I know that many of you have heard Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, and others speak of the “Homosexual Agenda,” but no one has ever seen a copy of it. I have finally obtained a copy directly from the Head Homosexual. So we’re all up to speed, it follows below:
The Homosexual Agenda:
6:00 am Gym
8:00 am Breakfast
9:00 am Hair appointment
10:00 am Shopping
12:00 PM Brunch
2:00 PM (Here’s the really important part)
1) Assume complete control of the US Federal, State and local Governments as well as all other national governments
2) Recruit all straight youngsters to our debauched lifestyle
3) Destroy all healthy heterosexual marriages
4) Replace all school counselors in grades K-12 with agents of Colombian and Jamaican drug cartels
5) Establish planetary chain of “homo breeding gulags” where over -medicated imprisoned straight women are turned into artificially impregnated baby factories to produce prepubescent love slaves for our devotedly pederastic gay leadership
6) Bulldoze all houses of worship
7) Secure total control of the INTERNET and all mass media for the exclusive use of child pornographers.
2:30 PM Get Forty Winks of Beauty Rest to prevent facial wrinkles from stress of world conquest
4:00 PM Cocktails
6:00 PM Light Dinner
8:00 PM Theater
11:00 PM Bed
ARghhhhhhhh I don’t think I’ve managed to complete a single task on my agenda today! Oh wait, I took TW for HER hair appointment this afternoon and I did have a slice of pizza while I was working around 6:30pm. I need to get with the program before they take my membership card away from me!