Vaginas and Me

If you know anything at all about me then you probably already know that my pal Maria Niles is going to be interviewing Eve Ensler on behalf of BlogHer. And if you know anything at all about BlogHer then you know we’re asking members of the community to help Maria create the list of questions to ask Eve Ensler. Which leads me to a problem.

I cannot ask Eve Ensler a question. I had the same difficulty years ago when I had to come up with questions to ask Germaine Greer.

As I said in my comment on BlogHer, Ensler is the kind of woman I don’t want to ask a laundry list of questions to. I want to sit down with her over coffee and have a conversation. This is probably not a great idea since I’m sure that conversation would lead to me doing a vagina interview of my own. She’s probably a little tired of that, don’t you think? It’s embarrassing but I don’t think I’d be able to stop from giving her a vagina interview.

I’ve seen the Vagina Monologues umm eight times? nine times? ten? I don’t know, I’ve lost track.

I’ve seen it three times in NYC, once in Vancouver, once in Atlanta and at least three times (or is it four? or five?) here in Gainesville.

I’ve seen it with TW and the almighty Hobbit. I’ve seen it with my mother and my two oldest daughters and a waitress at our favorite restaurant who needed some serious positive woman energy.

I’ve seen it “off Broadway”, I’ve seen it in a UU church, I’ve seen it at a University and I’ve seen it in a bar.

Katherine Helmond was amazing in the Vagina Monologues, I saw her perform them twice (or maybe three times.) Elvira Kurt was hysterical.

We own the audio version of the book, two copies of the book and I’ve seen it on TV. We own The Vagina Warriors and more Vagina Monologues and VDay tshirts than I can count. (Viva Las Vaginas and Vagitarian were huge hits at BlogHerCon.)

I can recite most of the monologues word for word, not because I made an effort to learn them but because I’ve lived them. And, and hearing someone say “the flood” or seeing a “white Chevy Bel Air” do not mean what you think they mean. We no longer shop at the local craft store because of a nasty comment a clerk made about TW’s Reclaiming CUNT t-shirt.

My children have grown up with The Vagina Monologues and they are still growing up with The Vagina Monologues. Michelle has a 101 things in 1001 days list and performing “My Short Skirt” is on her list of thing to do. I’m so proud. We do a lot of talking about vaginas.

Ask Ensler a question? Where would I start? It’s impossible. And if I did manage to find a place to start, I wouldn’t be able to stop.

My vagina can be very chatty.

Go ask Eve a question. Your vagina wants you to.