Kid Talk

Daily Dose of Kids – The Meaning of Life

3 Comments / Day to Day, Kid Talk, Questions and Answers /

I picked the little girls up from school and they both launched into their list of homework for the day.  E happily informed me she had to write a story (as always on Monday).  It had to be a story about a time when she opened a box and could be fiction.  It had to be three whole paragraphs which is bad but it’s ok because she did not have to use her spelling words, yea!  So RJ being RJ launched into ideas for the story.  E grouchily told her NO each time.  So RJ launched into a rambling story about stealing a box from some evil mutant and opening it to find some weird bomb that she would have to difuse in order to save the world.  Upon difusing said bomb the world would be all chocolate and rainbows and happy goodness and at last we’d all know the meaning of life.

I said ummm that sounds like an RJ story and not an E story, so I don’t think it’s a good idea.  A good story, definitely but why the meaning of life, I asked?  "Well duh, everyone wants to know the meaning of life, don’t you," was her reply.  "I already know the meaning of life, so no I don’t need you to difuse a bomb and get some special power.  But thanks".

She was surprised that I knew the meaning of life and wanted me to spill the beans.  So I attempted to explain that some things you have to learn on your own – things like love and God or spirituality and the meaning of life because my answer might not be her answer.  She said "Oh like in Eragon when so and so couldn’t tell so and so his real name because he had to find it himself and get power from that".  Yea, she gets it!

So we talked along this vein for quite some time, pondering the books she’d read where a message like finding the answer for yourself and not accepting someone else’s answer is important.  Sometimes it seemed like she was really understanding this idea and then she’d head off into a ramble about tigers and bears and morphing (she’s an Animorphs fan) and how that’s not real but she learned lessons from that.  But then she’d head back into the other direction and talk some more about how to tell if you’re on the right path to finding the answers to those kinds of questions.  All very interesting, especially the part when she talks about sometimes getting confused about whether something she read in a Fantasy novel was real life and real life was really a fantasy.  Ha, she’s 10 after all!

The kicker of this was the final question, the one she seemed most interested in wanting an answer to… brace yourself… "Is there such thing as a living death?"   huh? she wants to know about vampires or zombies?  So I ask her to define living death.  "When you’re alive but something happens that is so awful you feel like it is death, like you’re dead."  Well.  Ummm.  I took a breath and said "Yes RJ, there is such a thing.  Not everyone has that kind of experience in their life,  but some people do feel like they have experienced a living death.  And if you want to talk about it more, we can do that when you’re older."   Which was fine with her because apparently living death  was a cool thing  because when I said it doesn’t happen to everyone she launched into Eragon again and something about dragon eggs only hatching for some people.  Geez.  So she thinks surving a living death means you’re special, like a dragon hatcher person?  And maybe this is something to strive for?  Are we sure I didn’t give birth to this particular child?   Because sometimes it really seems that way.

At least it appears as though we get to put off real life discussions about emotional pain and dying a thousand deaths for awhile.  Now I just have to figure out how to keep her talking about dragon eggs til she’s 20 or so… any ideas about how to do that?  With this particular child?  Because she’s making me nervous.

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Daily Dose of Kids – Memories

1 Comment / Day to Day, Kid Talk, Memories /

Badgerbag, on whom I have this weird blog crush fascination cause she scares me, wrote an interesting and thought provoking essay on Mommybloggers last week.  It inspired me to talk about a little childhood memory issue we laugh about here at the Flamingo House… Proof that a child’s memory of an event, even at the age of 11, is different from the memory her parents have of the same event.

Picture September of 2001, the week after 9/11.  I don’t know the exact date it was a weekend, still definitely September.  TW drove up to SC as she often did.  Chris was off somewhere with his friends and for some reason I decided we would go to the Clemson Little Theatre and see Cinderella.  With Michelle.  And before that, we would take her to dinner at Friends, our most favorite restaurant in Anderson.

Sounds ok, right?  Well ummm, no.  It was doomed from the start.  First of all, I am not at my best in September.  I’m moody and quiet and sullen and not in the mood to deal with anyone else’s feelings or moodyness.  Always a risk to do something unusual, not in the general routine of things or stressful with me in September.  And of course there was the fact that Michelle and TW were still feeling their way into this weird relationship.  Territorial behavior was always a possibility with them.  Again, not something I deal well with when I’m at my best and did I mention it was September?

We have dinner and that’s fine.  Weird but fine.  We drive to Pendleton and we’re ok.  TW on the aisle, me in the middle and then Michelle beside of me.  And for some reason, 9/11 maybe (?), they decided they needed to have us stand up for the National Anthem and then announced that we’d have a moment of silence in memory of those who lost their lives in 9/11.  This was too much for TW and she did what she always does … she giggled.  out loud.  during the moment of silence.  I wanted to kill her.  Michelle looked like she wanted to crawl under the seats and go sit with a normal family.

We survived the first portion of the play, and at intermission we wandered to a nice little room with food and beverage and I tried very hard not to just walk out and sit in the car for the rest of the play.  Michelle was quiet and stuck close to me and as far from TW as she could get.  It was not pretty.  We went back in, watched the rest of the play and then it was over.  We get in TW’s car – this was back when we still let TW drive lol and head home.

Five minutes into the drive, Michelle my hypochondriac child, began to threaten to barf.  Angel hair onion rings which she loved but we were evil for forcing her to eat.  Threatening to barf these angel hair onion rings because of TW’s driving.  It was making her queasy.  So TW stopped at the gas station, got into the backseat, put Michelle in front and I drove us home.  I was not amused by this.  At all.  I was done with the both of them.

We made it home.  Michelle barfed up her onion rings and swore never to eat them again.  (Even now, the smell of angel hair onion rings sends her to the bathroom.  Even mentioning them will get her to growl at you about barfing).  I collapsed and the rest of the evening in the dark attic bedroom was less than pretty. 

Since then TW and I have referred to the infamous Cinderella weekend – when nothing goes right, but you’re still together and glad to be together.  Michelle, however, often waxes poetic about what a great time she had going to see Cinderella with us at Clemson.  She does not seem to remember the moment of silence fiasco, her mother’s stoney silence or her whining that TW’s driving was what was causing her to feel like barfing.  No.  All she remembers was what a wonderful time she had at that doggone play.  With us.  Her two moms.  Who she loves.

Kids and memories.  You cannot predict what they will remember or what spin they will put to their memories.  All you can predict is that they won’t quite the same as yours.. 

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Daily Dose of Health – Vomit

3 Comments / Health and Wellness, Kid Talk /

I was all set to have a coffee date with two of my favorite coworkers, Snead and Leona when I get an email from Snead saying "sorry, can’t make it – Harry’s doing that vomiting thing again".  Darn.



I didn’t know what that vomiting thing was but regardless, it can’t be good.  Snead with auto-immune issues doesn’t need a bug in the house and who would want that cute boy to be sick?  Talked to Snead a bit later and she started describing what was going on – just out of the blue vomit, feel better thing that happens once every few weeks.  Weird.  Allergy?  But to what?  Or maybe, it’s this thing that TW and I are beginning to suspect with Michelle – Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome (free registration required).



I make a lot of jokes about my hypochondriac child (she gets that from her father’s side of the family) but maybe this is real?  She’s got a lot of the symptoms – happens around the same time every month, out of the blue, she has migraines and she has panic attacks.  It happens right before menstruation but we’ve tried hormonal birth control and that doesn’t seem to help.  Besides, her doctor says her hormone levels seem pretty ok.  Endo?  She doesn’t have all of the symptoms of that, but she does have some.



And yet, she’s always been the barf kid.  She didn’t tolerate breast milk or regular formula and only barely tolerated soy formula.  She gets car sick (and not just when TW drives).  She doesn’t handle food smells very well either.  She barfs when she’s eating a really well balanced diet.  She vomits when she’s eating junk food.  She vomits when she’s eating no food. She vomits vegetarian.  She vomits high protein.  You name it, she barfs.



So maybe it’s CVS?  Who knows, but Tuesday I’ll mention it to her doctor and probably get blown off.  It’s something to consider as we try and sort through this, isn’t it?



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Daily Dose of Life – Reflection

Day to Day, Holidays, Kid Talk, Memes and Quizzes /

A – Animoprhs reigned again this year as the series of choice for RJ. Barely beating out HP and the Half-Blood Prince. Here’s hoping she moves along in the new year.

B – Blogs, Blogs and more Blogs. They defined the year for us in ways I cannot even begin to explain. And I suspect they’ll be on any reflecting over 2006 list we may create next year.

C – Melissa got off the boat but TW and I stayed on the cruise in January. I don’t want to cruise again and TW doesn’t either but we oddly spent some time pondering queer family cruises and author cruises and Panama Canal cruises. Weird what cruising does to you. It’s something they put in the water or the food or something. My mom, aka sockmouth grandma, has moved part time to Charlotte to be closer to the Heir to the Throne.

D – My old Dodge Caravan no longer lives in the driveway. I signed it over to Chris when his Camry died in January and then he traded it in for a Tercel at the end of the summer. E and I miss the Caravan quite a bit. It was part of our history and it was sad to let it go.

E – A very large elephant has been purchased in the hope of having a grandchild to give it to next year. Jenn & Ronnie are officially “trying” (though have not yet succeeded).

F – Who’d have thunk Prince Joe would choose to play the flute… and almost enjoy it for more reasons than practicing has the potential to drive his family insane? Who also would have guessed his weird FCAT testing science fair project would net him a ribbon and inclusion into the regional science fair? Educational standards are weird.

G – Gamecube was purchases, as promised, when the Prince held up his end of the bargain and our lives have not been the same. Unfortunately he is no longer holding up his end of the bargain but the Gamecube remains. We need to work on that. E became Gameboy crazy, as well and the Grace Bridge is no more.

H – Homeschool or school at home? Whatever, we’re still doing it with Michelle. Speaking of Michelle, hair color and style changed and changed and changed. 2 of the 3 Hermit Crabs live on! Hazel the pink roomba has been a much loved addition to our lives.

I – My iRiver birthday gift is the BEST! 6 MP3 players entered our lives and the iRivers beat the iPods and the Samsung and the Creative hands down! TW and I enjoyed our first (and so far only) trip to IKEA in October. We need an IKEA!

J – RJ has discovered Practical Jokes, thanks to Nick magazine. She’s not very good at them but she tries hard and it’s amusing.

K – Keep, Sell, Trash! The fixation TW and I have acquired for Clean Sweep resulted in a Clean Sweep Birthday for me! We’ve not really been all that successful at following through but we’ve made some attempts and that counts for something, right?

L – Chris moved out of the house and in with his g/f and her mom in LaCrosse. We thought he would be moving back in before the end of the year but the move back home date has moved to February. The lemon tree finally produced lemons! 4 NEW laptops came into our home, 3 have survived!

M – Middle School for his highness, Prince J and magnet school for RJ and E. This means a lot of driving and a lot of pretty tough homework for all three.

N – Neopets have lost their lustre, a little. But our pets haven’t died!

O – TW got an office! With a Window! Joy!

P – Jenn and Ronnie PCS’d to Charleston and that makes me happy, happy, happy! PRIUS aka whaleyboy car! TW got me a PRIUS, for CHRISTMAS! And she didn’t really violate any Denise rules to do it.

Q – Qatar was on our radar and will be again next year.

R – Riley aka Heir to the Throne joined the family in July. I still say my sister should go back to being Childfree By Choice… and give me the baby!! The dirtbag retired after 25 years in the USAF. And, E is still rat crazy and created a rat sun bedroom to prove it.

S – RJ is still synchronized swimming. Though she seems less enamoured than in previous years. In fact, “oh man do I have to go?” is frequently heard when she’s asked to get her suit on and find her goggles and nose clips.

T – Tree work was finally authorized and accomplished. Good for the backyard and our electric and cable wires. Not so good for the front yard where the much loved tree in front is less loved because it is not so cool. Three turtles remain and are threatening to take over the living room.

U – Ulcerative Colitis is out, Crohn’s is in. Whoopeee.

V – We three women, (TW, Michelle and I), finally saw the Vagina Monologues at UF, together.

W – “My girlfriend the webmaster” is a phrase often heard around here. TW got a maddening nice new job in her department.

X – RJ’s x-rays after a skating incident led to a cast over the summer. Not so fun when you love to swim and scooter.

Y – My yellow smiely coffee mug lives on, who would have guessed it would have survived this long (10+ years).

Z – Chris is pondering life as a zookeeper, veterinarian or some other animal type handler. This means he’s going to have to go back to school, doesn’t it? And stay in, doesn’t it?

Originally seen on Underpaid Kept Woman!

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Daily Dose of Holidays – Advent Angst

Christmas, Daily Dose, Family Funk, Holidays, Kid Talk, Pet Peeves /

advent.jpgI have an Avon advent calendar that my ex mil gave me in 1987. It looks exactly like the one in this picture except right now it has a tiny Starbucks reindeer in it instead of the mouse. The mouse is missing. Again. It does that and has always done that. Missing for years much to the dismay of my children only to reappear again a few years later for one trip through the calendar and then back it goes into hiding. We had the mouse last year. This year, no mouse. It’s ok. We make do. But we still say “move the mouse” when we discuss whose turn it is, whose turn it isn’t and whose turn it is never going to be again if you don’t stop whining about that darn mouse.

Did you detect some frustration there? This advent calendar has a history of causing angst amongst my oldest three children and for the last three years it has caused angst among the youngest three.

His highness, Prince J, only causes a stink over it when he wants to annoy another sibling (preferably Princess E or Princess M). He really doesn’t care about the mouse at all. Moving it is like work. Someone else can do it and if they don’t, Christmas still comes. Work for no reason. No thanks.

RJ really doesn’t have advent calendar issues because she is perfect and always bows to the will of any sibling in the room. (she does this because later she can play the martyr role. I know this because it’s a trait often shared by those with October birthdays. Not me of course, but others. Born in October…)

That leaves Princess E. The baby in the family. Those of you who have experience with “the baby in the family” probably understand exactly what has been going on. But there is a twist to the story…

The twist is that Princess E is not the only “baby in the family”. Princess M, generally referred to as Michelle (the 16 year old with the hair), is also the “baby in the family”. These two girls have been having “move the mouse issues” virtually non-stop since the calendar went up. If E moves it to the proper pocket, Michelle will move it back a day and then move it forward – and then tell E she did it later on. E will do the same thing to Michelle. What’s even better is when Michelle comes home at midnight and says “ohhhh it’s tomorrow, I can move the mouse” when she knows it is E’s turn to do it. When E is not here and not going to be here for a few days, and it’s just Michelle, I have to actually REMIND Michelle to move the mouse. She can go days and not think of it but as soon as E is home or coming home, she goes into move the mouse first, last and only mode!

Advent calendars are a pain if you have more than one child. But they are a real nightmare if you have two “baby in the family” children to deal with!

Edited on 12/24/05 – The mouse came out of hiding! And I’m the one who put him in the FINAL little pouch! hahahahahaha! That’ll teach those princesses!

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Daily Dose of Music – Not so Random 10

Holidays, Kid Talk, Sights & Sounds /

Today I’m dropping some music onto Jenn’s iRiver, it’s her Christmas present, so do not tell!), and it’s fun but difficult at the same time. I haven’t spent much time with her in the last 4 years so there are huge blanks where I have no idea what her favorite songs were. Sniff sniff! It will be fun to see her reaction to what I’ve downloaded for her and more fun to hear what she will want to download for herself.

Here’s a random 10 list from what I’m downloading for her:

1) Every Breath You Take – Police (number 1 when she was born)
2) Ice Ice Baby – Vanilla Ice (man she loved Vanilla Ice lol)
3) Lump – Presidents of the United States (we loved it when this came on MTV!)
4) Like a Virgin – Madonna (she adored Madonna, wanted to be Madonna!)
5) I’ll Make Love to You – Boyz II Men (…hahaha family joke)
6) When I Come Around – Green Day (reminds me of her and Audrey and Chanae too a little bit)
7) Changes – 2Pac (yes dear, he really is dead)
8) Wannabe – Spice Girls (I can’t bring myself to put Mmmbop on there so this will have to do)
9) Wonderwall – Oasis (I think she wore this CD out)
10) Strawberry Wine – Deana Carter (for Jenn AND Ronnie because I heard that this was their song about the time they were married)

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Daily Dose of Kids – Teens – Hair

1 Comment / Day to Day, Kid Talk /

Hairtimelinenew_1

Everytime I download pictures from my digital camera I see photos of Michelle (who is the almost 16 year old) and her latest hair style. The child has her own digital camera but she either can’t find it or the batteries are dead, so she uses mine to photograph her latest hair design. I’ve saved these all year long and I’ve been saying I was going to do a “Year In Michelle” feature … well Michelle beat me to it! I’m not 100% sure she captured every hair change over the year, if she didn’t, we’ll update it. Until then – Enjoy! And tell us which “hair” you like best!

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Daily Dose of Kids – Premature Babies

Health and Wellness, Kid Talk /

Today, November 15, is Prematurity Awareness Day – so get aware! Visit SHARE, Medline, iVillage (man I miss Parent Soup – I even miss Parentsplace, which is frightening) and WebMD.

Or, just click these links to SHARE and jump in quickly!

* Learn about the Preemie Act
* Join a Discussion
* Read Some Blogs
* Donate

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