Happy Thanksgiving
Those BlogHer Butterball potholders sure have come in handy…
Happy Thanksgiving Read More »
Family Funk
Holiday fiasco?
Every year I look forward to reading mommybloggers blogging about their holiday food fiascos and I always feel just a little be BETTER than them because I have never experienced such a thing. Possibly because I don’t do a lot of heavy duty holiday cooking or because I raised my children not to get all excited over holiday meals. Food. is. Fuel. That’s it. Unfortunately TW has come along and screwed that right up and the big kids have all of these big expectations for their holiday meals. Damn her. But it’s ok – she can do the cooking and deal with it if things don’t go quite right.
Seriously, as I was sitting here trying to come up with a holiday food fiasco so I could play along with Chris (y’all know how much I adore Chris, I’ve even pretended to forgive her for that whole “Big Yellow House” lie) and the only food fiascos I can come up with are related to my son. Poor Chris.
The first year my ex husband and I were divorced, Michelle and Chris headed back up to Jersey for the Thanksgiving feast. The ex had remarried and they were having some huge holiday meal with his new wife’s family. This was not a situation either Chris or Michelle were going to be in love with but Chris especially was no doubt uncomfortable just stepping in the front door. And then it happened. The boy dropped the macaroni & cheese as he was carrying it to the table.
The macaroni & cheese (which we do not have on Thanksgiving, EVER) was apparently one of the “new family’s” favorite Thanksgiving dishes and the kid dropped it. In front of everyone. Before anyone had a chance to eat a bite. Poor kid. The fact that his father divorced this “new family” hasn’t really helped ease the pain of that day – people still say stuff like “Don’t let Chris carry the macaroni & cheese”.
Also, the boy caught a birthday cake on a pink plastic serving tray on fire – inside of the oven – melted it all over the place which is why we have had a sign over our oven that says “Look Inside Oven” for about four years.
Do yourselves a favor – don’t invite my poor, sweet, son to your holiday dinners – he seems to be cursed.
A Lemon Earworm
This morning, don’t ask me how because I don’t remember, it became clear that the small children did not know the song “Puff the Magic Dragon”. I did the only thing I could possibly do, I downloaded it, and some more Peter, Paul & Mary, and we listened.
The bird is not impressed by Peter, Paul & Mary and the only comment from any of the children was from RJ – “I like the part when the kid dies.” Errr, yea. OK.
Then, Lemon Trees came on and all three children listened. When it ended there was much discussion about how stupid the song is because the “fruit of the poor lemon is POSSIBLE to eat” – the kids like lemons.
Err, yea. OK. I was trying to work and will admit that I had absolutely no interest in explaining the moral of the story to them. And that was fine because it was time for eggs benedict (which coincidentally involves lemons) and they wouldn’t have listened to me anyway. They were too busy eating.
All day long I’ve been fighting to keep the chorus of Lemon Trees OUT of my head. Apparently Liz was thinking about lemons too because she eventually asked to make lemonade. And now, that darn song is totally and completely stuck in my head.
The lemon tree, oh so pretty
And the lemon flower is sweet
But the fruit of the poor lemon
Is impossible to eat
Over… and over… and overrrrrr again.
It’s a love/hate thing
Michelle had some long discussion with TW about me, my “new” job and my travel opportunities. Apparently Michelle is hoping that BlogHer will send me on many, many trips because she is sure I love to travel and have really missed traveling.
Errr, ummm, weird, right?
Michelle came to this conclusion because I am always encouraging HER to travel and she thinks this means I wish I had traveled more.
Dude. I traveled. A lot. And still travel. A lot. More than I’d like.
It’s not that I don’t like going to new places or visiting friends and family and really cool people (like the BlogHers on the west coast), it’s that I’m a creature of habit and it’s hard to maintain habit when I’m traveling.
Take this last trip to California. Awesome, except for the really crowded flights and that whole orange juice spilled all over me – twice – and the really annoying woman who not only spilled OJ on me – twice – but argued with the flight attendant and many travelers about our flight being delayed because she did not understand that her cell phone was displaying east coast time rather than west coast time.
Awesome except my carefully created schedule was out the window and I really hate that. I hate not getting up, getting a cup of coffee and getting to work on my email, my blogs, my boards, my life.
This is why I don’t do vacation very well. I always feel like I should be doing something else, like my email, my blogs, my boards, my life! Business travel makes me feel the same way. It’s a problem, I know. I should get over it and just chill. And I do, mostly. But there’s always some niggling little thought in my head that if I was at home, I’d be doing X and I really need to be doing X – that’s why I do it every darn day.
So no Michelle, I really don’t wamt BlogHer to send me traveling a lot. Once in awhile is good – really good, and fun. But I’d really rather stay home. I like it here. You, however… you should travel. A lot.
It’s a love/hate thing Read More »
Ikea fooled me
Remember when we went to IKEA last month? Well one of the “children’s rooms” had a kraft paper roll hanging above a workspace. It was cool and I’ve been tempted to buy a paper roll/dispenser for Liz for years. So, we tracked down the silver paper roll that was displayed and grabbed a roll of paper.
I went upstairs yesterday to get it all set up and discovered IKEA had tricked us. The silver roll thingy is too fat for the paper roll. Huh. For a few minutes, Liz and I pondered the possibility of unrolling the paper enough to loosen the very tight center opening – but after rolling out about 20 feet of paper we realized that was not really a good solution.
Any idea what the solution to this problem might be?
Quirky? Nah, not us.
I think the quirkiest of our holiday traditions (besides TW’s weird obsession for matching holiday pajamas) is the fact that everything is a tradition. If we’ve done it once, it’s a tradition – according to little Liz.
This, I will admit, drives me a little nuts. But, it’s also quite amusing.
Going to the park by the hospital to take pictures that will be put on t-shirts for her mom for Christmas is a tradition – done once, years ago.
Going to Sears in holiday pajamas for photos is a tradition – done once, years ago.
Thank goodness I’ve done an excellent job of making it clear that last year’s “12 days of Christmas” celebration was a one time deal. It was fun once but I wouldn’t want to do it every year.
How quirky are your family traditions?
Quirky? Nah, not us. Read More »
The countdown begins…
and I won’t even be here for the big event. Damn. How did that happen?
Michelle is counting down the days ’til IKEA Orlando opens. Is she going to be really upset when she realizes I’ll be out of town on opening day? (Not that I would have been willing to GO to IKEA on opening day.) Do you think she can con TW into taking her?
Is she going to be upset when she realizes I probably cannot be talked in to going on opening weekend, either?
I think I need to break this news to her gently. Oh shoot. I forgot. She reads my blog.
The countdown begins… Read More »
Ant or grasshopper?
Errr, I’m something else entirely but I’m not sure what.
Citymama is asking whether we finish our holiday shopping at the last minute (like a slow poke ant) or if we get it out of the way quickly (like a grasshopper). I’m having trouble categorizing myself.
I tend to finish quickly but then, much to TW’s chagrin, I start shopping all over again. I can’t help it. I’ll find a truly excellent gift for child number four that I simply cannot pass up so I’ll buy it. Then, I’ll find the perfect gift for child number one and I’ll buy that too. This means that I’ll probably actively look for perfect gifts for the other kids so that we keep the gift ratio sort of similar for everyone.
So yea. I finish early but seem to constantly buy right up until the very last minute. Budget and original lists be damned.
How about you? Ant or grasshopper or something else entirely?
Ant or grasshopper? Read More »
Happy Holidays
My life, right now, is all about the holidays. And I’m not talking about Halloween. I mean the REAL holidays. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, New Year’s and all those in between. Crazy since I am really not a holiday type person.
I’m going to attempt to get in the spirit by posting my personal HOLIDAY WISH LIST all in caps so you understand that this is a big deal. Not something I do. At. All. Ever.
1) iPhone! I really do want one and I’ve realized that I also need one. But wait. One is coming to me within the next week, so Christmas has come early. Maybe I should have it gift wrapped by Apple?
2) Bookshelves! I need more bookshelves! Hard to believe since we just bought seven.
3) A library ladder. I’ve always wanted one, haven’t you? And now I have these super tall bookshelves so I need one. I wish IKEA made one in Brown/Black and not just the Brown or the Silver metal. I wonder if I can find a Brown/Black or Black one somewhere else. Levenger maybe?
4) A new digital camera. The question is – which one do I want? I haven’t decided but would love more suggestions (I say more because some nice bloggers have been good enough to give me some suggestions.)
5) World peace! (See, this is hard for me. I am not good at holiday wish lists for myself.)
6) Seen It t-shirt. Because I have. I guarantee it.
7) Emma Peel Doll. I totally and completely covet!
8) A red couch and a bathtub combo. This would be awesome in the office.
9) Flor modular carpet. If it’s good enough for Dooce, it’s good enough for me.
10) Nothing. I think this is what I need most of all.