GLBT

Mary Cheney: Now It’s My Turn

In order to talk about Now It’s My Turn, I probably should tell you how I felt about Mary Cheney before I read her book and how I felt about her during the 2000 election, too.

In 2000, I thought Bush made a good choice in Cheney for VP. I had no real feelings about Mary Cheney except that it’s too bad her orientation will be used in the campaign. But, since it is the republican party that has been responsible for discrimination of GLBTs in recent years, I didn’t have a whole lot of sympathy for her.

When the campaign got going and she and her family seemed so shocked and insulted that HER orientation would be used in the campaign, I thought their acting was pretty bad. To ever think she wouldn’t be used throughout the campaign, by both sides, was ridiculous and to pretend to be shocked and appalled was simply stupid. But even so, well into the first term, I had no issues with Mary or with her father.

But my feelings changed when Bush started pushing so hard for an amendment to the constitution that would very specifically discriminate against gays and lesbians. The idea that Mary Cheney would continue to work for a president who thought it was fine to add discriminatory language to our constitution was enough to send me over the edge. And then to be so angry and so insulted when she was again used during the campaign in 2004 – well that did it, I lost all respect.

Now about her book… I was moving along just fine, and I liked her just fine, until she got to the 2004 election and started talking about her decision to stick with the campaign even though she did not agree with Bush’s defense of marriage act…. even though her father (and the rest of her family) did not agree with such an amendment…. even though staff member after staff member told her that they did not agree with President Bush…. even though a staff member called her in fear of his job because he thought he was going to be outed….

Mary says she stuck with President Bush because she believed he was the candidate who could lead this country and under his leadership we would live in a country where GLBT and marriage could be discussed. And apparently, under democratic leadership we would become so weak that we could no longer discuss such an issue. Ummm Huh? That makes absolutely no sense to me. It’s an excuse and a poor one. It’s smoke that Mary has thrown up to take the heat for being too weak to stand up for what she believes in – or to come right out and say, “I don’t really care about the constitution of the US right now, I care about getting my dad back into office.”

How could supporting a president who thinks it’s perfectly fine to write discriminatory language into the constitution be good for our country?

Mary talks about the interracial marriage issue, as compared to the GLBT marriage issue) and the fact that it took 40 years to get those laws overturned. She doesn’t think it would take 40 years to end discrimination against gays. How long does she think it might take? She doesn’t say. And in the meantime, doesn’t it bother her that people (like that staff member) are terrified of losing their jobs? (and they don’t have her daddy there to help them keep their jobs, like that staff member did)

Doesn’t it concern her that the more President Bush pushes this discriminatory language, the more power it gives to those who would choose to physically, emotionally and economically attack GLBT people? What about all of those young people who are victims of verbal or physical assault right now – what happens to them when Mary’s choice for president manages to get that amendment passed? Even if it doesn’t pass, he has still given people like him the confidence and the ammunition to attack more young people, doesn’t that bother her? Oh wait, it’s ok because it won’t take 40 years for us to “overcome” like it did peple in interracial marriages. I guess Mary has decided that all of the gay folks who suffer under President Bush’s administration aren’t important. Maybe those folks she considers “acceptable losses”.

I have absolutely no issue with Mary Cheney the lesbian conservative republican, I like lesbian conservative republicans. I do have an issue with Mary Cheney’s choice to work on that campaign with full knowledge that the president believes discriminatory language belongs in our constitution. I take issue with her ability to blow smoke and scream foul when the democrats used her orientation to prove a point (or two or three) while she stood by and supported that president and his efforts to change our constitution in this manner.

Mary Cheney’s book – bah, just like Mary Cheney herself – all smoke and mirrors. I respect her dad just fine but I don’t respect her.

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Daily Dose of Heteronormativity

I had a lot of fun with the folks who labeled Blogher as "heteronormative" – a lot of fun in the sarcastic I’m really annoyed way.  Heteronormativity is a problem but heteronormativity wasn’t a problem at Blogher.  If people really want to point the hteronormative finger at something, then they ought to do it at the real things. 

Let’s look at some recent examples of heteronormativity in my life.

1) I can’t tell you how many forms, online and off, I’ve seen that ask for my gender and then give me only two choices.  Male or female.  That is heteronormativity at work.  Everyone is either male or female in the hetero world.

2) Filling out college enrollment forms, Michelle found a section for information about her mother and her father.  These very specifically said "mother" and "father" not parents.  In the heteronormative world, everyone has a mom and a dad.  Nobody was born of artificial insemination from a sperm donor and raised by two moms.  Nobody was adopted by two dads.  Everyone has both a mom and a dad, or did at one time and should have all of the nice information for those college forms, right?

3) I went to the ER on Saturday.  Upon check-in I was asked if I was single, married, divorced or widowed.  Umm one of the above but also "other".  In the hetero world, everyone is one of those four things.

4) I joined a website for moms recently.  Since the site is for moms, they assumed my gender, which is fine with me.  They then asked me the traditional 4 – single, married, divorced or widowed.  Hmmm.  I am divorced but that doesn’t really cover my status properly.  I am anti-marriage but married fit my situation the best so I chose that one.  Later in the profile process, they asked for my husband’s name.  Umm.  Heteronormitivity at work, folks.

5) If you have a child in your life who goes to school, you’ve invariably seen the all about me worksheets and genealogy assignments.  There are some good worksheets and assignments that simply tell students to chart their parents and their parents parents etc… but more often than not, there’s a spot specifically for a mother and specifically for a father.  No problem in our family, our kids have both but that’s heteronormative – again, what about the kids who were adopted by two dads or inseminted via sperm donor and don’t have fathers but instead have two moms? 

This is the stuff heteronormativity is made of.  What we saw at Blogher wasn’t heteronormativity.  At no time was I asked to fill out a form that made assumptions about my gender or relationship status.  The Mommyblogging panel was not labeled "Mommyblogging is a radical act so you’d better prepare your husband for it." The monetizing panel wasn’t suggesting you monetize your blog so your husband can quit his job and stay home to make videos about his Crocs.  Susie Bright’s sex panel wasn’t labeled "Let’s talk about heterosex." 

No there wasn’t a session specifically labeled GAY but that doesn’t scream heteronormative – it screams inclusiveness.   It means Bloghercon’s organizers had no agenda, they left the agenda up to those who attended the sessions.  It means Bloghercon didn’t make assumptions about the participants instead, they left it up to us to define ourselves.  There is nothing heteronormative about that.

 

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Daily Dose of Blogathon – Charity

I had planned to participate in the Blogathon this year but it is at the same time as the Blogher conference.  I can’t manage to attend and blog for 24 hours at the same time.  ๐Ÿ™  I’m going to try and drop by throughout the day (and night) though to keep these bloggers company, and thank them for their efforts.  I’m also going to send in a donation.  You’re going to send donations, too.  It’s the least you can do.

Tricia is blogging for the Crohns & Colitis Foundation.  She’s got a good blog and I appreciate her efforts very much.

This one is totally and completely unplanned but it seems like fate so I’ll be sending a donation…. Flamingo Legion is blogging for DFW Cocker Spaniel Rescue.  How fate-like is THAT, after all?

Seeworthy is blogging for GLSEN and I always donate to GLESN.  You should donate too.  Kids are important.

Last but not least, Random Again is blogging for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society.  I’ll be making a donation in honor of Amanda and Eric.

Who are you going to support during Blogathon 2006?  You will be showing your support, won’t you? 

Blogathon2006wide

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The Night Watch

I really do like Sarah Waters and her books, except for Affinity. The Night Watch started slowly, as her books tend to start, but just as I start to wonder if she’s written a dud I realize I’ve been lured in and need to read, all the way through without stopping.

The only complaint I have about The Night Watch is that I really wish she hadn’t written it backwards. I think I would have enjoyed it more if the stories had been a progression, rather than moving backwards through time. I’m not sure why she moved backwards in this story, I don’t see the point, I don’t think anything was gained by the reader. I don’t think anything would have been lost if she had started in 1941 and moved forward. I’ve read some reviews and people either loved or hated the reverse.

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Daily Dose of Cupcake Toppers – PRIDE Revisited

Several people have searched for PRIDE cupcake toppers so let’s revisit the possiblities, particularly since this is PRIDE weekend all over the darn place. (I wish I was going to Atlanta PRIDE! If you go, could you please boot Melissa’s show(s)???? and send me a copy???)

stikr11.jpgLast time I mentioned rainbow sprinkles and rainbow sugar toppers – how about grabbing some rainbow stickers and some toothpicks and turning them into mini PRIDE flags? That would be cute, right?
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Daily Dose of Queer Republicans

Well, I listened to the Dr Helen/Instapundit podcast with Mary Cheney.  I wasn’t impressed.  I’m very glad I didn’t break down and order Cheney’s book when I discovered it wasn’t available at my library.  I’m not anti-gay-marriage republican, I live with one of those ya know.  I’m not pro-gay marriage, either, so I thought I might actually agree with something Mary Cheney had to say.  Or I might even appreciate her point of view.  I did agree that "there are many, many points of views regarding gay marriage".  I didn’t agree with anything else she said and I felt like she was still just giving the party line – like there was no real passion behind what she said – except maybe at the end, when she talked about her mother.  Maybe.

She and Dr Helen think it’s a shame democrats spend so much time talking about whether you’re gay or you aren’t gay.  She and Dr Helen think it isn’t important to talk about such things or acknowledge such things.  They think it just doesn’t matter if you’re gay.  They would be right – except the extreme right cares.  The extreme right cares so much that they don’t want to acknowlege gay people at all.   It’s don’t ask/don’t tell to the extreme.

Mary Cheney talked about how great her parents were when she came out.  I think that’s terrific.  Unfortunately neither of her parents have been very forthcoming with that information which leads a great many conservatives to believe they should not behave the way Mary says her parents behaved.  People learn from example Ms Cheney.  People learn acceptance by seeing it modeled.  They don’t learn it by having it swept aside, by pretending it isn’t necessary or the need doesn’t exist.   Your father hugged you and told you he loved you when you came out.  Good for you.  Wouldn’t it be nice if he felt comfortable saying that out loud, to everyone in the world?  Wouldn’t it be nice if your father, that great role model in your life, and your mother the even greater role model in your life, stepped up to the plate and became role models for an entire country?  Wouldn’t it have been terrific if you’d said that 8 years ago?  It would have been.  But now, it just feels hollow.  Maybe even untrue. Maybe just a little bit like politics.

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