Family Funk

Daily Dose of Kids – Those Left Behind

Day to Day, Kid Talk /

TW blogged about her nice workday with RJ and I’m glad the normally bouncy, talkative, busy RJ was quiet and sweet but I spent most of the day wondering why it was I had insisted it be RJ who went and the other two who should be left behind.

It started innocently enough, the Starbucks and the Krispy Kreme but I should have known it wouldn’t last when the two staying with me started to cheer because RJ was going to have to do WORK at the office and they were going to have a wonderful, relaxing and FUN day at home with Denise. I hate that sort of thing so decided on the spot that we’d clean the garage – or at least play at cleaning the garage. That stopped the cheering and jeering at RJ’s expense but left me with a 15 minute drive home that I did not enjoy.

E quickly warmed to the idea of cleaning the garage and talked nonstop about just what we would throw away (RJ’s stuff and Chris’s stuff) and what we were definitely keeping (her stuff). J did what J does best and tried to muddle the process by distracting me with some talk about video games that I did not understand. (J and I both need to listen to more Patrick Scoble podcasts because J would definitely be considered a lame 12 year old. We’re trying to make him into a real boy but it’s hard, he has some really weird parents…)

By the time we got home, I was feeling about the way I did when I blogged my symptoms a few days ago and I was regretting the first wonderful Caramel Macchiato I’ve had in days. So, I did what all moms in my position would do – I turned on the TV.

The quiet lasted for about an hour and then the typical, “Get out of my seat!” “Quit touching me!” “I am not stupid!” “I was watching that!” started. Then there was mayhem because J has lost his gameboy charger. It was plugged into the wall in the living room for the entire month he was in Vancouver. I saw it on Monday when J arrived and immediately picked up the gameboy. Where it went after that is anybody’s guess. I helped search the living room for a bit and offered ideas about how to go about cleaning the bedroom that he insists he just cleaned in order to find it but we had no luck.

From there it just went downhill. E decided she needed to talk to me, nonstop, preferably while holding onto my mousing arm at the elbow. When I tired of this, she brought her pillow and neopets plushies down and crawled under my desk with the old, tired, smelly dog and talked to me from down there. J sat in Michelle’s computer chair, the one formerly known as mommy’s, and made his groaning noises for about an hour.

Lunch was only a success because I served Krispy Kremes alongside what turned out not to be E’s favorite soup oh and somewhere along the way, the evil black dog drank J’s hot chocolate from Starbucks and J refused to clean up the cup paper that was all over the living room. Apparently the dog assumed responsibility for cleaning up the cup since he had it last? The Schwan’s guy showed up unexpectedly, (unexpectedly only because I forgot he told me last time he was switching to Thursdays), and saved me briefly with banana popsicles that E has been asking for all week. (The kid is weird, she hates bananas but loves these popsicles and the yellow smiely lollipops skeeter sent us from Hawaii ages ago.)

We never did make it to the garage. We did, however, survive the day with only one 5 minute bout of crying from E when J put his feet in her hair and pulled for a really longgggggg time (according to E). We also never found the charger for the gameboy so his highness thinks that tomorrow we should just go buy another one. Ha! It wasn’t as crazy as Life Aboard the Ark but the next time a kid goes to work, it’s not going to be RJ!

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Daily Dose of Kids – Patrick Scoble (again)

Kid Talk /

Well it’s time to review the latest Patrick Scoble; featuring Microsoft Boy podcast. I was getting worried that the team of Scoble & Scoble were giving up on podcasting because it took so long for this installment to appear. A regular schedule would be nice, boys. You have loyal listeners, ya know. Do you think Dawn & Drew would be where they are today if they kept their fans waiting like this??

So Patrick thinks his pal Drew is lame. Actually he really thinks his pal Drew is just a little kid and it is Drew’s parents that are lame. Makes sense to me, from the viewpoint of an 11 year old son of Microsoft Boy. Heck, it makes sense to me, from the viewpoint of a mom with 6 ½ kids. Honesty is a good thing Patrick; I just hope Drew and his family recognize that when folks start telling them that they were immortalized by your podcast. Or maybe I don’t. Maybe I hope that Drew and his family are a little miffed by your podcast and tell you about it. Because while I think it’s perfectly acceptable to tell your dad that those folks are lame, and even for dad to giggle (again a thing I could have lived my life without hearing) and agree, I don’t really think it was a really great idea for a podcast.

Scoble took some hits on his blog for encouraging his son to label his friend and their parents lame and for encouraging Patrick to count off his games and his wonderful “toys” while comparing them to those of his friends. I am sure that Scoble did try to impart some wisdom to his son about folks actually earning their toys and that he did try to explain that not everyone can or should have the best, new gizmo (or all of the best new gizmos). We just didn’t hear it, I’m giving Scoble the benefit of the doubt; surely he tried.

Unfortunately, I think that if he did try, he probably didn’t get anywhere. It’s difficult for parents like Scoble to impart such lessons to their children nowadays. Parents who live a relatively “privileged” life pass that along to their children and it’s virtually impossible for children to comprehend the differences between the classes. I know this from personal experience.

As mentioned, I have 6 ½ children. 3 ½ of those those children would immediately realize that while Drew is lame (and so are his parents) he isn’t all that different from them. They actually have to wait for new toys and they understand that their moms aren’t made of money and Xbox games don’t grow on trees. The other 3 children are clueless. So clueless that one of them has decided her father and his family are “poor” because it cost so much money for them to take a trip to Japan over spring break. Those 3 have no concept of poor and it isn’t the age factor that is causing the confusion, it’s the class they spend half of their time living in.

I wish Scoble luck in trying to impart some lessons regarding class structure in America, it won’t be easy and I do hope he’s starting now – maybe making Patrick earn a bit of money toward a 360 would be a good start…

And Scoble, if you need help coming up with topics for your podcasts with Patrick, there are all sorts of interesting question libraries that will help. You did a better job of not asking about summer vacation but it did slip out when you ran out of topics. Or you could ask him what he thinks of Bush’s nominee for Supreme Court? Or maybe you could ask him about drug use in his school? You could even ask him more about the bass guitar? How about MTV, does he watch it? Have favorite shows? Vjays? The topics are endless –  try some of them!

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Daily Dose of Books – and food? and memories?

Foodie, Memories, Sights & Sounds /

I am not a foodie, let me make that point right up front. TW and my job have done an excellent job of allowing me to get a fairly respectable score on foodie tests but I am really NOT a foodie. What I am though, is someone who has learned to find memories through food and that is something that I was never able to do before.

I’ve asked a million foodie type questions in my life and I’ve encourage thousand upon thousand of people to connect their memories to food and address emotional eating issues but as many have noticed, “Denise rarely answers her own questions.” It’s true, I don’t. And in the case of food and memories questions, it is generally because I didn’t have any decent answers.

But now, I can read a book like Garlic & Sapphires, (which I truly enjoyed, except for the ending), and not say “huh?” And I can read a really good book, like The Language of Baklava and almost relate! Well ok, maybe relate isn’t the right word.

I can read these passages about family dinners and father’s cooking and do more than see a hazy memory that brings nothing more than a shrug followed by the “what’s the big deal? People are weird. (That is generally what I’ve done when reading these types of books and message board posts, too!). I can now think back to Plain Grandma and Grandma-Grandma in the kitchen bickering back and forth while making Beef n Noodles and I see what the big deal is. I can immediately get the giggles when I think about me and my brother going around for hours on end saying “pork chops and applesauce” in poor imitation of that Brady Bunch boy every time my mother told us we were having pork chops for dinner. I can smile and chuckle at the memory of my mother making fried apples for us after seeing the episode of Family Affair where Mr. French made these while trapped in a blizzard (the episode is called Marooned).

I may not be able to pull up long rambling memories of exactly what people ordered at a particular restaurant 15 years ago, like TW and her family can, but I do have some very good family food memories!

And by the way, The Language of Baklava brought back more than just family food memories. It reminded me of the time I was on a children’s television show with my brother and friends. That Happy Raine memory just came tumbling back right there in the first chapter of Diana Abu-Jaber’s book. And I enjoyed it, almost as much as the family and food memories.
Pst, I’m not really a Debonair Diner, as suggested by the Foodie Quiz,  but I do a good job of playing one on the internet! 😉

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Daily Dose of Music – and Silence

Kid Talk, Melissa Ferrick, Pet Peeves, Sights & Sounds /

For years I worked from home and insisted on doing so without music in the background. The TV was fine, it wasn’t a distraction. I even spent a couple of years looking forward to working with MTV’s The Tom Green Show and Loveline (I miss Dr Drew and Adam!) in the background. And then there was the .wav fixation, that lasted for all of about 3 minutes. But other than that, silence was my preferred work environment, (or as much silence as you can get with a house full of kids and animals).

That’s all changed and I blame Michelle. She came home from school one day in April of 2004 and never went back! Along with all of the craziness that comes from having a teenage daughter home all day and attempting to home school her and work at the same time, I somehow acquired a need for music while I work! I didn’t even notice it had happened until she went to NJ for the summer and the silence surrounded me!

Well wait, that’s not really true, I knew something was missing when she left but assumed it was just “her” and not the more specific lack of music. I realized it was the music that was missing when I landed on the Yahoo Launchcast Radio page after exploring Yahoo 360° for my boss.

Before I knew it, I’d programmed my own channel, (which I don’t really like because it won’t let me program down to some very specific artists), and then all of a sudden I was listening to the Melissa Ferrick Fan Station all day long while I worked. Ah ha, so this is what was missing! It wasn’t Michelle – it was Melissa and Ani and MUSIC!

And so, all was right with my work world – except for an overabundance of Indigo Girls and Bitch & Animal and a curious amount of Dar Williams (Who may be from the Boston area, (like Ferrick), and may be a folk singer, (like Ferrick), but is really not the same TYPE of musician as the majority of others on the Ferrick “fan station”. Yahoo has created some interesting play lists, that is for sure!).

But alas, something bad happened today – I ran out of “free” airplay and am now floundering around wondering what to do. Do I pay the ghastly $2.50 a week in order to hear too much Indigo Girls and Bitch & Animal? Do I muddle through with a station that I’m really not enjoying? Do I track down a radio station that might be better? Do I grab some CDs and try and find some routine of changing CDs so I don’t find myself listening to The Other Side or Massive Blur over and over again?

I have to do something! I can’t sit here in silence, Michelle will be back in a week or so and we’ll be back to music all day and then I’ll struggle to get use to that all over again.

Kids are trouble.

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Daily Dose of Memories (and Progress?)

Memories /

Yesterday was a day to celebrate “progress” in my hometown of Charleston, SC. But while thousands upon thousands of people celebrated, I felt more like mourning. I hate progress, especially when it involves Charleston. But that might be part of what makes me a Charlestonian.

Yesterday, some lucky people took their last drive across the Grace Memorial Bridge (And the Pearlman, though my post is really about the Grace.) and opened the bright, shiny, and progressive Arthur Ravenel Jr Bridge (which will probably be known as the “new bridge” for the next 75 years or so).

You might wonder why this makes me sad, when I haven’t actually lived in Charleston for 25 years. Well be patient, I’m getting to that! The first and most sentimental reason is that I consider the Grace Bridge Story that I’ve heard my mother and my father tell more times than I can count to be the birth story I never really had (I think I take after my mom since my children don’t really have those long, sentimental birth stories that are so popular nowadays). And, it’s definitely the story of my birth as a Charlestonian – since I was really BORN in Virginia!

My dad was in the Navy and as Navy folks tend to do, he found himself transferred to Charleston in the mid 60’s. So, he and my mom packed me into the Rambler and tossed their stuff into a u-haul that was hitched to that little Rambler and headed south. I-26 wasn’t around then so they took the long rambling US17 and what did they see when they arrived? The good ole Grace Memorial – 2 lanes, one headed in each direction, and my mother insisted there was no way she was driving over that thing. Somehow, (this is the sketchy part of the story), my father convinced her that it was the only way in and they had to do it, (duty calls!), and so they did. Every time one of them tells the story, I smile because I’ve never had a moment of worry crossing that bridge. In fact, I’ve always preferred it to the “new” Cooper River Bridge, (which is really the other “old” bridge, the Pearlman). I’ve always smiled because I just have never been able to picture my mother balking at crossing that bridge. It seems out of character but then again, I guess I didn’t REALLY know her very well 40 years ago, did I? I don’t think I’ve ever driven across that bridge when I didn’t think about that story, and I’ve driven over that bridge a LOT!

And there you have it, reason number one about why it makes me sad that the Grace will soon be gone. Reason number two is a little more complicated. It’s all tied up with what being a Charlestonian really means (at least in my opinion). This new bridge is truly representative of what makes Charleston the city it is. It’s the ability to jump forward and embrace the biggest and shiniest and the best or put the biggest and shiniest face on the old and ugly for as long as they can and then quickly toss the old and ugly aside when it doesn’t suit its needs.

At least when you’re listening to the nice tour guides telling you that they never sold slaves in that slave market, it was all a lie, and it was just called that because it is where the slaves went to shop for their owners you can look at that market and know what you know; know what is no longer politically correct to say. It isn’t pretty and it isn’t something to be proud of but it is a big part of what made Charleston the city it was then, and what it is now.

But when you’re crossing that nice new bridge it won’t be long before you won’t even be able to look out and see the old Grace and what she use to mean to the city. The old and ugly will be gone and there won’t be anything at all for people to look at and know what they know. Oh sure, folks who remember can tell the story and point out to the emptiness and say right there, the Grace use to sit, and the Pearlman too, but it just isn’t the same as being able to see it and picture what that was like. It’s just not the same. Hmph! Who needs progress? Unfortunately, the city of Charleston does.

(Thanks to the nice Sun and Moon Sorcery Blog for sharing the event in her blog, I hadn’t been keeping up with hometown news! She and her husband went for a Quiet ride…sort of.)

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Daily Dose of Kids – The Heir to the Throne

Kid Talk /

My sister is in a labor and delivery room right at this very moment, awaiting the birth of her first (and I hope only) child, who I will refer to as “The Heir to the Throne”.

I’ve got a zillion feelings about the pending arrival – annoyed because I believe she and her husband were meant to be childfree and they believed it too until that “great event” that changed their lives. I’m annoyed because I WANT TO BE PREGNANT and I WANT TO BE THE ONE IN THE LABOR ROOM RIGHT NOW! And of course, I’ve got all sorts of angst related to my sister that I will not EVEN go into for fear that I may take TW’s idea and guilt trip her for fun and profit, lol. I personally believe that WebMD needs a message board for old women who want to be pregnant but aren’t going to get pregnant!

I’m also really, REALLY annoyed because my sister is in that labor room today because her doctor offered to induce. He didn’t offer to induce because my sister is having health problems, or because the Heir to the Throne is in distress. He didn’t even offer to induce due to the end of the year and a tax break, (it’s July after all), or to help with work schedules, (like Christopher’s wife in Gilmore Girls wanted to do), because both my sister and brother in law live a life of leisure. No, he offered to induce because he could. And she agreed because, she could.

I’ve got a lot of angst here, but I really am anxiously awaiting the arrival.

~~~~Update~~~~
The Heir to the Throne has arrived! Shortly after 4pm, 6lbs 2oz and 19 1/4″ or something close to those stats. The grandma was a little iffy on those, but they are close, lol. Mom, Dad and Heir are fine.

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Daily Dose of Kids – Patrick Scoble

Kid Talk, Personality /

Since we don’t actually have a single FULL child at home right now, just the half child wandering in and out as his schedule permits, I’ve got time to give you a daily dose of a kid I’ve thought a lot about lately – Patrick Scoble.

First a wee bit of background. Patrick Scoble is the 11 year old son of “Scoble” aka “Microsoft Boy” (and for the duration of this piece I will refer to the adult Scoble as either Scoble or Microsoft Boy, depending on what I want to convey hehehe and Patrick as, well, Patrick!). Patrick seems to live primarily with his mom in California and visits dad in Washington state on holidays and such. Patrick does not own an iPod but wants one and being an 11 year old boy living in Scoble’s house; he heads to iTunes and downloads some podcasts. Unfortunately, (or obviously), he downloaded some “inappropriate” podcasts. Inappropriate because they have the “intended for adult audience” labels attached to them. Scoble found out and decided Patrick’s punishment would be to record his own podcasts with Microsoft Boy and that’s where it really gets fun.

I say fun because it was fun to listen to Patrick and Scoble, though I must interject that I could have gone a lifetime without hearing Scoble’s voice because he sounds EXACTLY like TW’s ex when he is interacting with his overindulged children or responding to something he’s slightly uncomfortable with but doesn’t know how to handle. Anyway, the other part of this that was fun was reading the comments that came in on Scoble’s blog regarding the podcast or more particularly to Patrick.

A lot of folks actually called Patrick a brat and worse and I’m troubled by that. They did so because he called his dad stupid and idiotic and used the word “hag” to refer to an administrator at his Catholic school. Shrug, none of that bugged me at all. He’s 11 and fathers are idiotic and stupid, Microsoft Boy in particular because he is the almighty Scoble. I’m telling you if I had to sit next to him on the red couch and podcast, I’d probably go all out and call him stupid too! I find it hilarious that these folks get all upset over a few silly comments by Patrick, an 11 year old, when Winer exhibits 11 year old behavior on a weekly basis and he’s far from 11, isn’t he? You put an 11 year old boy on a podcast with his non-custodial dad who just happens to be Scoble and proof you’ve created a monster!

Don’t these people realize that Patrick was podcasting to entertain? To cause a stir? To serve his time? To be a spectacle? Do these people really think that Patrick acts like this all of the time? And guess what, even if he does, that doesn’t mean he’s a disrespectful brat. It might just mean that he trusts his dad to understand and respect his feelings and feels comfortable enough with him to call him stupid to his face rather than giving him a “yes sir, you’re amazing Microsoft Boy, sir” and then grumbling behind his back about just how dumb his paternal parent is? I can tell you from personal experience that my kids understand that when they get ticked off or annoyed at me, they can tell me exactly how they feel and we’ve still got the mutual respect thing happening. I can also tell you that they would never tell their father exactly how they feel because they don’t trust or respect him. So folks, before you slam Patrick or his father, you might want to take a close look at your oh so respectful children and examine whether that respect is honest or not.

I do have to ding Scoble for a second though, you punished Patrick for downloading inappropriate podcasts even though it’s pretty obvious that you didn’t think it was that big of a deal. Dawn and Drew may not be intended for an audience like Patrick but you didn’t really mind all that much. Patrick knows this, you know this, Dawn and Drew know this and the rest of the blogosphere knows this. So why punish the kid at all? And why choose to make him do some podcasts? I’ll tell you why, because it was a nice bit of publicity for you, tossed you right into the spotlight as if Microsoft Boy didn’t have enough of a spotlight already. Don’t do that Scoble, I don’t think it earned you a bit of respect.

And Patrick – podcast away, just gag your dad and do your own thing. I’m tired of hearing him ask you what you’re going to do this summer or what you’ve been doing, two podcasts of that was more than enough. You are more interesting than Microsoft Boy ever thought about being.

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Ask a Teen

Daily Dose, Family Funk, Kid Talk, Religion /

My daughter (the 15 year old) will be having her Universalist Unitarian Coming of Age Celebration this weekend! Yippeee!

As part of the weekend long celebration, there will be a dinner for the Coming of Agers, their mentors, their parents (or other worthy adult in their lives), and the youth group leaders on Saturday night.

The adults were asked to bring two questions that they’ve always wanted to ask a teen and I’m having some trouble with that. I can’t come up with a single question that I’ve always wanted to ask but never have!

Are all parents like me? Are you all short of questions? Or do some of you have things you haven’t actually asked your teens?

If you have a question for a teen, (whether you’re a parent or not), feel free to post it in the comments section – I’m getting desparate and may have to resort to asking Zobmondo or sweet meme questions and that’s just silly!

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