August 2005

Daily Dose of Health – Blogathon

Health and Wellness /

As I’ve mentioned before, TW has Ulcerative Colitis. In support of Webgrits and her blogging efforts on behalf of CCFA I’m going to talk a bit about that. Click the links, go support Kelly while she and her brother blog for the cause!

Ulcerative Colitis is an auto-immune disease and it stinks! A lot. TW takes a wide range of medicines and none of them work all that well, in fact their side effects are as bad as the disease and are often worse! The finding of medications that would help has been really rough. The first drug, Asacol actually put her in the hospital almost immediately after diagnosis, for ten days. It was not fun.

Now she’s doing ok on Imuran but it works to suppress the immune system. This means that anytime one of the kids (remember, we have a lot of kids) gets sick, TW is at risk for getting REALLY sick. Anytime someone comes to work sick, she’s at risk for getting REALLY sick. She has trouble sleeping and sometimes she has trouble staying FOCUSED.

Eating is a problem, and considering I already have problems with eating, this is a real issue. We were told upon diagnosis that there isn’t really a list of foods to avoid but have since made some food discoveries of our own. Peanut butter is not good, which is bad since TW loves Reese’s Peanut Butter cups (when they are in season). Cole slaw is also out, which is troubling because it’s one of our favorites. Greens in general are bad, again troubling since we are vegetarians. And meat is really not good but that’s ok, lol. I could go on but you’re getting the picture, aren’t you?

If you have UC (or Crohn’s) and are looking for an online support group, WebMD recently added a Crohn’s & Colitis message board that has some very knowledgeable members who are always happy to offer feedback and support.

Now that you know a bit about UC and how it troubles our lives, head over to Webgrits and offer your support during Blogathon! And pledge if you can!

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Daily Dose of Charity – Blogathon!

Daily Dose /

The 2005 Blogathon has begun!

I meant to surf through all of the campaigns last week and sponsor some, offer moral support to others and set up feeds for them all. Of course I procrastinated and am feeling horrible for doing so. These people are giving a lot of time and effort (not to mention loss of sleep) for some really great causes.

Please take some time out of your day and sponsor if you can, offer support if you can’t. And consider joining me next year as a Blogger in Blogathon 2006!

I’ve sponsored Webgrits who is blogging for the CCFA! I’ll probably sponsor some more in a bit, and will update them when I do. In the meantime, go surf, go support, go SPONSOR!

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Daily Dose of Life – Cold Water Communication

Community Chest, Day to Day, News and Politics, Personality, Pet Peeves, Questions and Answers, Religion /

When the older three children were small, they did not like lasagna.  (To put it mildly.) They would happily eat boiled lasagna noodles with a serving of sauce on the side and a serving of cottage cheese and mozzarella on the side but put it all together and they would act like you were trying to feed them brussel sprouts.   They knew that all of those things that they would happily eat, separate, made up lasagna and a couple of them loved to make lasagna but they would not eat it.

The youngest went further than not liking it, she would proclaim her disdain loudly if she even saw lasagna on a restaurant menu or if she saw the noodles in the commissary (that’s supermarket for you non-military people) or smelled it cooking in the oven.  She would tell us how horrible it was all through dinner and how it would probably KILL us if we kept eating it.  We’d send her off to eat in another room and she’d still be mumbling about the horrors of lasagna when she brought her clean plate into the kitchen.

Moving right along…

I have some friends who have complete and utter disdain for all things religion.  They continually share the horrors of religion with us.  They never share any positive stories about the good done in the name of a religion.  If you’re lucky enough to be standing in front of them and mention something about your church or the positive experience you’ve had through religion you can see them cringe.  If you’re lucky enough to be sharing this information with them online, they do an internet cringe or worse yet, they get snarky. 

I’m not really a religious person.  I don’t do God or The Goddess or Buddha or any other deity you want to bring up.  I do however enjoy attending the local UU Fellowship.  When I mentioned this once, in the course of a morning hello post, to some internet friends, one threw cold water on my good feelings so completely I couldn’t breathe for a moment. 

And here we are, the point of this…

Why do people do this type of thing?  We all do it to some extent but why do some people do it so often and so intensely?   

Spanglemonkey suggested that a recent instance of narrow-mindedness was in part due to age, or lack of.  The idealism of youth.  The ability to see things only as black or white, right or wrong, good or evil. 

My children definitely outgrew their hatred of lasagna, (though some love it more than others).  But people don’t seem to outgrow the inability to open their minds.  Why is that?  Why do some of us respond with “If I don’t get this, it’s not true” and others don’t?  What causes a person to focus only on what they see and dismiss anyone who sees something else entirely?

Is it lack of identity that causes this type of narrow-mindedness?  Are these people so busy trying to protect themselves that they can’t allow themselves to see from someone else’s point of view?  Is it fear of the unknown?  Or is it all of those things?

My children didn’t eat lasagna for years because it was unknown, it looked like something other than they were use to but they braved their fear, and they tried it.  My friends may never step out of their safety zone and look at spirituality in a way that might positively affect their lives but I do hope they learn to appreciate the good feelings and the good work that their spiritual friends have found and do through religion.  Or at least be respectful.

All I ask, all I have ever asked, is that when someone presents an idea that is foreign to you, do not give a knee-jerk reaction.  When someone shares their good feelings, don’t throw cold water.  And, when someone suggests a new form of building community and shows you example after example of how it has worked, do not dismiss it because you can’t see its benefit to YOU.  (And oddly enough, this isn’t directed at my new blogging pal, DnW – she was pretty open minded for a stubborn woman!) 

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Daily Dose of Community – Fish?

Community Chest, Pets /

Bert and Community?

Now I have to come up with how these darn turtles that “Hagrid” sent the children are like blogging or boards or community or umm something. But first I have to get TW to clean the tank because I don’t want to get near it while it smells so bad. (Hey, that smell might be like the smell in Scoble’s comment feed that’s keeping him away from his blog, right???? Oh wait, I see he is returning on Sunday, guess he has someone coming in to clean the stinky tank water?)

You can find community indicators everywhere, ya know?

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Daily Dose of Kids – Questions

Foodie, Kid Talk, Questions and Answers, Sights & Sounds, Travel Log /

After dinner at the Cuban Cafe around the corner we walked to the other end of the strip mall and popped into the independent bookstore that TW is always begging to go in. (I don’t generally agree because we spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars that we do not have on books! We just got out of debt and I’m not ready for a $500 book spree yet. Ask me again in a few months).

While in Goerings, TW gathered books for me to peek at and put on our library reserve list (I love my library) and had The Kids’ Book of Questions in her hand. The library definitely wouldn’t have that and you can never have too many question books on the shelf if you work in community and live with the woman who built The Question Library, so I bought it. After that, ice cream. (Ugh, the chocolate dipped key lime pie was not a good idea for me.)

While enjoying the ice cream and driving the kids back to the “blue house” TW asked the kids questions. Of course, the over-used and much-hated (by me) question “If you had a time machine and could travel either back or forward in time, which would you choose?” came up. I groan everytime someone asks that question on a message board. I’d rather have someone ask me if my boyfriend will kiss my stretch marks than hear that question. (I don’t have a boyfriend but if I did, he’d better or he wouldn’t be my boyfriend.)

J of course said he would travel back and take over the world so that when he returned from his visit he would still be the ruler of the world. Typical. Boring. I hate that dumb question.

E would go back in time and see how the dinosaurs really became extinct. (What is it about her and dinosaurs lately, weird and I forgot to show her the cute 3 kid circus dinosaur vblog entry today, darn it) Again pretty boring and typical and I really hate that dumb question.

Then, there’s RJ. She’s 9 and I love her. And she finally gave an answer I adore. It’s even better than Blaze, Debra Ginsberg’s son (Raising Blaze) who wanted to travel through time to the Ace Hardware Store, just because that’s where he wanted to go.

RJ said – she wanted to go back to when the earth was created and find out once and for all whether it was a big bang, evolution or creation or WHAT. Ha, nice new answer. One I’ve never heard. One that’s worth going back in time to discover the answer to.

Gosh I love that question now.

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Daily Dose of Anger – Don’t Tell

GLBT, News and Politics, Pet Peeves /

Military ousts more gays for online ads – Read the article, I’m not summarizing this one because it’s long and you need to read it all, especially if you’re GLBT and considering military service! Sheesh!

I just don’t understand why people, gay or straight, or so appalled and up in arms and just plain surprised when active duty military members are released from service due to online personals ads. Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell doesn’t just mean your superiors won’t ask and it doesn’t mean you’re ok as long as you don’t go up to another active duty person and proclaim your gayness. It means you CANNOT TELL ANYONE YOU ARE GAY, except maybe your doctor and that doesn’t happen in military clinics too much – trust me on that.

Let me help you folks who are gay and serving or gay and considering serving. YOU CANNOT TELL, not on a message board not on a blog, not on a personal ad and not in a chatroom, not in an email, not in a telegram (too bad this all doesn’t rhyme, I could do Daily Dose of Dr Seuss!). You cannot talk about being gay and you cannot live gay AT ALL because if you do and someone finds out and reports you then you have violated your enlistment and you can (and should be, because you knew the rules when you raised your right hand) discharged.

You may not like Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. I may not like it either. But those are the rules, right now. Either live with them or violate them, but do not be surprised when your career suffers because of your violation.

Personally I would prefer you not enlist if you cannot live within the rules of military service. Crummy rule or not, you’re wasting tax payer dollars by being brought up on these charges. Paperwork and man hours lost might not be a big deal when you compare it with bombs and searches for WMD but it’s bugging the heck out of me. Don’t ask, Don’t tell or Don’t Join.

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Daily Dose of Addiction – Blogs

Memes and Quizzes /

Which Blogs Would I Take to a Desert Island? (click the link back to where I saw this and then click the link to the original. Interesting.)

This was hard. It’s been in the back of my mind all morning and when I was sifting through my feeds during a little break I just took I think I was able to narrow it down. I think.

  • My own because I’d need the outlet or she’d kill me.
  • TW’s because she’d need the outlet or I’d kill her.
  • Full Circle because I can’t live without community.
  • Feministe because I can’t live without women’s issues.
  • Chalice Chick – I’ve become addicted to her ramblings.
  • Scobleizer because his comment creeps are incredibly entertaining – I like trolls.
  • Contentious because Amy says interesting stuff.
  • Your Daily Art because art is life and life is art.
  • Millennium Hippies – a mommy blog and an education blog all in one.
  • Dooce because everybody reads her and everybody comments and from there I could read more blogs! ;-)Which 10 do you NEED in order to survive? How often do you think your needs would change?

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    Daily Dose of Anger – Starved

    Diet and Exercise, Health and Wellness, Pet Peeves, Sights & Sounds /

    I was seeing posts about this “new TV show about eating disorders” mentioned on message boards I was reading and wrote a note to remind myself to check out Starved. I’m glad I waited til after I was officially finished working. Had I looked earlier, it would have ruined what has been “Nancy White Day” around here and made it very difficult for me to keep on working. I’m just that ticked off about this.

    * The picture on the network page was enough to trouble me. Not funny.
    * Watch the preview clip. A man obsessing over the scale, an anorexic man, maybe the fact that he’s a man is supposed to take the edge off since most people don’t associate anorexia with men? Whatever, not funny.
    * Then, we see him eating chocolate cake out of the trash, confessing to his support group and we see a woman in his support group say “If you were a dog, I’d kick you in the face.” Not funny (and where are the PETA people???)

    There is NOTHING funny about this, nothing funny about eating disorders. Imagine all of the people out there who are hiding their eating disorders, it is a well hidden illness, having to sit through this show while their family members laugh. All of those people suffering in silence because they are afraid to tell people who love them. Those people won’t be laughing and they won’t find it any easier to tell once the first episode is over.

    I don’t generally encourage people to boycott television shows or write to networks but today I am. Join the NEDA and tell these people what you think.

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    Daily Dose of Women – Blogher

    Daily Dose /

    I am probably more envious and jealous today than I was while Blogher was actually in session. Large gatherings of women are amazing things and here are some examples of what I mean (click the links, they’ll open in a new window and you won’t lose your place!):

    The quickest and easiest way to get an idea about what makes women driven gatherings and men driven gatherings different is to take a look at the photos from Blogher vs Gnomedex that TW linked to (thank you Denise for making me write that blog post, TW says or should say). Which event would YOU rather attend; the one with all of the obvious emotion or the one that’s stiff and stodgy looking?

    You could also take a peek at Nancy White’s comments, as Scoble also suggested you do. Her thoughts about community are what make her the “Blogher” I’d most like to meet, (though after reading all of these recaps, some others are running close seconds and thirds!) And don’t miss this prime example of why she remains at the top of my list. Nancy White gets it!

    And then there were the celebrity sightings! Oh My (insert deity) DOOCE!!! LOL I do not know how many times I have read that over the course of the last few days but I laugh every time I see it. I love women gushing over their heroes! (Do the guys gush over Scoble? I bet they don’t!) I’ve been the gusher and the gushy and from everything I read it appears that everyone did it just right!

    And then there was another celebrity, La Queen Sucia, who made some (IMO) great comments about not generalizing about men but turned around and shut down her blog (which has now been removed so I can’t even link you to it so you can read for yourself – you can, however, read a really nice post about the incident at Blogher) and in doing so suggested we all turn off our computers, quit blogging and head outside for a walk – where it’s real. (As a side note, while I appreciate La Queen Sucia’s choice and support it I was appalled at the fact that she suggested we all stop blogging and find something real. So, I suggest you all take her advice the next time you consider picking up her chick lit – a term she finds offensive and a term that I adore – and instead, turn on your computer and blog or read some blogs. There is some really REAL stuff going on in the Blogosphere, it doesn’t just happen in chick lit or while walking in the park).

    Speaking of real – it doesn’t get more real than another woman whose work I’ve respected, Amy Gahran, forever! I have linked Contentious so many times! I can’t even begin to tell you how many. Some of my friends and coworkers probably think I’ve got some secret crush on her, that’s how many times I’ve linked her! And look, she does it again – she takes on Winer and she comes out like you wouldn’t believe. I have total respect, TOTAL.

    Speaking of OUT, ha! I love that Koan Bremner flew all the way across the world and took this type of chance. Strong women ROCK! (Listen to the MP3 later, it’s fantastic!) I hope next year she bites a bigger bullet and attends a mommy blogger session. It won’t be easy but I think it would be healthy. I’ll sit next to her in the audience and support her!

    There are dozens more wonderful Blogher posts and recaps and bloggers that you really HAVE to go and visit. I can’t link them all or talk about them all, I don’t have TIME! Click the blogroll, add them to your feeds, do whatever it takes to make these women a part of your life. It will be worth it.

    And last but not least, why women’s gatherings are Better Than Christmas

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