed out by UU ministers. (I will say that the Reverend Louise, who I generally dislike, made a good attempt at it today – and her sniffling through the sermon was sort of touching. She should have gone all out and given a good solid telling of Easter instead, though.)
Fast forward several hours to Easter dinner… TW asked the children what they thought my favorite part of Easter might be. E said "eggs benedict". Ha! no! TW explained that I do not eat eggs benedict as I stood in the kitchen giggling. (this revelation was just more fuel to the Denise is evil fire that we like to feed them) RJ suggested candy would be my favorite thing. Umm no, more giggling from me in the kitchen. TW said "Denise’s favorite part of Easter is the ham". Prince J said "Denise doesn’t eat ham, she’s a vegetarian"… I stepped around the corner with my plate… which did include ham. I showed it to Prince J and he just stared. RJ said "HUH?"
I explained that I do, in fact, eat ham on Easter. I can’t help it. Just like I can’t help eating a bit of turkey at Thanksgiving, the occasional horrible cheeseburger from McDonald’s and a Beef n Cheddar once in awhile on a road trip. Another contradiction.
I do love keeping people guessing but then I have been known to rant about how little people really know about me… (ack, a third contradiction I wasn’t going to share right now. Oh well, consider it a bonus.)
He is risen… and ham is good.
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