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Daily Dose of Charleston – Confusion

So we went to Charleston last weekend.  I was tempted to say "home to Charleston" but since it’s only me who considers Charleston "home" I resisted the urge.  I wonder if there will come a time when I don’t feel the urge to say "home to Charleston"?  I haven’t actually lived there for a gazillion years, (I hate the word gazillion and am only saying it because of RJ, which is another post so remind me to talk about that another day), and everytime I go "home" it looks less and less like "home".

I did successfully avoid the "bridges" for the most part.  The new bridge jumped into my line of vision at the Meeting St off ramp that looks so incredibly not like "home" that I almost drove off of the ramp because the traffic pattern was so wrong but other than that I avoided seeing any potentially heart breaking changes over there.  My mom found the book I had to have and I bought it in the Millenium Music Store – which is another building so not like "home" thatthe only reason I can go in is  because all of King Street looks so bloody different I can sort of pretend it didn’t exist at all when I was a kid and was just dropped into place after I moved away.  The book is a tiny flippy photo book of a "white car" driving across the Grace.  I love it.  I love that my mom saw it and chased me down across the store to tell me I needed it.  You can see the flippy book in action – go look! (click the books!)

Another incredibly not like home experience was driving through the Charleston Naval Shipyard.  OMG.  I have not been on the Navy Base since before I got married.  How run down.  How different.  How amazing.  I can’t begin to describe the differences or the sameness.  Unless you’ve experienced the Charleston Naval Shipyard in all it’s glory, unless driving through it in the 70’s felt normal and routine, there is just no way to explain the feeling of driving through it now for the first time.  My mom had not been back since then either so she is probably the only one I know who understands just what that was like.

Since I’m talking about this trip "home" I might as well talk about the &%$# airshow.  It was air show weekend and Jenn lives on the airbase.  What horrible timing I have.  There is not a worse weekend to be on an air force base than air show weekend and I can say that last weekend was the worse air show experience I have had in my entire life of air shows – and there have been dozens and dozens, at a half dozen air force bases around the world.  What idiots create a traffic plan to get civillians, military members and military family members TO the airshow but never stop to think that SOME military members and military family members might want to NOT attend the airshow? Or more importantly, that someone might actually want to LEAVE the base at 9am and NOT attend the airshow?  There is nothing more ridiculous than routing people from military family housing TO the airshow parking in order to get them OFF of the base – and then discovering that once you get them to the airshow there isn’t actually a plan to get them OFF of the base.  There’s nothing worse than talking to nice airmen at checkpoints at each corner of the base only to be told something totally different and usually completely opposite from what you were told at the previous checkpoint.  Whoever planned the airshow at Charleston Air Force Base this year should be given an Article 15.  Someone take care of that, please.

On the otherhand, the reservists manning the Pass and ID desk in BLDG 51 on Friday were awesome people.  Thanks for covering for the active duty pukes who blew off their Friday and left you holding the bag.  I appreciate it.

Another positive experience, though other members of my family may disagree, was the discovery of a new restaurant in North Charleston – Sesame (corner of Montague and Spruill – same side of the street as NCHS but right before the railroad tracks, off to the right – for those of you who may attempt to find it).  When I say new I really mean new – it was in its first week of business, I believe.  A rundown looking little concrete block building with a ton of vegetarian options on the menu – and when I say a ton, I mean a ton.  TW and I split a total of 6 different types of "mini" black bean burgers.  We tried three different appetizers (the onion rings, the bruschetta and the wings – the wings weren’t vegetarian) and all three were very good.  The sweet potato fries were possibly the best I’ve ever had.  These folks make their own mustard, ketchup and mayo and TW was in love with the ketchup – which is weird because she hates ketchup.  My girls were making strange moaning noises over their brownie sundae and the lemon iced blondie was reported to be ok but not as good as the brownie.  (Desserts are made by the folks at Five Loaves) There was some not so good stuff that happened during our dinner – a ticket mix up caused the bulk of our party (everyone except me and TW) to have to wait a good 30 minutes extra for their meal.  Then the medium to medium well burgers were not actually cooked to medium/medium well.  My sil ordered the "mini burger sampler" and got 2 of the burgers she ordered but the 3rd one was not the type she ordered.  The manager did remove her meal from the bill and gave her a free dessert, without prompting to do so.  If you visit this restaurant – order your burgers well done or order the black bean burgers instead.  Try the South Carolina burger, it has homemade pimento cheese on top! 

One other Charleston thought – don’t go to the Crap Crab Shack on Dorchester (heading toward Summerville it’s on the right, just past Ashley Phosphate).  We’ve been there twice and nobody except my sister in law and my son in law like it.  (If you do go, order the red potatoes and ask for some of the dipping sauce for the fried green tomatoes to go with – it’s the only thing I’ve found worth ordering).

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Daily Dose of Work – Freebies

Work? For free? – aka volunteering?  Mark Glazer wants to know why you and I "work for free".  It’s a "nagging question" for him. 

Is this such a difficult concept to grasp? Couldn’t you make a list of 100 reasons people volunteer their time, effort and knowledge?  Or am I wrong?  Is it hard for you to figure out why AOL had more volunteers than it knew what to do with? Or why iVillage still has a million volunteer CLs even though iVillage is less than good to its volunteers?  Or why you can’t throw a stone in a suburban neighborhood without hitting a PTA mommy? Or why you can’t wander through a big city without bumping into a soup kitchen volunteer?  Or why women are happily contributing blog posts to Blogher? 

I wonder if people who don’t have a strong history of volunteerism are the ones who have the biggest problem understanding the work for free  concept.

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Daily Dose of SXSW – Quiet

OK folks at SXSW why are you not liveblogging? Recording and uploading the sound quickly?  Don’t you know that some of us really need the liveblogging?  Some of us weren’t lucky enough to be there this year (again).

So far this (thanks Kyle Bunch!) is all I have that is of any interest from the Dooce/Kottke exchange.  (I’ve found others who were there but they posted simply that they are bored or they’re not really listening and just surfing.  Hello, people.  Why are you there taking up space at SXSW, you could have come here and painted a bedroom instead????)

Edited, here’s another link to a liveblog of Kottke/Dooce. (Thanks Steve Bryant)

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Daily Dose of Art – Supa!

TW and I met Supafine in the Blogher chatroom last summer.  None of us were able to attend.  All of us were grouchy about it.  This year, we are all attending!  Yea us!  The reason I’m talking about this right now is because Supafine is supa! and fine!  She sent TW a present! 

Supa had a little fun gamey contest awhile back and the winners got art!  Photos taken by the talented mommy of Owen, Ms Supa fine!  I entered because TW needed art from Supa — art from Baltimore (I’m sure it was the cheese that won it for us).  Art arrived yesterday.  TW is happy and she rambled about Baltimore because that’s what TW does.  She started to ramble about Supa’s niceness and poof she was off.

So anyway, Supa is cool.  Owen is adorable and I’m hoping the next time she has a contest she’ll give him away.  (Cheese is the always the winning answer with Supafine contests, I’m a shooo in to win!)  Go look at her photos of Owen.  (The videos of Owen are even cuter than the photos) Go read her blog.  You could click her donation button too – Blogher trips aren’t cheap, folks.  Really – go visit her and tell her how terrific she is.  (she has this great idea for a Baby Einstein Drinking Game – anyone want to fund that project? It’s a winner! Great investment opportunity…)

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Daily Dose of Health – BlogHer

BlogHer has landed!  That’s right folks, the coolest network of women has launched.   This is one of the best things I’ve had the honor of being involved in – EVER.  Involved in?  Yes that’s right, I am not just attending the BlogHer Con, I. AM. INVOLVED! 

Yours truly has the honor and privilege of being one of three contributing editors for the BlogHer Health & Wellness topic.  Go me!  And go mipmup and Amanda too.

I hope you’ll stop by the BlogHer network and click into the blogs and the blogrolls.  And women bloggers, yea you, please add your blog to the blogher blogroll.  The more women we have visible the less likely we’ll be to hear the dumb phrase "where are the women bloggers"!  . 

If you know of a great health & wellness blog written by a woman please bring it to my attention, I’d be happy to visit and give her blog a mention in my BlogHer blog.

Gosh I’m lucky – I guess that Tarot Card on Saturday was right, wasn’t it?

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Daily Dose of Conversation – Boards vs Blogs

Amy Gahran has posted 10 Reasons Why Blogs Are an Awkward Conversation Tool and while I do agree that they can be, for some of the reasons she’s listed, I have some points to make… (This stems from the comments from one of her posts, Missing the Conversation for the Blog, where my pal DnW asked questions about Blogs vs Boards.)

1) Amy says Blogs aren’t intuitive – and boards are?  Do you know how many times today I had to explain how to use a message board?  Do you want to know how many times I’ve had to explain it in the last 10 years?  Do you want to know what happens when you change your message board software from linear to threaded?  Or make even a tiny little change to your message board format – much less change software entirely?  Blogs may not be intuitive but for the most part it’s pretty obvious that the little link under a blog entry that says "comments" means you can see comments and maybe even make one. 

2) Blogs are busy.  Yes, many of them are – and many of them are not.  But have you looked at a message board forum lately?  Unless you own the forum and keep it nice and clean you’re going to find the left side, right side, bottom footer and header incredibly busy.  Have you looked at iVillage message boards lately?  And remember, you can unbusy a blog really easily – RSS feed reader!  Some message board forums do offer email digests so you can unbusy those as well, but not all do. 

3) Unthreaded comments – again, look at message boards.  They don’t all offer threaded views and when they do, the threading does not always work.  Plus you have folks who don’t know how to use the darn things so if you’re reading them in an email digest you have this mess of previous comments tucked into what you’re reading and it is impossible to follow.  (That MF yahoo group I mentioned the other day drives me insane at times for this reason)

4) Comments don’t equal conversation – very, very true.  But this isn’t a problem related to blogs only, it happens everyday and all day long on message boards.  Oh does it ever.  It’s like pulling teeth sometimes to convince people to talk to each other on a message board.  And those poor message board posts don’t always get comments either.  Or they get one comment from a moderator saying "hi and welcome" or "hi, go read this article" and that my friend is that.  *Amy puts an aside here regarding some of the best conversations taking place between blogs, much as I’m doing with Amy right now.  This rarely happens on message boards and in a lot of cases message board moderators discourage such things.  What stays on one board should stay on that board and not be discussed "behind those people’s backs" on another message board.  This behind people’s back, cross board talking causes flame wars like you would not believe because it feels secret and like an attack.  I don’t think Amy is going to consider my post an attack on her – (I’m going to send her a trackback and encourage her to share her thoughts about what I’ve written. ) And, another thing that happens with this type of between blog conversation is you’ll find people who read my blog but do not read Amy’s will go and visit her and they will comment.  The same may happen for me  with people who read Amy’s blog but do not visit mine.  Expanding our horizons and our interaction happens so much more easily on blogs than on boards.

5) Comments don’t always get replies – again, typical of message boards as well.  No reply at all or a moderator directing the commenter elsewhere.  You can’t force people to converse or to respond to your thoughts, whether it is on a board or a blog or in face to face interaction.

6) No easy way to follow up to comments – this is a universal problem.  If you’ve got good blog software or good board software then this isn’t an issue.  Bad software, it’s a problem.

7) Turning off the comments (and trackbacks) – unless you own (or manage) a message board forum, you can’t do this (and sometimes even then you can’t do it).  There are times when you want to say something and you truly don’t want a visible, public conversation.  That does not, however, stop others from having a conversation with you – it just means they have to initiate the conversation on their own blog or within email.  Look at Winer – he has no comments but he still has conversations with people who chooses to converse with.  he is not inundated with comments from those who he has no time to converse with.  He’s got the control, with blogs, to have the conversation he wants to have.  That can make sense from someone like Winer who umm has a tendency to whine about stuff.  😉

8) Inequality – This is certainly not a blogcentric issue.  Message board communities are incredibly "cliquey".  Have you ever tried to break into a very tight message board forum?  Have you ever spent a week reading every message board post, commenting about things that interest you, introducing yourself only to have your posts ignored by everyone except the moderator?  Even if the message board community has welcomed you and encouraged you, it’s very difficult to jump in and start talking when everyone "around you" appears to be the "best of friends".  Besides the whole "A list" thing, I find this happens less on blogs than on boards.  Even people like Scoble are pleased when someone new visits them and posts an interesting comment.  I have not met a blogger with a stat tracker of some type who was not thrilled to see a new IP address in their logs.  Visitors may not know about that excitement but if you read some blogs (not the A-listers) you’ll quickly realize this is a huge deal – people blog about this all of the time!  If you want to feel loved folks, post on 3 news to you (non A-list) blogs a day. 

9) Lots of people don’t like blogs, and that’s ok.  (though I will smile at DnW just a little bit) But a lot of people don’t like chat and a lot of people don’t like boards.  That’s ok too. A lot of people don’t like face to face interaction, either.  Or the telephone, there’s a lot of telephone phobia in the world!  Some of my best cyber friends read my blog, but are not bloggers.  I do believe that many of them like it when I blog because I ummm talk more than I do on my board.  (sorry guys) And one cyberfriend in particular is not so great on boards but give her a blog and she’s awesome… and as a personal aside, she’s better on the boards now too.  Much more talkative and open.  It’s like she found her voice on her blog and it carried over to the boards.

10) It is faster to talk – and it is often faster to post on a board.  But, with a blog the words live on for as long as the blogs are there.  It’s so much easier to pick up where you left off when you’ve posted on a blog.  Trackbacks are beautiful things.  And, let’s talk stats again – I can look at my stats and see that the post I wrote about popcorn almost 9 months ago gets a huge number of hits (huge is a relative term, I’m not an A-lister!) so I could write more about that if I wanted to draw more people in.  With a message board, that’s not going to happen (unless you own the forum and have really good metrics but who has those???).  And of course I could ask Amy if she wanted to Skype about this or I could call DnW on the phone and say let’s talk this out and it would be faster – but then it would be just us, and we wouldn’t be drawing more folks in, hearing new perspectives and learning from a wide range of experiences.  Faster is not always better, in fact it generally isn’t when you’re talking about conversation.

I could go on and on and on but I see that I already have.  And in case anyone is getting the impression that I don’t like message boards, that would be incorrect.  I love them.  And I love chat too.  All tools for conversation are good and all can be awkward – and sometimes awkward is good.  But ummm I’m not fond of the telephone.

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Daily Dose of Community – Superglu

Earlier today I found myself losing the “Zen” I’ve been working on in regard to work so I clicked the Firefox bookmarklet for my Superglu page, (it’s actually mine, Michelle’s & TW’s since our feeds all go into that one page), and from there I clicked the “Squeeze” button. And I just kept clicking the “Squeeze” button.

It was interesting to see what other people had added to their “sources” lists. There wasn’t much that was really interesting to me or that I hadn’t seen in the feeds I subscribe to through my aggregator.

Until, Athens, GA Bloggers! Cool way to create a community feed made up of individuals who have pretty much been doing their own thing. Athens is a cool town, (Michelle thinks she wants to live there when she grows up, though she’s not sure she ever wants to leave her moms. She’s a weird teenager), and this little group of bloggers gathering together on one Superglu page is cool.

Nancy White asked recently if Blog Carnivals are community indicators or catalysts – I’ve wondered the same thing. And now I’m pondering whether the gathering of Athens bloggers on Superglu is a community indicator or if Superglu is a community catalyst… Whatever this is, I like it. A lot.

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Daily Dose of PRIDE – Coming Out Day

Comeout
Once upon a time (5 years ago), in a land that no longer exists (women.com), I had the pleasure (not) of moderating a message board called “Coming Out”. What a joke that was. Looked good on paper, I suppose, but whoever decided a “Coming Out” board would be a good idea in an only marginally lesbian/bi friendly women’s community didn’t ask any real lesbians.

It was rare for anyone to use that board to tell their coming out story. It was rare for anyone to ask for advice about coming out. And when people did post their stories or ask for advice, it was like talking to an empty room. Nobody (except me) was really listening. And, to put it bluntly, I’m not all that “Coming Out Friendly”. I tend to advise on the side of caution, especially when listening to a 16 year old girl who lives with homophobic parents or a married woman of 35 who THINKS she has a great husband who will understand. These are not the best living conditions in which to decide to “Come Out”.

I also am not hugely fond of making “Coming Out” a huge production. Why make people you care about feel any more uncomfortable than they need to feel right off the bat? You’re about to spring some pretty rough information on people, why not keep it low key in the beginning? What’s the real benefit to you to make a production? I understand not wanting to lie or pretend. I understand the whole “If they don’t support me then I don’t need them” feeling. I understand the need to be really loud in order to hide your own fear and discomfort at such a pronouncement. But really folks, low key has always worked pretty well for me. There’s time later for celebration and NOISE.

Regardless of how you came out, regardless of how you might still come out, celebrate the day. Regardless of how you have reacted to a coming out or how you might react to a coming out, celebrate the day. It isn’t easy, no matter how it’s done.

There are some interesting coming out stories on the HRC National Coming Out Day site. Check those out and don’t miss Tom – he has interesting advice to share.

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Daily Dose of Education – New Schools

All three of the small children started new schools on Monday. All three are attending “magnet” schools that are rather far away. His highness attends a middle school about 15 minutes from here and the girls attend an elementary school that is 20 minutes from here. The middle school has a pretty wide range of kids, in terms of economic and social status but the girls’ elementary school is, well, it is in a minority neighborhood and the majority of students are minority. The magnet students have classes in one building, not in the same building with the “neighborhood kids”. Some of the magnet classes do join the “neighborhood” for specials like PE, Music, etc… There are soooo many things to say about this that I just can’t even start. So instead, I’ll tell you two little stories that were shared by the girls after day one.

RJ is in 4th grade and when TW said “what happened in school today,” RJ said “There was a crime scene at school and there was an outline of a dead body!” It’s hard to know what the right thing to say is when your child makes this announcement on day one at her new school, ya know? TW seemed to manage ok because after a bit more of RJ rambling about this, it turns out this was an actual school activity. No, they didn’t kill anyone in the name of education. It was an observation/detective work type activity of some sort. No real crime, that we know of, was committed. Although, I personally find it troubling that they chose this particular activity for this particular group of kids in this particular school. I am afraid I’m going to have some difficulty keeping my social and class issues to myself…

Then, on the way to school this morning, E (who is in 2nd grade) said that her teacher told her that one year she had a student who would scream and yell and cry and crawl under the tables when she did not get her way. And the teachers finally figured out how to handle that. They discovered that if they quickly shoved something in her mouth, she would stop pitching a fit. Ummm, huh? TW and I were both quiet for a moment. Again, what to say… I asked, “what exactly did they shove into her mouth?” E said, “food!” Oh thank goodness, the light bulb went off and I said BLOOD SUGAR, it was her BLOOD SUGAR. Sheesh.

These kids, I swear they will be the death of me. Or maybe it is this school. We didn’t have these issues with Mrs F…

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Daily Dose of Health – Podcasts

Nancy White linked us to Kim and Todd Maffins’ MS Podcast Blog. I’m listening to one now and it’s very well done.

Multiple Sclerosis is neurological disease that involves the brain, spinal cord and optic nerves. I’ve spent quite a bit of time talking to people who have MS or are awaiting a diagnosis of MS. (It’s not always easy to diagnose) There’s no cure at this time and there isn’t much known about what causes MS either.

If you know someone who has MS or if you’d like to learn more about it, I would definitely recommend you listen to these and check out Kim’s blog, Mandatory Rest Period as well. Good stuff here. (not to mention a great community indicator!)

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