Kid Talk

OK this is for Lee, since she likes Chris stories so much.


My son came home from his girlfriend’s house. He walked in the front door. I yelled “hello” from the bedroom. He yelled “hello” back. He said “How’s it going?” I said “ok, how’s it going with you”. He said “I got stung by a scorpion.” I said “Huh? ummm have you been to the hospital?” He said “No, it’s fine.”


Ummm scorpions are bad. I know very little about them, having lived in areas where they weren’t really a problem. In fact I started to think “Does Florida even have them? Is my son delusional in the way that Michelle is in always thinking she’s been bit by a spider because the 1/2 child is constantly telling spider bite stories?”


So Chris is at the bedroom door and I am here on my laptop trying to remain calm as he tells me that it’s no big deal and his g/f has been stung a lot and I’m googling scorpions in Florida. Resisting the urge to call the hospital immediately and act like the freak out mom I’m NOT.


Thank goodness. He’s right. There are scorpions and Florida but it’s not that big of a deal. Except that they are as ugly as can be and I think he should avoid them and areas where they live in the future. Because the idea of one crawling on me is making me ill and Elvis Rat is beginning to look good compared to these things.


Sheesh.

I normally make educational posts on Fast Times or Storm School but today, you Daily Dosers are in luck because I’m talking about education right here.  In fact I’m talking about the SAT, woohooo! Does it get anymore exciting than SAT? Not when you’ve got a junior in high school it doesn’t.  Even if she is a) homeschooled b) dual enrolled in college.

So, there’s this SAT test preparation tool. Have you seen it? I hadn’t seen it until tonight.  I took the practice test, it took about 20 minutes.  Algebra is NOT my thing, folks.  I surprised myself with geometry.  No surprises with reading, writing, grammar – piece of cake. 

What is interesting about this SAT test preparation site is that once you finish the practice test, you can set up a study schedule.  It provides exercises in all of the different areas, it provides examples of all of the different types of questions.  You get some graphs that show your goals and your progress and of course a countdown to your scheduled test date.

Michelle’s taking an SAT prep class through FLVS right now but I think she’ll enjoy using this site as a supplement to that – she can use all of the math help she can get.  Darn it.  Go take the practice test, it’s sort of fun.  Then share your score with your high schooler.  That will also be fun.

Technorati Tags: SAT, SATprep, SATpreparation

Step away from Chris.  You know Chris, from Big Yellow House errr Notes from the Trenches errr In the Trenches of Motherhood.  It’s ok, step away from the crazy woman.  I know you love her.  I know you would happily follow her around her house, watching her every move, learning from her every thought.  I know you would gladly paint her house yellow just so she could be the Big Yellow House woman again.  I know how you feel.  I feel that way too.  I also know that she scared you today.  She scared you and you wanted to run and hide in a closet.  But insanity is fascinating and it’s alluring and dangerous.  Just step away.  Come sit by me where it is safe.

It is safe here.  You and I, we understand each other.  That whole spreadsheet, rubbermaid bin thing Chris is talking about, that’s just nuts.  We know this.  You and I, we’re normal.  We just toss all of the kids’ clothes into a trash bag and throw it in a closet or the garage or the basement or the attic.  We intend to do something with it.  Something that doesn’t include spreadsheets.

When the seasons change, we have no rubbermaid bins.  We make kids try on clothes in their drawer, clothes from a plastic garbage bag and we take their word for it when they bring us clothes that don’t fit. 

We wake one morning to find the boy no longer has 12 pairs of kakhi pants because he’s grown an inch or he’s popped the buttons.  We wake that same morning to find the wee one’s skorts and skirts are an inch too short.  We wake one morning to find the 10 year old showing more cleavage than the 23 year old on date night at the Windjammer and her midriff is bared too.  We don’t understand how this could have happened when just last week they tried on all of their clothes and only appeared with a few things that didn’t fit.  We don’t understand how this could have happened when last week there were no bare midriffs, no ankles showing, no tummies or cleavage being exposed.

We don’t have a spreadsheet so when we run to the store to quickly purchase new items of clothing we’ve forgotten who it is that is exposing the tummy, whose pants are too short, whose skirts too short.  We give up and come home with one of everything and hope for the best.

We are normal.  Chris.  Well.  She is fascinating.  And insane.  And frightening.  But it’s ok, come sit by me where it is safe.  This pile of old clothes in garbage bags is soft and comfy.  Tomorrow Chris will post something just as fascinating but a little less frightening.  We’ll be ok until then.

By jove! I think he’s got it! I walked all of the way up there and completely forgot to take another picture of his monitor. He says he modified his monitor frame to have his initials in it. Maybe I’ll get Michelle to take a photo of it because I am surely not hobbling all the way up those stairs again anytime soon.

I think I’ll get Chris to pull the cover off of the old Compaq and we’ll see what Prince J can do with legos. I’m thinking we’ll see a really elaborate design from him now that he’s got the idea down pat.