August 2007

Throw Like a Girl: Stories

2007, Books in Bed, Favorites, Fiction, short stories, Women /

I don’t usually like short stories very much. And a book of short stories is just too much of a not so great thing. Throw Like a Girl might be the first book of short stories that I’ve ever really loved. OK maybe the Atwood book that Sassy sent me, I really liked that one too. Other than that, can’t think of any others that I’ve liked this much – enough to drop into the “favorites” category.


Once again, I can’t remember who recommended this or which blog I saw it reviewed on – but thanks, whoever you are.

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The best non-answer to a stupid line of questions

2 Comments / Daily Dose, GLBT /

Jodie Foster makes me laugh when she does this stuff. I think if she ever answered these questions head on I’d be disappointed. On the other hand, I just told TW that Jodie Foster is annoying. I wouldn’t be happy hung with a new rope. 😉

Let’s talk about your ring.

This one? [Proffers left hand] It’s Tiffany, an eternity ring.

You’re wearing it on your wedding ring finger.

I am. I’ve always worn a ring. Even taking photos. Even on magazine covers. I don’t take it off.

Don’t you think wearing a ring like that raises questions?

Well, but that’s my life. I thought about this recently: I had a nightmare the other night. Well, anyway. . .

C’mon! Let’s hear the nightmare!

I was being interviewed by somebody, like an innocuous [press] junket thing. They were asking me questions about food I liked or whatever. Then they said, [in a high, innocent voice] “Have you ever written any homemade anti-Semitic cards?” And I was like, [horrified] “No!” Then she said, “Come with me,” and I realized to myself, “You’re so stupid. Haven’t you ever seen that 60 Minutes thing where they ask you a banal question? You’re not supposed to say yes or no. You’re supposed to go, ‘Well, that’s interesting.’ Because if they ask you the banal question, it’s because they have some kind of document on you. And now you’ve got to go! And now the camera’s going to follow you!” Then my dream was over. [Pauses and reflects before continuing]

My life is my life. I’m not going to change my life for anybody. I don’t have any problems with it. I just don’t talk about my health, my dad, who I voted for or what I think of the death penalty, because that would be trivializing my life, selling it for a magazine. I don’t have any problems with anybody reporting on my life. It’s just that I’m not going to bring my family into that. The number-one reason for that is: Why would I invite — encourage — more people to sit outside my door and wait for my children to go to school? I don’t have any desire to participate in it.

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Teaching Lyra to Sing

Animal Issues, Family Funk /

So the bird. Lyra is her name but I just call her bird. Which is better than what I call the rat.

When RJ is not here for long stretches of time, the bird moves to our bedroom. I think I like this development even less than I like F*** Elvis in here. (See I told you calling Lyra “Bird” was better than what I call the rat.) I really am not a bird person and while I did find it amusing to hear the pissed off little baby voice coming out of Jenn’s mouth when she heard RJ got a bird, “No fair, you never let me get a birdddddddd!!!!”, I’ve really disliked having this creature in my life. I particularly dislike it when TW gets her out of the cage and she flies all over the darn place and I really dislike it when she does this while I’m in a phone meeting. I also dislike it when the bird hisses at me while I”m getting clothes out of my dresser. The hissing obviously means the bird dislikes me as much as I dislike it.

But. The bird also seems to appreciate me enough to learn things from me.

It now can whistle, like I do. It also makes some really weird noises that I could not place but have grudgingly decided to admit sound surprisingly like laptop keyboard noises – and mouse clicking noises. So – I’ve taught it to whistle. I’ve taught it to make keyboarding and mouse noises. Now I am attempting to teach it music. Music that RJ likes and that I like.

I’m trying to teach it to sing or whistle “Emotional Girl”. She definitely loves the music. She will sing and make every noise she has ever made and flutter her wings and whistle non-stop while it is on. She also seems to appreciate Terri Clark’s version of “Poor Poor Pitiful Me” but the Zevon version puts her to sleep. I may dislike the bird, but at least she has good taste in music – or maybe she just appreciates a woman who looks really good in a hat.

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Jury Duty: Christopher Style

5 Comments / Family Funk, Kid Talk /

A couple of months ago, when Chris still lived here, I checked the mail and discovered a jury duty selection card. For Christopher. I was initially annoyed by this. I have never been called for jury duty and the boy is not yet 21 and has gotten his first summons? NOT fair. Then, I was excited because how cool is it to be called for jury duty? In my opinion, pretty cool.

Chris came home from wherever it was he had been, or maybe it was a couple of days later – I’m bad about telling people they have mail – and I gave him the card. He was not amused, to put it mildly.

He ranted about this all evening long. “Why should he have to go to jury duty when the system doesn’t work?” “Why should he have to go to jury duty when the system judges him harshly based on how he looks?” “Why should he have to go to jury duty when no lawyer is going to want him on a jury?” “Why should he have to go to jury duty and miss work and miss getting paid?” “It’s our anniversary, we had plans!” “It’s the week after we move, I’ll be too busy!”

On and on and on he went. TW and I both attempted to get him enthusiastic about this, without any luck. On and on he whined. Until I could not take it any longer. I used “The Denise Voice” and told him to adjust his attitude NOW. And I didn’t hear another word about it.

A couple of days before he was suppose to appear at the courthouse, I reminded him about it and he said he had taken the time off work and he’d be there. And, he was actually going in search of “appropriate clothing” right now (apparently his clothes were still at A’s mother’s house.)

On the day of jury duty, he called me…. disappointed because he had not been selected to sit on the trial. He had apparently begun to look forward to it and he found the whole process interesting. One of his former high school teachers had been called and he enjoyed chatting with him while they waited (nice that it was a teacher the boy actually liked since those have been few and far between since the good ole Howard Hawks days.) He was dismissed because the defense lawyer asked him if it would be a financial hardship for him to be on the jury, and miss work all week. Chris admitted that it would be, particularly since he had missed the entire week before because of his move. So, they nicely thanked him for his time and dismissed him.

The kid actually said “I hope they call me again in a few years, I’d like to do it again. You were right.”

Duh. I am always right.

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Dexter, OMG this is the most awesome thing EVER

2 Comments / Books in Bed, Favorites, Movies & Television /

You know I love Dexter, the book and the Dexter Showtime version. It’s almost time for Dexter to start again and that’s cool but there’s something even more fascinating.

You can send a personalized video to your friends that indicates the Ice Truck Killer’s next victim is the person you sent the message to. I’m serious. Try it. This is the most amazing thing EVER.

The Ice Truck Killer is going to get YOU next… don’t believe me, go look and watch all the way through… or else…

Thanks to TV Squad – y’all are awesome.

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The Phone Call: Another Chris Story

2 Comments / Family Funk, Kid Talk /

Last night, around 9:15, the phone rang. I was laying in bed, watching the LOGO/HRC debate on my laptop (I changed my mind and decided to turn it on and just sit on my email instead of really working.) I answered the phone, only half listening because Edwards had just been asked what he would do if someone on his staff came out as TG… Chris was on the phone.

M: Hey, how’s it going.
C: Fine, how are you?
M: Not bad.
C: Good
Silence
M: What’s up? How’s the storm over there?
C: That’s why I called, we were at the movie and when we came out everything was flooded. And the storm is bad.
M: Yep, the lightning is crazy.
C: Yea, so I was just calling to check in and see if everything was ok over there.
Silence
M: (stifling a laugh, mouth hanging open, completely missing Edwards’ response to the question) We’re fine, everything ok there? You’ve got electricity still?
C: Oh yea, we’re fine. No problem.
M: OK good. Stay home and don’t drive.
C: Oh we won’t, (A says Hi).
M: (Hi A) OK I’m gonna hang up and finish watching the queer LOGO debate now.
C: OK talk to you later.

The boy called to check on us? WTF is that about? Crazy. Weird. Twilight Zone like.

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