Day to Day

Daily Dose of Spirituality – The Hermit

"It is in community that we find our true self,  the speaker intoned.



I thought of the serious probing dialogues, the endlessly unfolding spiritual conversations, the communing, the groups, the schools and congregations, the clubs and societies and parishes and sanghas, the churning, interpersonal spiritual processes. It was positvely oceanic. I sat on the beach, high and oh, so very, very dry."

Go look, go read, go think.  One of my favorite bloggers.  She made me sigh and think and smile and sigh some more, today.

Night of a Stranger

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Daily Dose of Questions – Koolaid

"Drink the Koolaid."  Where did that come from?



I know where the phrase "drink the koolaid" comes from.  I know all about Jim Jones and his little kool-aid  (though it appears that it was Flavor-aid and not Kool-aid) fun.  I understand it, please don’t assume I’m just culturally clueless – my children may be, but I am not.



What I’m confused about is why everyone seems to be using the phrase.  I went for a good 20 years without ever hearing this said by anyone other than a Girl Scout leader or a kindergarten teacher. 



Is it the current political scene causing the mass useage of this phrase or is it the current "scene" in my own little world?  Are you folks in the blogosphere hearing "just drink the kool-aid" or "those people are just drinking the kool-aid" as often as I am?  Are you, like me, saying it??? 



I don’t want to drink the kool-aid and I certainly don’t want to hear myself suggesting it to someone else.  It makes me a little queasy, and not just because I don’t like kool-aid either. 



Buy into the party line, follow the leader business, nasty dirty stuff, isn’t it?



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Daily Dose of Laundry – 8, 11, 13, argh!

December 31, 2005 – I was really very pleased with myself.  All laundry in the house was clean and for the most part put away.  (In this house piled at the foot of whatever bed, in the bedroom it belongs in = put away)  This really was quite an accomplishment.  I wanted people to share my excitement and my enthusiasm.  The pure joy of knowing I was ending the year without any laundry waiting to ruin my shiney New Year, ahhhhh I remember it well.

January 8, 2006 – I realized last night that I had already done 8 loads since the New Year began.  8 in 8 days.  And we’ve only had the small children 4 of those days.  And that did not include the three loads Michelle and the 1/2 child had done.  And that did not include the two additional loads ready and waiting in my overflowing laundry basket.

8 in 8 days plus 3 does that mean I do 365 loads of laundry in a year?  And Michelle and the half child do 3 a week?  That means in this house we do approximately 521 loads a year? 

Please.  Say it ain’t so.  I don’t think I can face another day with those numbers staring me in the face blog.  Please.  Help.  There must be a solution to this.  I need a solution. 

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Daily Dose of Ideas – Insanity

Have you ever had an idea?

Have you ever had a really good idea?

Have you ever spent more than a year researching topics related to your really good idea so you could convince folks that your idea is really good?

If not, can I suggest you keep that really good idea to yourself and not spend a year of your life researching in order to convince others?

The insanity is simply not worth it.

Keep your idea to yourself.  Or better yet, research and use your knowledge for yourself and not others.  Save your sanity, please.  Learn the lesson I’ve finally learned!

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Daily Dose of Life – Reflection

A – Animoprhs reigned again this year as the series of choice for RJ. Barely beating out HP and the Half-Blood Prince. Here’s hoping she moves along in the new year.

BBlogs, Blogs and more Blogs. They defined the year for us in ways I cannot even begin to explain. And I suspect they’ll be on any reflecting over 2006 list we may create next year.

C – Melissa got off the boat but TW and I stayed on the cruise in January. I don’t want to cruise again and TW doesn’t either but we oddly spent some time pondering queer family cruises and author cruises and Panama Canal cruises. Weird what cruising does to you. It’s something they put in the water or the food or something. My mom, aka sockmouth grandma, has moved part time to Charlotte to be closer to the Heir to the Throne.

D – My old Dodge Caravan no longer lives in the driveway. I signed it over to Chris when his Camry died in January and then he traded it in for a Tercel at the end of the summer. E and I miss the Caravan quite a bit. It was part of our history and it was sad to let it go.

E – A very large elephant has been purchased in the hope of having a grandchild to give it to next year. Jenn & Ronnie are officially “trying” (though have not yet succeeded).

F – Who’d have thunk Prince Joe would choose to play the flute… and almost enjoy it for more reasons than practicing has the potential to drive his family insane? Who also would have guessed his weird FCAT testing science fair project would net him a ribbon and inclusion into the regional science fair? Educational standards are weird.

G Gamecube was purchases, as promised, when the Prince held up his end of the bargain and our lives have not been the same. Unfortunately he is no longer holding up his end of the bargain but the Gamecube remains. We need to work on that. E became Gameboy crazy, as well and the Grace Bridge is no more.

H Homeschool or school at home? Whatever, we’re still doing it with Michelle. Speaking of Michelle, hair color and style changed and changed and changed. 2 of the 3 Hermit Crabs live on! Hazel the pink roomba has been a much loved addition to our lives.

I – My iRiver birthday gift is the BEST! 6 MP3 players entered our lives and the iRivers beat the iPods and the Samsung and the Creative hands down! TW and I enjoyed our first (and so far only) trip to IKEA in October. We need an IKEA!

J – RJ has discovered Practical Jokes, thanks to Nick magazine. She’s not very good at them but she tries hard and it’s amusing.

K Keep, Sell, Trash! The fixation TW and I have acquired for Clean Sweep resulted in a Clean Sweep Birthday for me! We’ve not really been all that successful at following through but we’ve made some attempts and that counts for something, right?

L – Chris moved out of the house and in with his g/f and her mom in LaCrosse. We thought he would be moving back in before the end of the year but the move back home date has moved to February. The lemon tree finally produced lemons! 4 NEW laptops came into our home, 3 have survived!

MMiddle School for his highness, Prince J and magnet school for RJ and E. This means a lot of driving and a lot of pretty tough homework for all three.

NNeopets have lost their lustre, a little. But our pets haven’t died!

O – TW got an office! With a Window! Joy!

P – Jenn and Ronnie PCS’d to Charleston and that makes me happy, happy, happy! PRIUS aka whaleyboy car! TW got me a PRIUS, for CHRISTMAS! And she didn’t really violate any Denise rules to do it.

Q Qatar was on our radar and will be again next year.

R Riley aka Heir to the Throne joined the family in July. I still say my sister should go back to being Childfree By Choice… and give me the baby!! The dirtbag retired after 25 years in the USAF. And, E is still rat crazy and created a rat sun bedroom to prove it.

S – RJ is still synchronized swimming. Though she seems less enamoured than in previous years. In fact, “oh man do I have to go?” is frequently heard when she’s asked to get her suit on and find her goggles and nose clips.

T Tree work was finally authorized and accomplished. Good for the backyard and our electric and cable wires. Not so good for the front yard where the much loved tree in front is less loved because it is not so cool. Three turtles remain and are threatening to take over the living room.

UUlcerative Colitis is out, Crohn’s is in. Whoopeee.

V – We three women, (TW, Michelle and I), finally saw the Vagina Monologues at UF, together.

W – “My girlfriend the webmaster” is a phrase often heard around here. TW got a maddening nice new job in her department.

X – RJ’s x-rays after a skating incident led to a cast over the summer. Not so fun when you love to swim and scooter.

Y – My yellow smiely coffee mug lives on, who would have guessed it would have survived this long (10+ years).

Z – Chris is pondering life as a zookeeper, veterinarian or some other animal type handler. This means he’s going to have to go back to school, doesn’t it? And stay in, doesn’t it?

Originally seen on Underpaid Kept Woman!

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Daily Dose of Kids – Teens – Hair

Hairtimelinenew_1

Everytime I download pictures from my digital camera I see photos of Michelle (who is the almost 16 year old) and her latest hair style. The child has her own digital camera but she either can’t find it or the batteries are dead, so she uses mine to photograph her latest hair design. I’ve saved these all year long and I’ve been saying I was going to do a “Year In Michelle” feature … well Michelle beat me to it! I’m not 100% sure she captured every hair change over the year, if she didn’t, we’ll update it. Until then – Enjoy! And tell us which “hair” you like best!

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Daily Dose of Knowledge – And Power?

Here are some things I’ve learned this week…

1) My ex husband is not nearly the dirtbag I thought he was, or that he thought he was for that matter.
2) I would pay extra for an MP3 player that came with the little felty covery thingies already attached to the earbuds.
3) That my dislike of the Peanuts Christmas Special could be causing some cultural illiteracy.
4) You get what you pay for (I didn’t learn this directly from Dr Lloyd. I learned it from the tree service who was here taking down some dead trees. But, I had the pleasure of discussing the idea with Dr Lloyd a few months ago so…)
5) Traffic on Archer Rd is, in fact, bad. (For quite some time I’ve insisted that it’s just not as bad as TW always says it is)
6) There are not enough hours in the day to do stuff you like to do but there are too many hours in the day to do stuff you hate.
7) 2.7 million is the average net worth of the wealthiest 10% of the population. This is important, to me specifically for personal reasons. (And no, not because I have a net worth of 2.7 million or any million for that matter).
8) My daughter is grown up and responsible and appreciates me and asking for tattoos for her 16th birthday has absolutely nothing to do with why she appreciates me.
9) My son pays his debts, eventually.
10) Unitarian Universalists are very quick to make sure they have not committed some social blunder when it comes to lesbian mommies.

It’s been quite a productive week and it’s only Tuesday!

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Daily Dose of Kids – Blogs and Privacy

I’m going to share a really important Denise Rule with all of you folks. That rule is: Do not read your kid’s My Space, Live Journal, Xanga, [insert blog platform of choice]. That rule has a sub-rule that reads: Do not read the My Space, Live Journal, Xanga, [insert blog platform of choic] that belong to the friends of your kid, either. I’ve had this rule for a very long time and it has served me well. It will serve you well, too. I promise it will.

USA Today ran a nice little article about teens and blogging/journaling. It seems a lot of parents are surprised at what they’ve found when reading their children’s “blogs”. And once they’ve read the blogs, they don’t know what to do about it.

Hellooooo folks, if you are surprised by what your kids are writing in their blogs then you aren’t paying attention to your kids or you are in denial about your kids. That’s not the fault of My Space, Live Journal, Xanga, or [insert blog platform of choice], that’s YOUR fault.

Would your parents have been surprised by what YOU wrote in YOUR paper diary/journal when you were 15? Would they have been shocked at the words you used when interacting with your peers, away from prying parental eyes? Would they have been appalled at the things you did behind closed doors, while someone’s parents were out of town? If they would have been, then they weren’t paying attention either. Maybe it is an inherited trait?

I do not read my children’s journals, paper or online, and I’m rarely surprised at what they do or say. I don’t read their friends journals and I’m pretty good at knowing who the problem kids are and what their problems are. I do not read my children’s blogs and they have been known to simply carry on conversations with me regarding their friends’ blogs because they realize I already know what goes on in the world of teens and young adults and I’m not naive enough to think that they are immune to the dark side.

I cannot believe there are adults using the excuse “They put this stuff up for strangers to read so why are they upset when their family reads it?” as a valid reason for reading a blog without permission. Your children would not want you following them to the prom and lurking behind fake palm trees and crepe paper to see what they are doing, even though they are out in PUBLIC, would they?

The world has changed, mommies and daddies, and it is time to change with it. There are things that you (or people just like you) put up in a public forums everyday and you consider them private and anonymous, even though you are looking for answers and feedback and support from perfect strangers. I spend 12 hours a day reading message board posts from adults who would definitely NOT post half of the messages they post if they thought someone they knew was reading over their shoulder. Our children are doing exactly what adults have been doing ever since listserv and bulletin boards began.

Give your kids some publishing space and pay attention to what is going on in the world around you, and around them. If they trust you, they’ll tell you in one way or another what they’re writing and reading and who they are talking to out there in the blogosphere. And if you’re paying attention, you won’t be the least bit surprised by what you hear.


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Daily Dose of Vacation – Hairbrushes

Snead asked, so what is it that makes you love this particular brush and today seems like the day to answer her.

Why does today seem like the day? Since I’m sitting in a four star hotel that is NOT remotely like the two hotels I’ve stayed in with her while in Atlanta – it’s MUCH nicer. You’d think I’d be doing fun hotel stuff, right? Fun vacation stuff, right? Looking out of the window at the offices that have caused me so much work angst lately and considered ways to get even, right? Well, I am doing fun hotel stuff. I’m not worrying about cleaning up messes and we’ve watched several episodes of What Not to Wear and I suspect Clean Sweep and the like will also make appearances. We did fun vacation stuff last night and will be doing more of that this afternoon, tonight and tomorrow, so chill folks. I’m having vacation time, I really am. As for the looking out the window at those offices… and plotting… well I would, but I like my paycheck even when I’m frustrated so I feel incredibly lucky that the great view from this room looks out over Atlanta in the opposite direction and makes plotting harder. Maybe another time?

You’re still wondering why I’m blogging about my hairbrush while on vacation, aren’t you? Or had you forgotten that’s what I set out to do? I almost forgot myself so I can’t blame you if that’s what happened. The reason today is the day is because I am in Atlanta at a Four Start Hotel and I have NO HAIRBRUSH AT ALL! That’s right folks. Me. The woman who is incredibly anal about hairbrushes and always makes sure to travel with three, at a minimum, has NONE. NOT ONE.

I blame MICHELLE. She was sick and not improving and laid on mommy guilt so rather than pack in my incredibly efficient way, I just threw things in and left TW to throw things in, as I rushed all over town yesterday getting Michelle to the doctor, getting her medicine, getting her a Halloween costume etc…

I blame TW. After all of the trips I’ve packed for her, you’d think she could have managed to think about my hairbrush. We’ve already established that she understands the importance of this one item in my life. Instead, she printed a copy of the itinerary and directions and such – which was unnecessary since I had already printed a copy earlier in the day!

I blame WORK. If I hadn’t found myself immersed in a project that I thought I was removing myself from, I’d have had time to take my sick child to the doctor earlier in the week. I’d have had time to buy her a Halloween costume earlier in the week. I’d have had time to pack in the normal, and highly efficient way, I normally pack.

Obviously, I’m fixated on my brush right now and I’m thinking about how unpleasant it will be to go and buy another one just to get me through the weekend. I hate new brushes. I hate that the handle feels different and the bristles feel different. The weight is different. I’m a woman who really dislikes change and when I get use to something, I tend to stick with it.

It’s not that the pink Goodys brush is some high end, BMW of hairbrushes. It’s simply that I am use to the size and shape of the handle. The weight of it in my hand. The bristles. The brush. It’s familiar, I know what to expect when I use it. I don’t have to think about the best WAY to use the brush. I just know, because it’s the same brush I’ve used for years and years and years. Even when I open a new package and pull a fresh one out, I know what to expect. Same size. Same weight. Same brush.

Maybe I’ll get lucky and find MY brush at the Eckerd around the corner? (And why is it that all of the Eckerds in my town changed to CVS but here in Atlanta they still have Eckerd?)

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Daily Dose of Time – Work

Today is Take Back Your Time Day and I am making a resolution to do just that.

I can be a bit of a workaholic and a bit of a perfectionist. And I’ve been known to volunteer to help others who don’t seem quite as able to work a 60 hour week and take care of their families.

Today, I’m vowing to make some changes. Personal Changes. Professional Changes. Life Changes. I haven’t chosen the four windows of time activities that are suggested on the website or anything like that. I’ve just decided today that this has to happen.

I’ll get back to you with specifics. And if I don’t, would you please prod me to see that I’ve actually taken steps to Take Back MY Time?

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