GLBT

Daily Dose of PRIDE – Coming Out Day

Community Chest, GLBT /

Comeout
Once upon a time (5 years ago), in a land that no longer exists (women.com), I had the pleasure (not) of moderating a message board called “Coming Out”. What a joke that was. Looked good on paper, I suppose, but whoever decided a “Coming Out” board would be a good idea in an only marginally lesbian/bi friendly women’s community didn’t ask any real lesbians.

It was rare for anyone to use that board to tell their coming out story. It was rare for anyone to ask for advice about coming out. And when people did post their stories or ask for advice, it was like talking to an empty room. Nobody (except me) was really listening. And, to put it bluntly, I’m not all that “Coming Out Friendly”. I tend to advise on the side of caution, especially when listening to a 16 year old girl who lives with homophobic parents or a married woman of 35 who THINKS she has a great husband who will understand. These are not the best living conditions in which to decide to “Come Out”.

I also am not hugely fond of making “Coming Out” a huge production. Why make people you care about feel any more uncomfortable than they need to feel right off the bat? You’re about to spring some pretty rough information on people, why not keep it low key in the beginning? What’s the real benefit to you to make a production? I understand not wanting to lie or pretend. I understand the whole “If they don’t support me then I don’t need them” feeling. I understand the need to be really loud in order to hide your own fear and discomfort at such a pronouncement. But really folks, low key has always worked pretty well for me. There’s time later for celebration and NOISE.

Regardless of how you came out, regardless of how you might still come out, celebrate the day. Regardless of how you have reacted to a coming out or how you might react to a coming out, celebrate the day. It isn’t easy, no matter how it’s done.

There are some interesting coming out stories on the HRC National Coming Out Day site. Check those out and don’t miss Tom – he has interesting advice to share.

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I love banned books

6 Comments / Banned Books, Favorites, GLBT, Reading Lists /

I don’t really want to ban that stupid Modesty book because then that will just make it more beloved to the masses. We all know that’s what happens when a book is banned or challenged. It’s certainly happened for me. If we’re just talking about books and someone mentions Ordinary People, I’m likely to say “It was ok but no big deal” but as soon as I see it on the Banned/Challenged List I get all sentimental about it. Absence or the potential for absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?

I’m thrilled that three of the most challenged books last year had gay themes or undertones. (Yippee! Next year let’s get four!) Not because I’m all that thrilled with the books themselves, (though The Perks of Being a Wallflower is a favorite around here), but because those gay and not really all that great books are getting more attention than if folks had just kept their mouths shut about them. I mean really, “King & King”? Who would have given that a second look if folks hadn’t made such a stink. It certainly wasn’t going to replace Grimm’s Fairy Tales in the classic Prince and Princess love story genre, was it?

And since I’m on the topic of Banned and Challenged Books, can someone explain to me how Song of Solomon is porn? Because I don’t get it. At all. It’s not even erotica. If I handed Song of Solomon to Michelle and told her it was porn, she’d laugh her rear end off. And I’m glad.

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Mass Murderers & Teen Sleuths

2005, Books in Bed, Favorites, GLBT, Mystery /

It was a slow reading week for me but would have been slower if it hadn’t been for the car service fiasco. Work has been a little busy, moderators on vacation and such, and blogging has been even busier.

I skipped over a large stack of books that TW has already read in favor of Dearly Devoted Dexter. I was more excited about the release of the second Dexter than I was about Harry Potter and it did not let me down.

We discovered Darkly Dreaming Dexter last year, right before we headed to Miami for a cruise. It was amusing to drive down along the docks of Miami and see all of those metal storage containers that played such a large role in Darkly Dreaming.

Dexter is a bad bad guy. He’s not even really human. But he looks human and most people find him pretty charming. Women seem to fall at his feet and he’s not sure what to do about that. What he’d rather do is let his “dark passenger” take over and just KILL. But, he doesn’t…unless a really really BAD person comes along. Preferably one who is not nice to children, that’s Dexter’s preferred victim.

The Dexter books manage to be funny and gruesome at the same time, but not in the way a Christopher Moore slasher novel would be. It’s hard to explain, you just have to read it for yourself and find out.


After Dexter, I grabbed the next book from the library stack with a quickly approaching return date and that just happened to be Confessions of a Teen Sleuth. What a switch from Dexter to a grown up Nancy Drew! Ha!

I was a huge Nancy Drew fan as a kid. I’d use my allowance every weekend to buy a new Nancy Drew book and finish it within a couple of hours. Then I’d beg my mom or dad to take me to Sam Solomon’s (which was closer than the bookstore and a place my parents seem to like pretty well so it seemed like a good shot…) and get them to buy me another one – because I was bored and I neeeeeeded to read another and another and another. I didn’t read them all, I got sidetracked by adult novels or something – I’m blaming The Female Eunuch because I know I read that around the same time as I was reading the last of my Nancy Drews. Germaine Greer, DAMN YOU!

OK back to this little “parody”, it was ok. Not great. I like the gay girl version better but it had it’s amusing moments. Nancy and Frank Hardy and their love child that grew up thinking he was Ned’s child. Ha! Very amusing, indeed.

I’m about to pick up a book by another of my favorite authors but I’ll tell you about that in a couple of days…

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Daily Dose of Music – Ani

GLBT, News and Politics, Sights & Sounds /

There are about ten posts I want to make, maybe even need to make, and here I am writing about Ani of all people/things. What is up with that? I can’t even say it is because Michelle is asking me if she can use Ani’s poetry for her honors American Government assignment on Ayn Rand’s Anthem. I was already thinking about writing about Ani before Michelle woke up!

Anyway, what was I thinking about? A whole muddle of things, which makes sense because Ani is a whole muddle of things, isn’t she? First, the poor thing can’t tour because of some pretty severe tendonitis. I know there are a whole lot of disappointed people out there but I’ve not been all that impressed with her shows. The first time I saw her, with her band, there were some annoying chicks standing next to us and that might have colored my experience a bit. The second time was at Calliopefest without her band – boring, boring, boring.

And since I’m blogging about Ani, I should mention PBS is rerunning the River of Song series in some areas. I’ve never seen it so maybe I should just see about getting the video or something?

And then there’s the song “4th of July” song that I keep hearing on this Yahoo Launchcast station that I listen to. What CD is this on? I’ve owned them all and been a fanatic over them all at various points in my life and this one has just never caught my ear before.

Oh and if that’s not enough Ani rambling, I need a baby just so I can dress her in this, lol. I don’t think it would suit the heir to the throne, darn it.

And none of this Ani stuff actually led to anything, except that it’s felt like an Ani sort of day. Maybe because I’m not feeling very “user friendly”, something Ani also isn’t. Maybe because I miss my kid again. Mabye it’s all of the Choice stuff flying around the Blogosphere – who can think pro-choice and not think of Ani?

Whatever the reason, I felt like an Ani post and that’s probably reason enough.

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Daily Dose of Sexuality – Blogathon

GLBT /

Danielle on Coming Out is blogging for a great and often overlooked organization – GLSEN.

GLSEN stands for the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network and their goal is to make sure that ever single student is treated with respect, regardless of orientation. GLSEN does great work on campuses all over the country but because their focus is on kids and young adults, there’s often a shortage of funds for programs.

Visit Danielle, she’s talking about when she realized she was a lesbian, how that felt in school and how it felt coming out 15 years after she realized she was so not straight. Offer a comment to her to keep her blogging and sponsor her if you can, kids and young adults need your support. (and she had a disappointment today, so cheer her up, please.)

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Daily Dose of Sexuality – Blogathon

GLBT /

Annissa on Life as His is blogging today for PFLAG – way to go Annissa (she’s anything but, umm, boring, lol – adult content, folks!) and way to go PFLAG! She’s already raised $1000 as of this posting and that’s fantastic!

PFLAG stands for Parents, Family and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (and Bis and Trans too!) and they offer tremendous support of the gay folk and the families of gay folk. You know those older, straight looking people leading the pack in small city PRIDE events, that’s probably PFLAG. They always look pretty happy, don’t they? 😉

They’ve got great education material, they work hard to be advocates for the cause and you can find a chapter near you to join if you’re so inclined.

Stop by and wish Annissa well in her blogging today and sponsor her if you can. PFLAG is a very worthy cause indeed.

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Daily Dose of Health – Blogathon

GLBT, Health and Wellness /

Chris is blogging for Elton John’s Aids Foundation and seems pretty lonely on her section of the Blogosphere! Stop by and offer your support, financial or moral – both are encouraged!

Speaking of lonely, is there a lonelier disease than AIDS? If there is, I can’t think of it. Just imagine. Sigh.

When I was surfing through the Blogathon Campaigns I didn’t see many people blogging for AIDS charities and it made me sad (and a little surprised – I thought I’d see more).

I have spent a lot of time talking to people on AIDS message boards over the years. Sometimes as a volunteer and sometimes as a paid moderator and their stories of loneliness and fear are heartwrenching, to say the least. And then there are the people who don’t have a clue about what HIV/AIDS is, how it can be contracted and who is actually at risk (which is anyone, not just gay men!).

Elton John’s Aids Foundation is working to raise money to help increase education and awareness and care for those with the disease. It’s a worthy cause and a cause that has touched you, whether you know it or not.

Stop by and encourage Chris as she blogs today (and tonight). Sponsor her if you can or just say hello! She’s doing a good thing, make sure you let her know you support her.

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Daily Dose of Anger – Don’t Tell

GLBT, News and Politics, Pet Peeves /

Military ousts more gays for online ads – Read the article, I’m not summarizing this one because it’s long and you need to read it all, especially if you’re GLBT and considering military service! Sheesh!

I just don’t understand why people, gay or straight, or so appalled and up in arms and just plain surprised when active duty military members are released from service due to online personals ads. Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell doesn’t just mean your superiors won’t ask and it doesn’t mean you’re ok as long as you don’t go up to another active duty person and proclaim your gayness. It means you CANNOT TELL ANYONE YOU ARE GAY, except maybe your doctor and that doesn’t happen in military clinics too much – trust me on that.

Let me help you folks who are gay and serving or gay and considering serving. YOU CANNOT TELL, not on a message board not on a blog, not on a personal ad and not in a chatroom, not in an email, not in a telegram (too bad this all doesn’t rhyme, I could do Daily Dose of Dr Seuss!). You cannot talk about being gay and you cannot live gay AT ALL because if you do and someone finds out and reports you then you have violated your enlistment and you can (and should be, because you knew the rules when you raised your right hand) discharged.

You may not like Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. I may not like it either. But those are the rules, right now. Either live with them or violate them, but do not be surprised when your career suffers because of your violation.

Personally I would prefer you not enlist if you cannot live within the rules of military service. Crummy rule or not, you’re wasting tax payer dollars by being brought up on these charges. Paperwork and man hours lost might not be a big deal when you compare it with bombs and searches for WMD but it’s bugging the heck out of me. Don’t ask, Don’t tell or Don’t Join.

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Daily Dose of Gender

GLBT /

WebMD so graciously provided me with the perfect daily dose, I should figure out how to thank them for this. Oh wait, blogging about them is thanks enough, right?

What Makes Girls Play House and Boys Play War?

So how exactly does that explain the girly boy whose parents encourage him and model boy behaviors? How does that explain the tomboys whose parents encourage and model girl behaviors? It doesn’t, does it?

Does that mean that the feminine boy who grows into a less than masculine man had feminine modeling done for him? Or that his father or male role model wasn’t as strong as the mother or female role model? I just can’t buy that, except maybe where my own son is concerned, lol. Heck, he’s more girly than I am most of the time and his father hates every ounce of that girlishness. It might mean that in J’s case though, but that’s another story entirely.

Does that mean the masculine girl who grows into a less than feminine woman did so simply because of genetics? And no other outside factors played a role? No role modeling plays a part? Have I had no influence in my girls? Has TW had no influence in hers?

It seems to be just another study hell-bent on supporting the more relaxed view society takes on lesbians and the much stronger negative views held toward gay men.

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The Homosexual Agenda

Daily Dose, GLBT /

I know that many of you have heard Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, and others speak of the “Homosexual Agenda,” but no one has ever seen a copy of it. I have finally obtained a copy directly from the Head Homosexual. So we’re all up to speed, it follows below:

The Homosexual Agenda:

6:00 am Gym

8:00 am Breakfast

9:00 am Hair appointment

10:00 am Shopping

12:00 PM Brunch

2:00 PM (Here’s the really important part)

1) Assume complete control of the US Federal, State and local Governments as well as all other national governments
2) Recruit all straight youngsters to our debauched lifestyle
3) Destroy all healthy heterosexual marriages
4) Replace all school counselors in grades K-12 with agents of Colombian and Jamaican drug cartels
5) Establish planetary chain of “homo breeding gulags” where over -medicated imprisoned straight women are turned into artificially impregnated baby factories to produce prepubescent love slaves for our devotedly pederastic gay leadership
6) Bulldoze all houses of worship
7) Secure total control of the INTERNET and all mass media for the exclusive use of child pornographers.

2:30 PM Get Forty Winks of Beauty Rest to prevent facial wrinkles from stress of world conquest

4:00 PM Cocktails

6:00 PM Light Dinner

8:00 PM Theater

11:00 PM Bed

ARghhhhhhhh I don’t think I’ve managed to complete a single task on my agenda today! Oh wait, I took TW for HER hair appointment this afternoon and I did have a slice of pizza while I was working around 6:30pm. I need to get with the program before they take my membership card away from me!

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