Wednesday: I discovered Music123 is not accepting their own gift cards. “No m’am, I can’t tell you when we’ll be accepting them again. Would you like to pay for that with another type of payment?” Umm no. I wouldn’t.

Thursday 2pm ET: High speed internet repair person appears to try and solve the problem we’ve been having with internet slowness, modem dropping the connection, and my brand new Toshiba Tablet not being able to hold a connection for more than 2 minutes. Within 45 minutes, he solved the internet slowness/modem dropping the connection problem for all of the computers in the house – except my brand new Toshiba Tablet.

Thursday 3pm ET: I call Toshiba. The technician has me uninstall the driver and let windows re-install it upon reboot. That does not solve the problem and he has no other suggestions. None. Except that I bring it into an authorized service dealer in Jacksonville. So, I surf the web and fiddle with some settings and install two new drivers and guess what – my nice new Toshiba Tablet holds a connection.

Thursday 8pm ET: We turn on the TV to watch Survivor. No picture. The menu guide appears at the bottom but the actual picture does not appear. I unplugged the cable box, and checked the connections. No luck. I dial the Cox Communications phone number thinking I can use the automated system to refresh the converter box. No. After hours they put you through to their answering service. Answering service assures me someone will call me that night or the next day. We watch Survivor on a very fuzzy TV.

Friday 11 AM ET: Nobody from Cox has called, so I call them. “Sorry you are having problems with your cable TV. We can send someone out in one week.” Errr, no. Unacceptable for a problem caused by your technician. Phone rep puts me on hold, comes back and says her manager wants me to talk to the high speed internet folks and get them to send the original technician back out that day. She transfers me. To a number. That is. No. Longer. In. Service. I call back. I speak to a man who has no idea why she would transfer me back to high speed internet but he speaks to his manager who assures me that someone will come out that day and they will call to tell me what time to expect the service call.

Friday 11:30am ET: I discover Foyles has not sent a book I ordered to the book-loving RJ. I call them in London. They apologize. They accidentally omitted it from the order. They assure me they will send it out immediately.

Friday 2pm ET: No phone call but a banging on the door. Same technician who “fixed” the internet is back. He grumbles a hello. He heads for the TV and then outside to the box. The TV begins to work. He grumbles a goodbye and leaves.

Friday 2:45pm ET: The high speed internet is no longer working. I run to the door. Technician already gone. I recycle the modem. I pick up the phone to call Cox again. I speak with a man who says “Your technician is scheduled for between 1-3pm today” Errr no, he was just here and he fixed the TV but now the internet is not working. “Oh. Sorry. I’ll call him right now and I’m sure he’ll just turn right around and come back. And if he can’t, then someone will call you to tell you when a technician will arrive.”

Friday 4pm ET: No phone call, no technician. I call Cox again. “I’m sorry, I can’t tell you what time the technician will arrive. Sometime between now and 7pm. 7pm is the latest he’ll come out.” I give them a second number to contact me in case they arrive while we are shuttling people to work.

Friday 4:18pm ET: A woman from the administrative offices call. She wants the whole story. Again. She assures me SOMEONE will show up tonight by 7pm. She apologizes. A call waiting beep comes in – someone from Cox, I don’t answer it because I’m talking to her.

Friday 6:50pm ET: I call Cox again. “No m’am, we don’t have a service call for you for this evening. Let me just look at your account again. I see now that there is a book of notes and I need to review them.” “Technician tried to call you today and said no machine was available to leave a message.” Duh, that’s why I gave them my cell phone, apparently they called while I was talking to administrative woman! “Oh, I see now that there was a service call scheduled and all I can tell you is someone will come out today. I will send an email to some people asking where the technician is. Someone will call you right back”

Friday 7:18 pm ET: Bob calls. “M’am, your technician was already there and solved the problem between 1 and 3.” “Yes Bob, he was. But when he solved the TV problem, he broke the internet again.” “He did? I didn’t get that message.” I go through the entire thing again. “Oh. I’m sorry. I really was not aware that this was the situation. I’ll call the supervisor who is working in the field right now. Someone will resolve this tonight.”

Friday 7:45pm ET: Banging on the door. Chris Rock-like gentleman. Cheerful, energetic, apologetic. I let him in, I close the door. He says, “OH I’ve got back up coming. I mean right now, you closed the door on him.” I open the door. Original technician. He says nothing. They go to the cable modem. Chris Rock-like dude asks where the box is. Original technician says “I know where everything is.” But it’s dark and the porch light is at the other end of the house. They don’t want our lantern, they want to go to their truck and get theirs. Chris Rock-like dude is all cheerful and encouraging. “We’ll have this right up for you! It will be so fast! You’ll see!”

Friday 8:00pm ET: Cable dudes gone. TV is on. Internet is super fast.

Welcome. Welcome to my life.

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